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Old 12-10-2012, 04:07 AM   #8
DesertSweeper OP
Gnarly Adventurer
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Oddometer: 377
Bangkok Part 2

I am getting complaints from different quarters that this is supposed to be a Ride Report not a beer-fest. Please be patient, the riding is coming soon. I am merely documenting the run-up to the actual riding part. It’s my job as official ride journo...


Sidewalk food


Alternative sidewalk food


She used to go by the name of Dave

It’s 3am and our newly-built Night Club has lost its appeal. We are now down to the hard-core inner circle of the boy’s (and your writer who always has to stand to the bitter end in order to properly document events) who decide it’s time to find a new location. We stagger back to our hotel that has a real night club on the ground floor. They want us to pay a cover charge so we abandon that idea and find a nearby spot to eat some violently insane Tom Yum soup. We then move to a nearby coffee shop to drink more beer and watch the early-morning madness unfold. At this hour the very lowest echelons of Bangkok life come out to play. The dregs of humanity have all finally gone home and it’s just us and these strange creatures. Five bare-footed tourists with back-packs silently walk past us up the filthy street, reach the intersection and then walk backwards all the way past us again. Ladyboys gone wrong are trying it on with anything vaguely resembling anything. It’s now around 5am so we head back to the hotel and discover the night club is just closing up. We ask them if there is any chance of getting a drink for the ditch to which they say go away in colourful language. Owen immediately says “Free drinks for everyone” so they 15 or so staff immediately agree and the bar is open again.


The staff look really happy now that they are open again

Owen is now on a roll and ups the ante by suggesting champagne for all and not just any champagne but Moet. I point out that he has absolutely no money whatsoever as I confiscated his wallet much earlier in the evening when he tried to give 100 dollar bills to random strangers in exchange for a half-drunk beer. He says I shouldn’t get hung up on technicalities.


Owen and Noel butter up the head of security

Round after round after round and it’s now 6am and our bus to Cambodia will be arriving in a couple of hours. Owen and Noel are being difficult about the whole time thing as they have only just started (they claim) so I slowly coax Owen into the lift using the old “carrot technique” – an empty beer bottle. Noel has sort of passed out in what is soon to become the hotel’s breakfast area so he is safe for now. I manage to get Owen to his room and he finally slips into unconsciousness and crashes half into bed. His arms and upper torso are on the bed but his legs are sprawled across the floor. He hasn't quite made it. An hour later we need to leave so I fetch whoever is up and we try to reboot him. Someone suggests we slip an illegal substance into his nose but that would be too expensive as he has a huge nose. Finally Brian empties a bottle of ice-cold water over his head and I see a faint gleam of light in one eye. I tell him to empty another one and indeed a flicker of life appears in the other. Finally he responds, wobbles to his feet and without saying a thing staggers over to his still- closed wheeler suitcase which he then uses as a Zimmer-frame to assist his uncertain auto-path to the elevator. He is not talking which may have something to do with his attempts to get his eyes to focus on something to create a frame of reference. We join the still sleeping noel downstairs to assemble the troops for a quick bite before we get on our bus. Owen, Noel and I have a beer for breakfast and start to feel normal again...there was a short moment back there where our alcohol levels dropped dangerously low. We finish up and stagger out to our waiting bus for the long road to Siem Reap in Cambodia.


Liquid breakfast at the Nana Plaza hotel
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