Creep,
You sir are a disturbed person...

I am consulting the pysch books now so we can diagnose your "disorder"...
I am leaning to "rode the other day, bike is sullied, must clean disorder" with a touch of "WTF, while I am detailing my bike I may well completely diassemble and rebuild my bike disorder" - hard to nail down exactly at this point
Fellow members of the the ADVrider community, thumpers in specific - no matter your affiliation (BST or FCR) - we ALL must come together in helping to diagnose the Creep.
In true hijack fashion, I urge you all to offer your suggestions of diagnosis

for this sick, sick man...
Signed,
A concerned ADVrider...