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Old 12-10-2012, 07:19 AM   #9
DesertSweeper OP
Gnarly Adventurer
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Oddometer: 377
Road Trip

Rather than fly, Brian has decided we will do a road trip to Cambodia from Thailand. His sound reasoning is that one can only drink so many beers on a one hour flight but a whole lot more on a road trip. Our bus is a fully pimped pleasure mobile with a cooler box and lots of beer.

A familiar warm fuzzy sight for regular readers

It will take us around 4 hours to get to the notorious Poipet border crossing and then another 3 to Siem Reap in Cambodia due to the traffic. When you factor the border crossing in thatís a good 8 hour stint...with a bunch of seriously drunk teenagers in a confined space. This is going to be interesting.

Owen can no longer keep his head vertical.

The first part of this journey is fairly uneventful with various heads slumping and a bit of drool between beers. By the time we get to the border everyone is cut but Noel and Owen have exceeded all expectations. At this point they are functioning at the lowest levels of process. Simple amoeba can perform more tricks. Unfortunately the border crossing on the Thai side is total chaos and requires sharp wit. The queue is about 500 meters long, extending way outside the immigration building and it shuffles at a snailís pace.

At least they have snacks along the way (yup roaches)

When eventually Owen presents what is left of his shattered body to the official it is not a pretty sight. He decides that the goose-neck camera used to take your picture is some kind of reality TV show and proceeds to pull faces at it. Then he tries to use it as a microphone. We all pretend we donít know him (aside from Noel who canít do much of anything) but our common t-shirts give it away. Noel lurches forward to join Owen in a serenade completely unaware that he is in a Thai government department. Actually he is probably unaware that he is anywhere at all. I think the sheer lunacy frightens the official who probably thinks to himself that they are exiting the country so best speed things along before an incident occurs. He stamps their passports and someone pushes them in the direction of the outbound door. No manís land presents a challenge as one must carry or drag your possessions from the one border to the other, about 500 feet. The journey is long and perilous for the two lads who manage it in small little stages. Several shuffles and a pause, reboot, re-assess and then shuffle again. Occasionally their path would be blocked by a beast or person and they would retreat a few paces to mutually confer on the blockage. It was pretty much each man to himself for all of us by then but we made it to the other side with Owen and Noel finally joining us an hour or so later.

A bus pulls up and blocks their way so they just wait for it to go away

We are met with yet another insane queue but manage to bribe our way past them to a sheltered drinking hole where we can wait while a ďVIPĒ official expedites our passport processing. It actually lands up taking longer but at least we are sitting in the shade and drinking beer.

Owen listing badly

Two German girls sit down near us also waiting for their passports so Owen mumbles something about showing us how good he is at chatting up girls. He takes out a few chairs lurching over to them and sits down right next to one. Leaning in for the kill he belches before starting his routine. As we all know he hasnít opened his case for the last two days we are aware that he has not put a tooth-brush anywhere near his teeth. For some strange reason the girls abruptly depart which causes the man much confusion as he knows deep down in his pin-sharp brain that this is something he is definitely good at. Noel is complaining that someone has drooled on his t-shirt. All is going very well. We eventually get our passports and someone manages to work out that we need to board a public bus that will take us to our private bus waiting about 3 miles away. It is total chaos as our bike-gear bags barely fit through the door and few of us can function enough to figure out the puzzle. Other tourists wisely decide to wait for the next one as we head off into the frenzied border town with the lads trying to sing something that is horribly wrong.

The actual border crossing has taken more than two hours so when we get to our private bus the sun is beginning to set already. Before climbing in the boys want to see evidence that there is a substantial quantity of beer on board so Brian is elected to investigate. Our hosts Hidden Cambodia Dirt Bike Tours have come through as we discover crates of the sacred liquid under the seats.

More Beer!

Owen thinks he is still in front of the Immigration Officer
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