o.k. again with a counter steering thread. I'll play. when i teach new riders(after they have taken the msf course,which i highly recommend for learning THE BASICS) i take them out to a deserted hiway and practice weaving the white lines, I start out by sitting behind them and with there hands on the grips, I steer the bike with their elbows, it demonstrates very effectively how steering works. i also cover their hands with mine and do near threshold braking. works great.
DISCLAIMER.I'm 6' 7 and my arms are longer than average and my hands are also a bit bigger. this technique may not work if you can't comfortably operate the bike from the pillion.
now the answer. first you have to learn to it deliberately and consciously, keep doing it and it will become automatic and muscle memory.