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Old 11-06-2011, 12:05 PM   #71
All bikes are dirt bikes
bumblebee1's Avatar
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Ottawa
Oddometer: 1,431
Thanks for the explination notmybikemodelname (hope your wife named your kids).
I stuck a knife in my right eye when I was four and people keep asking what happened and how did they fix it.
They stuck four stiches in it but I kept trying to figure out how they held the eye steady when poking around with a needle.
Well now I know.

Originally Posted by notmybikemodelname View Post
Procedures for taking an eye out:
  1. Have the patient lay on his side with his face over a sterile dish that looks like a small bed pan.
  2. Apply a mild sedative to the effected eye.
  3. Tell the patient to close the non-effected eye because he will still be able to see out the effected eye once it has been removed and that can make you sick to your stomach.
  4. Take a untesile that looks like a set of spoons and press them into the sides of the eye socket.
  5. Wait for a slight sucking sound as the eyes is pulled from the socket and air seeps into your eye socket.
  6. Extract pellet from said eye.
  7. Wash eye socket with generous portions of saline solution.
  8. Then take another utensile that looks like a four sided vise grip and use it to gently open the eye socket.
  9. Reinsert eye
  10. Remove utensile
  11. Apply a medicated gel generously to the eye. Not hat kind of gel!
  12. Apply patch.
  13. Proceed to berate patient for being an idiot.
  14. Tell patient your parents are here and they are pissed.
And what are you planning to do with your one and only life?
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