Just edited a couple words in the last update... I'm finding it a bit hard to write about this trip due to having alot of different feelings now than I did back in May/June. This has been another Soul searching Road trip and things have changed alot since then, so I'll try to do my best to be in the moment as it was back then.
Gotta say I'm finding it to be a bitch!
I wanna say what's on my mind now but that has to wait until I get to that point 5 months away in the story line.... I feel rushed to put up the pics and get to now on Nov. 14th but that is just Fuking up the whole story, sooo I'll try to get back into my head as it was then without sounding too strange. Even picking the music is tough as I've gotta a whole list that is too recent really. I just re-read that last post and it didn't sound like me talking... I gotta work on that!!!
As this ride is unfolding I'm constantly in flux about the direction my life is taking find I am more observant of myself, my actions and my thoughts than I've ever been. I feel big changes on the horizon.. just not sure when I'll wake up and start staying on the path as it unfolds.
Hell I could just keep running in circles chasing my tail? If as they say the path is always unfolding beneath our feet... then we're always on it right.
I've never been one to walk too straight... really like to wander around smelling all the bushes.
But I will add.... that you could say there are at least two paths unfolding in front of us. The one is from our minds.... what we think we should do, where we should go, who we should be with, who we are, etc... Then there's the path that streams from our hearts... It is more of a feeling deep inside us, how we feel about what we're doing, where we're going, what we're doing, if we're being true to who we REALLY are?
I'm trying to sense this latter path... the one coming from my heart. I've spent a whole life following the path from my that streams from my mind. I'm back to what Don Juan the our Sorcerer friend once said:
The Path With A Heart
Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path, and there is not affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition.
I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. This question is one that only a very old person asks. My benefactor told me about it once when I was young, and my blood was too vigorous for me to understand it. Now I do understand it.
I will tell you what it is: Does this Path have a Heart?
All paths are the same, they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long, long paths, but I am not anywhere. My benefactor's question has meaning now. "Does this path have a heart?" One makes you strong; the other weakens you.
The trouble is nobody asks the question: and when a person finally realizes that they have taken a path without heart, the path is ready to kill them. At that point very few people stop to deliberate and leave the path.
A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.
For my part there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length.
And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly.
- Don Juan
Ok I wake up in the Canyon right next to Desiree' and look all around me.....
Just study these shapes and you can sense the life that created them...
For some reason I look straight up over my head and think to myself..."If this rock/mother earth wanted too... she could let a boulder loose and crush me like a fly!"
Then I look over at Alex.. Wonder how he slept.
We pack our bags and head back into Moab to find Esther and do some last minute bike work before leaving town.
I wonder how old these stone buildings are? People along here have built into and really used this rock.
We get phone signal and a txt so we go up the Green, as Esther has made camp up that way...
Still amazes me how good a pics this Olympus takes on the fly...
We get to the campground and find Esther... She has had a tough nite. At about 2 a.m. she still can't sleep because of the noisy neighbors, yelling at the kids in a bad way etc... here's an excerpt from here RR about it:
"I rode back into town to text Jim and tell him where I was camped. While I was back in town I decided to get some good food and some stuff for the guys to eat in case they made it back early. I met a lady called Gail from Alaska.
That night turned out to be one out of a horror story.
The occupants of the tent nearby turned out to be a large family or friends, 4 kids and three adults. They were talking and screaming till about 1:30 AM after which the dad told them to go in the tent and watch a movie. Unfortunately one of the kids, a young boy of about 8 was throwing a bit of a tantrum about having to watch a movie he didn’t want to watch. I have never heard a dad scream such horrible language at a kid, totally putting him down and belittling him. The F word was pretty dominant.
At 2 AM I was so tired and could not sleep because the guy was talking loudly. I walked to the road for a bit to enjoy the quiet and the view of the moon over the valley. As I got back to camp I asked the three adults if they would be going to bed soon. I explained that I had a long ride tomorrow and wanted to be alert on my motorcycle. The guy got horrible rude and told me very clearly that he had no inclination to go to bed at any time soon, and that if I didn’t like it I should move my stuff and sleep somewhere else. I told him kindly that normally people are respectful of other campers and don’t make a bunch of noise at 2am. He then told me that if I wanted he could make things really unpleasant for me by going to his truck and getting his 45.
