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swamp 04-24-2013 01:48 PM

swamp: Mexistan and Central Bunghole
I've just returned from riding The Yucatan to Panama.
I'll begin with a brief photo/video introduction then will get more detailed as I move through the report.

The bike: "Window Licker" . Just Window for short. 2012 BMW G650GS Sertao.

Its been slightly warmed over.


no need for a speedo:

modded out:

YZ forks, suspension by house of horsepower, 18"excel in rear 21"excel front, superlaced by Woody's, ABS delete and put on a diet, etc look at the youtube video info for a full (almost) list of modifications.

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i usually ride smaller bikes

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I had already ridden a 225 across the USA in the dirt: The Flesh Eater Route

.. and through Baja in the dirt (tecate to cabo): A Fist Full of Baja

so i figured i wouldn't bore myself or waste my time riding from Alabama, through Mississippi, Louisiana and then through the never ending state of Tejas. I would just ship my bike to the Yucatan Peninsula then fly over and ride from there. So that is exactly what I did:

I built a shipping crate for the bike :

loaded it up into The Danger Ranger:

drove down to the fake south... AKA Florida.. land of the Floridiots. Face it, you know its true.

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unloaded at the port (which is a border zone and requires cool name tags and plenty of stamping and signing)

I then had to wait for a phone call. the bike needed to be inspected and clear customs along with other export documentation and logistical blah blah that i will go into detail about here:

so, two days later they call me tell me that "Window" has cleared customs and will ship out in two days. i buy my air ticket and get my shit together:

....hit myself in the knee with a chainsaw while cutting single track...

...continue to get my shit together, everything is going into a 2013giant loop great basin bag and two giant loop dry bags. i decided against the rotopax for this trip, but will carry it on the South American leg of the journey :


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I will review this bag further at the end of the ride report. Ill also review all the other gear, gps maps, mods and kit that I used. just because I enjoy reading about gear just like the rest of you do.

stay tuned for:

big bikes in small elevators

beers of the world and stories of well traveled freakazoids

one bloody arm

solo jungle madness

barbaric innovation using extremely sharp utensils

multiple... exploding things in Los Zeta's drug cartel territory

...and PLENTY of lazy, foot dragging, don't-wanna-work, border officials !


MrPulldown 04-24-2013 02:00 PM

Can't wait

Throttlemeister 04-24-2013 05:03 PM


Did you leave the bike in Panama for the next shipment to Colombia:ear

ADWrider 04-24-2013 05:50 PM

Sweet. Love me some Swamp reports.

GRinCR 04-24-2013 05:55 PM

Hell yes!

Strange Rider 04-24-2013 06:40 PM

As much as I like to hear all the wonderful things about trips to foreign places, it's nice to hear someone's true words. Tell the good and the not-so-good. I don't want to read a "travel magazine" account of a wonderful trip, so say what you think. Good beginning!

Ginger Beard 04-24-2013 06:48 PM

Oh shit, IN!!

swamp 04-24-2013 06:48 PM


Originally Posted by Throttlemeister (Post 21261123)

Did you leave the bike in Panama for the next shipment to Colombia:ear

howdy Sir martin

trying to skip to the end SOONER... than everyone else are we :lol3

as far as the NEXT shipment to colombia, thats not going to happen. Ill be back there to get the bike some time next year! around February at the latest. im sure customs is going to shart themselves about the bike being there for that long but fuck it. how else am i supposed to do this?

woodly1069 04-25-2013 01:27 PM

Another swamp adventure! AND I caught it early on! :freaky Proceed YFF!

woodly1069 04-25-2013 01:30 PM

Hey swamp, forgot to ask, why not the little yammer hammer?

KiloBravo 04-25-2013 01:56 PM

YeeHaaww like a Swamp report.

dave6253 04-25-2013 05:01 PM

I've been in a bad rut of finding the good shit way to late, but am delighted to get in on the beginning of another trippy swampy trip.:D

V@lentino 04-25-2013 09:07 PM

So in
:lurk oh yeah!! :lurk

swamp 04-26-2013 07:26 PM

mexistan and central bunghole
My son, Forest is three months old. He was born January Second 2013. At some point between that date and April second 2013 I decided that I would strip my BMWG650 GS Sertao of its stock equipment, build a capable machine that would take me across Central and South America, crate and ship the completed motorbike over sea from Panama City Florida to Progreso, Yucatan Mexico at which point I would fly from Hoover Alabama to Merida Mexico; then catch a taxi from Merida to Progreso. From there, I would ride the bike to Panama City Panama, Central Bunghole.

Step one: Destroy One, Perfectly Decent Motorcycle…

Step Two: Build a Better Bike (hopefully) Out from the Wreckage

I located a shipping company over the Internet who would walk me through the entire process. It was very confusing to me. I had shipped a motorcycle over sees previously but had never done an international shipment before. It requires the bike to be exported from the home country and then imported into the destination country. There are all different kinds of documents that are needed. Honestly it’s a big pain in the ass. The wood that the shipping crate is made from must be a specific type of heat cured wood.. yea, like that.

Tool Kit

Journal from 4/2/2013
I crated the “window licker” today then hired a fork lift to load the crated bike into the bed of my Ford Danger Ranger.

I drove to the port in Florida. According to them; the place is a “Border Zone”. I thought it was pretty high security. Had to have a name card pass made and then be escorted by another vehicle. Paperwork, money; over $850 to ship the bike, $150 for the fork lift.

Shipping the bike:

I booked a flight to Merida Mexico which is just South of Progreso. On April Fourth 2013 I get on an airplane wearing my motorcycle gear (sans boots), sit in the chair and realize, shit here we go again.

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Once I land in Merida i need to get a taxi north to Progreso, find the shipping office and make an effort to get my bike before they close for business.. and find a hotel for the night.. and get some pesos.. or something.

the taxi driver ends up helping me out a lot. he drove me around to 3 different banks trying to withdraw money off my debit card. non of them worked which was strange to me because i had called the card company and told them that i would be traveling out of the country. i had some cash so he drove me to this place in town that sold electronics like TVs, stereos, computer etc. In the back of the store they had a woman behind glass that exchanged my dollars for pesos. i think the rate was something like 11 pesos / 1 dollar. "sounds good to me" . Ok now I have money to pay the taxi driver with.

he drives me around until we find the shipping office.
they are closed, its 15:00 (well shit). I tell him to bring me to a hotel that is close to their office. I stay here: its 300 pesos/ night. hot water, air, big bed. I mark a waypoint on my gps unit.

Buy beer, drink beer:

go next door, get a haircut and a beard trim. i really enjoy having my beard trimmed in different countries. especially in asia, where its rare for the barbers to encounter such nappy gnarl. at the end of my borneo trip i walked into a barber shop and the malaysian women didnt know what to do! i ended up giving her a lesson in beard trimming, later i realized that it wasnt that she couldnt do it, it was that she didnt want to get close to the back of my head because it was caked up with dirt and peeling sun burn. but whatever.. anyways.

Progreso, Yucatan. later that day:

I go back to the hotel and try to get my thoughts together for tomorrow. it will be a busy day dealing with unknowns surrounding my bike...

I try to get some rest and look over my maps:

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swamp 04-26-2013 07:29 PM


Originally Posted by dave6253 (Post 21268924)
I've been in a bad rut of finding the good shit way to late, but am delighted to get in on the beginning of another trippy swampy trip.:D

hey dave. glad to have you along. i really enjoy your reports as well.

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