Well, fuckaduck, I think I have a blown ECU unit, or as the parts microfiche calls it, the Timing Charger EFI.
Went over everything again. Pulled the aft plug again, and it smells of gas. Turn the key, and the fuel pump and the ABS make their respective startup noises. Hit the starter and sonofabitch there IS a spark. Guess I didn't see it in the daylight. I'm glad you guys suggested I check again.
With the plug back in, the bike cranks but doesn't run.
I'm going to call the dealer and see if they can run a diagnostic if I just bring the module to them.
a $525 part.