Originally Posted by Tijustme2
Mark, I want you to know how much I appreciate each update/post/photo. I, and I'm sure thousands of others lurking like I have been, live somewhat vicariously through your adventures.
I have been my mother's caregiver for the past two years until last week, when I finally had to place her in assisted living. It is terrible to witness the decline of a loved one to this disease. It certainly does take a toll on the caregiver also, as you must know only too well. But after a recent hospitalization, and the tremendous improvement that she made in rehab, I determined that it was in her best interests (and mine) to find a different solution.
"he said it's not what you are doing TO her, but rather what you are doing FOR her". I now agree, but I had to overcome guilt in stepping away from relinquishing her daily care somewhat.
And there is, I'm sorry to admit, mixed emotions besides guilt associated with caregiving-selfishness, resentment, among others.
My heart goes out to you and your mom as well. Caregiving is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. But I cannot think of anything more honorable than being able to care for a loved one and make their lives better.
* needing to place a loved one in a care facility is one of the hardest decisions and actions that a caregiver is faced with. But your acquaintance is right. I see it as compassionate care. At some point having others help with all the basic care allows a loved one and caregiver to focus on Loving the person like no one else can. And being alive to actually do that instead of burnt out or having serious personal health issues due to the stress and strain of caregiving .
Caregiving is not for the weak. It is full of so many emotions, strains that really can take a toll if you do not take care of yourself along the way!