The difference between humans and dumb animals is that humans use tools.
I carry a length of seatbelt webbing with D-rings sewn into one end, with that looped over my shoulder I can deadlift my bike - I can't otherwise. That's about the size of a packet of ciggies rolled up.
It'd also make it a lot easier to drag it around - though fortunately, that's untested.
A ratchet strap would likely give you that option, as well as being able to tie it round a tree and ratchet the bike around.
Sorry guys, brute strength is the dumb option here, look for options which use smarts and simple tools, not strength.