LA: Though I never quite felt at home there, I felt at home when I returned. And though I had a short time there--3 months in 2010, 9 in 2011-12, I seem to have no shortage of lucid memories. There's some sort of special significance Los Angeles has that I don't understand yet, like some clue in a David Lynch or Tarantino movie that will only reveal its purpose to me at some later date.
I had no idea what I was going to do. I thought traveling around the country would give me clarity. I thought I'd have found at least 3 or 4 cities where I'd want to live. I thought I'd be sick and tired of Kwai Chang Caining it around the US. But I had no clarity and I didn't want to stop. But none-the-less, I had to. I had projects and ideas and financial things to attend to. I needed to stay in one place for at least a few weeks so I could get my affairs in order, so to speak. My ex offered to let me stay with her for a few days, but the lease was up on our old place, so that wasn't a long-term solution.
The facts were:
- I had no home
- I didn't want one
- I couldn't stop
- I couldn't keep going (winter)
There was a rather bulletproof FJ sitting there in the driveway, though. And just like that plan for ADV v1.2 began.
I took the rest of my belongings and put 'em into storage and snapped one last pic of the odometer. And like I had done six months earlier, I hit the ignite button and roared off.
My last ride was sobering. And sad. And depressing. Getting onto the freeway I gave her wide open throttle through the gears, one last rush, one last taste of freedom for both of us. She thought that perhaps we were going to San Diego again, or Mexico, or even downtown. Or maybe to a new cool photo shoot location.
I indulged her vanity, snapped a bunch of shots, then carefully worked my hand down her left side to disconnect power while HAL's "Daisy" echoed slower and slower in my mind. It was the hardest thing I'd done the entire trip. I knew we'd be eventually be reunited, but as I backed her in with the rest of my things I couldn't help feel that I was burying my playmate and mistress and no small part of myself.