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Douf 04-13-2009 06:02 PM

Two Meals - True Terror (An Alaskan Ironbutt Odyssey): Liking Biking
The Plan

Elaborating on an idea that inexplicably popped into my head just this morning, I’ve decided – reflecting a propensity on this trip to typically obtain our daily nutritional requirements consuming an uninspiring combination of 'oh-dark-thirty' gas station breakfast fare, plus whatever evening sustenance happened to be convenient; coupled with the incessantly nerve wracking effort required just to remain awake traversing the endless mileage of the Canadian plains – that I shall call this report: 2 Meals – True Terror, and I will conduct the written effort under the guise of my nom-de-plume: Liking Biking. However, unlike my possibly more famous counterpart, I will not cut to the chase with a riveting factually based account of the exciting series of events as they unfolded; but rather, attempt to disguise the comparably tawdry nature of this particular story with an extensive litany of literary embellishment. For those of you aware of such things, a brief, potentially familiar biography of Liking Biking will follow shortly. :thumb <o:p></o:p>
Recently having finished my epic South Africa report - if you haven't yet had the considerable pleasure, go to: :evil - and enjoying the writing experience so much, I thought I'd like to do another. One problem though: no trips upcoming in the near future. So, I thought to myself: 'Phil,' I thought, 'Why not do a write up of my 2006 Arctic Circle odyssey?' Why not? well there's a crap load of AK reports out there already, that's why not - and probably done a lot better than my pathetic attempt is likely to be too. So, to give it a bit of a (hopefully) novel angle, how about this:

The trip itself was 14 days, 12,000 miles, Atlanta-Alaska and back of Ironbutt hell, but what if we'd taken 6 months instead of two weeks? What would we have seen and done differently? This is where I imagine getting some outside help. I post the day's trip report: you FF's chime in with all the best crap that we missed (pics write-ups, you name it), and at the end of the report I conclude either (a) that I'll never even consider another of these two wheeled exercises in masochism again or (b) the rest of you need to quit hanging around so much, :evil or maybe even possibly (c) I need to quit hanging around so much :eek1

Feedback? Any interest, or am I going straight to JM in a futile attempt to defend my manhood. :huh

Hugs and kisses,


My Route - All the way from good old Jawjaw

While my Partners in crime came from further up the east coast (MA & RI)

GB 04-13-2009 06:51 PM

Sure, bring it on, we could use another Alaska report :thumb


rainebow 04-13-2009 07:08 PM

being a noob i'm sure if my opinion counts for much but i'd love to read it... :-P

Schickmeister 04-13-2009 07:09 PM

what ^^^he^^^^ said...i would LOVE to read it!

Clarkman 04-13-2009 08:48 PM

Bring it. That's a great idea actually. Every Alaska RR says "you should check this out!" and well, yours in encouraging it. Cool idea. I'll be heading up there next summer, so it'll sorta work as a Cliff Notes for me too...

BlueBuell 04-13-2009 09:33 PM

Who cares about Alaska! I want to know what drove you to complete 12,000 miles in 2 weeks. Dude.

Douf 04-14-2009 05:28 AM


Originally Posted by BlueBuell
Who cares about Alaska! I want to know what drove you to complete 12,000 miles in 2 weeks. Dude.

I guess it was a combination of (predictably) work and the sadistic mofo (Gary) who organized the whole thing. Being a seasoned Ironbutt veteran, at the time - he's all better these days - Gary's mindset was ineivitably that the extent of a person's manhood is measured by the length of his.................trip.
On the other hand, I'd only ever done one thousand mile day (barely) in my life prior to this little sojourn, but happily (naively?) consented to strappin' on the old fuel cell and hittin' the road; and give or take we did five of those suckers back-to-back in the first five days, with a high water mark (for two of us) of 1100+ miles including over 2 hours detained at the pleasure of our Canadian customs friends, discussing the ancient minutiae of our long forgotten alcoholic misdemeanors - I must say those gentlemen are very well researched. Oh how we laughed. And.....sore ass? I think I'd have felt better going fifteen rounds in solitary confinement with a rampantly homosexual Mike Tyson.
I can sense you're already jonsin' to do something similar.


ubergeek71 04-14-2009 05:34 AM

I love ride reports...bring it on!

corsair4360 04-14-2009 06:43 AM

Another Alaska Report?
Each one is different, the specifics of your route I imagine is different than the others, and I enjoy reading them all.

superdutyGS 04-14-2009 08:17 AM

12K in 14 days
There won't be one like yours I am sure. I am in....bring it on.
I love Alaska ride reports........there can't be too many.
Let's hear what you got.......................

RicH2 04-14-2009 12:39 PM

Douf......with an average of over 850 miles/day...that's not a trip, it's a race. So, you might want to file it under "Race Report".

BTW....what was your daily milage ?

Douf 04-14-2009 01:44 PM


Originally Posted by RicH2
Douf......with an average of over 850 miles/day...that's not a trip, it's a race. So, you might want to file it under "Race Report".

BTW....what was your daily milage ?

We did a bit over the average/day on the way across and on the way back, with a bit less than average/day whilst in Alaska. you're right though it was - by necessity - mainly in the 800+ region though and FWIW we did a low of 228miles on the main maintenance day of the trip and I did a high of 1400+ on the last day after I had left the other guys in Montana; riding back from just outside Denver to Atlanta - with the fuel cell I could get 440 miles before hitting reserve. It was the first trip of this intensity that I'd done and to be honest it was actually easier than I'd expected. Gary had us fed, gassed up and hitting the road by 5am every morning and after that it just became an excercise in realistic time management. It can't have been that bad, since after they headed back east from MT, having a couple of extra days left, I decided to head south and tag the Mexican border just for the hell of it. However, for reasons I'll discuss in my report, I never made it.


GB 04-14-2009 03:36 PM

Thread title updated at your request :thumb

Douf 04-14-2009 04:07 PM


Originally Posted by Gadget Boy
Thread title updated at your request :thumb

Thanks GB :thumb


DIRTim 04-14-2009 05:57 PM


Originally Posted by jts5032
what ^^^he^^^^ said...i would LOVE to read it!

Ummm..... He is a she I believe!

Always have time for another ride report.

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