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Old 03-23-2013, 08:31 AM   #3867
planktonnn OP
.also, i am a twat
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Joined: Jan 2008
Location: ...Fuckinemshite...
Oddometer: 4,179
Originally Posted by Kai Ju View Post
Too many bikes ?
Not enough time ?
Worried about your seals hardening ?
The battery going flat ?
Gas going stale ?
I can help. Expert motorcycle rider (over 500,000 miles without a ticket or accident )
Guarantee that redline will not be exceeded, footpeg feelers will not be scraped.
50p/mile plus gas.
Call now. 310 555-3278

BTW, if this works I would like a percentage of the proceeds............
Ah. Well. I can see the validity of the principle, but I'd have to modify the wording to match reality & avoid prosecution under what over here is called the Trades Description Act... More accurately, off the top of my head it might say -

  • "More bikes than me?, bikes that fire up & run?
  • Too lazy to ride when the weather's bad or your bikes are kept in your living room?
  • Not read those articles in the monthly mags about precautions to be taken when putting up your bike for the winter?
  • Too stingy to pay up for a trickle charger, too stingy to pay for the electricity, or parked out of reach of a socket?
  • Not had your tank syphoned by indigenous locals who will blame immigrants?
  • I may be able to assist but only for a massive fee + expenses. Mediocre rust bucket jockey (over 5 miles without a ticket or accident)
  • Guarantee that redline will be exceeded, footpeg feelers will be scraped, and tank too.
  • 500,000.00 per mile, plus peterol, which may be called gas in other parts of the world, to which I am willing to fly to provide said service, all expenses paid, plus other benefits I've yet to think of, but which will not be excluded by their lack of inclusion here, because I will no doubt be subject to L'espirit L'escalier.
  • Call Pjcr12 and he will call me or something."


PS: I'm afraid to say that due to 'rules' I will have to set an admin fee of 80% on your proportion of any imaginary income generated. The remaining 20% will be taken by the Guverment as tax & deductions on your gross fee. Sorry 'n' all

...using the wrong spanner since 1964... ...Electronically begging for a rebuild via

planktonnn screwed with this post 03-25-2013 at 12:09 PM
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