I told him go ahead. That shut him up for just a sec. I also told him he was rude and that he had no right to holler at his kid like that. Then I wished him love and peace in his heart and left. While I packed my stuff I felt so powerless. Here is someone so obnoxious and all I wanted was peace. I did not want to argue with him or fight , just kindness and consideration, but neither one was possible. I also did not want to pack my stuff and move cause I was so tired. I ended up screaming loudly out of sheer frustration of my predicament. In the end I took the peaceful giving way instead of the resisting way and moved to the other side of the campground with the help of Gail who was also camped there. Unfortunately that side didn’t have trees for my hammock so I pitched my tent and got about 3 hours of sleep. I have yet to get to a point in my life that I accept whatever it dishes out without getting too ruffled by it.
The next morning, Tuesday June 5th my daughter’s Birthday, I cleaned up camp and waited for Jim and Alex who showed up later in the morning.
I told Jim the story of what happened, which I guess I shouldn’t have seeing as he stormed of in the direction of the guy’s camp. I told him to just let it go, forgive and forget. All happens as it should, but he didn’t really listen.
I guess the guy hid the whole time Jim hovered around.
Then Jim rode off and Alex stayed behind napping until I had my bike packed up.
Turns out he really hurt himself on the white rim trail. Crashed his bike pretty hard and hurt his hands. The he told me about the deer he hit and how it ended up with two broken legs. Jim held it and caressed it for 10 minutes trying to heal it but couldn’t. He ended up having to put it out of its misery using a knife. I am glad it wasn’t me. I don’t think I could have coped with that to good. Neither could Alex. It was a pretty traumatic night for him, hence the napping."
Yea I had a REALLY hard time letting this go..... Normally I would've easily got in this guys face purposefully egging him on until he made the mistake of threatening me or actually touching me. Then I would simply beat the living $hit out of him, all the while feeling bad about doing it in front of the kids, it wouldn't be the first time. But on this day and since I'm taking a new path (haven't been in a fight in 4yrs now- up to 2008 I'd been in a fight/multiple fights every single year since 1974, whoa!) Soo I just crouched down at the edge of their camp piercing the air with my disgust. It caught the attention of a woman who I think was his wife and told her how unhappy I was at the Bullshit from last night, in a calm but VERY FIRM and detailed way! She kinda crossed paths with the dude on the far side saying something... then he went up to his truck and made himself busy for the next 20 minutes. Wouldn't come near the camp... I just crouched there waiting as the minutes ticked by... I had to fight with myself to let that be enough.
With that over... hmmmphmmmmmm it was back to Fred's to get a spare rear wheel I had Sherri ship out from PA for Esther.
Turns out it was too big for the mail jeep guy to deliver??? What REALLY....haha ok I'll go get it myself... with my bike.
I thot this was pretty funny, the mail guy couldn't pick it up but I could.
Esther and Fred do the wheel swap , it has a fresh Sinko 244 on it, but after we leave town the winds are sooo strong she feels the tire is squirelly and doesn't like it at all:( Hmmmm Al and I love 244's.
I really get to know Fred on this trip, we go out to eat a couple times and share some deep talks about life. I decide I really like him.
I pull off the Aluminum sprocket I've been testing and slap on a fresh steely.
4,400miles... not too bad I should've let it go till it wore completely out. Would have been a much more substantial test. Live and learn.
We say goodbye to Fred and we're off. We actually get a motel for the last night in town and in the morning get one last breakfast at the EklectiCafe.... Then we part ways, I'm heading for Sabastopol, Ca to visit with Jessica again then roll up the coast to see Rick Mayer and get my saddle tuned up a bit, Esthers heading to Berkley for a Lucid Dreaming conference and Alex is heading to Vernal to visit our buddy Ian, he and I plan to meet up in a couple weeks in Lewiston to go to the Hells Canyon Gathering in Enterprise, sooo off we all go.