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Old 06-24-2013, 12:19 PM   #84
jdrocks OP
Gravel Runner
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Oddometer: 4,193
a recap on travel over the last couple days, man, talk about wasted...

translated to eastern time, i was up at 4AM Saturday (8AM eastern) in Valdez to get organized and catch the early ferry over to Whittier. from there, travel by ferry, moto, cab, foot, plane, and car, arriving at the kids house in northern Virginia at 2:30AM Monday. do the numbers, i was sorta feeling it there towards the end.

some observations, after the joys of air travel over the last two days.

when doing a casting call for the extras required in that next zombie movie, no need for auditions, just go to the airports i've used recently, hop on my flights, there's zombies by the thousands. none of that expensive makeup needed, no rehearsals either, they'll just be in character. holler, "Zekes, line up over here", and the line will snake out the door and onto the runways.

if your dissertation is on psychopathic interaction in contemporary society, i can make it easy for you, and name the airports with a rich research environment.

demographics, i can help there too. take sociopaths per thousand in the general populace, for instance. heck, i'd name seattle first, no close second, at least judging from what i saw at their airport. some wierd behavior going on, almost bought a headstone for some dude after having to explain that some practical limits were being placed on what he was doing.

airport personnel are required to learn the word "NO" in at least 30 different languages.

it's possible to sneak a minimum of two steamer trunks disguised as carry on luggage past the gate attendant if she's busy explaining to another passenger that he doesn't have the right gate, or even the right airline.

never wear a short sleeve shirt or shorts when traveling by plane. your skin may come into contact with the skin of your fellow passengers, lordy, can't have that, trust me.

passengers fixated on their electronic devices will run slam into everything, never once noticing, or apologizing either.

if a passenger smokes dope for about a week in a very small room, then boards a plane wearing the exact same clothes, the passenger in the adjacent seat will press the button for the flight attendant every single time.

the caboose that some passengers are carrying where their butt used to be will not fit in today's airplane seats, heck, half of that thing won't fit either. you knew that ahead of time, so quit complaining to the attendant. also, planes only carry a limited number of those seat belt extensions for fat people, so it delays the whole flight when the attendants have to radio for more. when you need dozens more, the pilot must start to wonder if the damn plane will get off the ground.

an author writing a tome on BSC women for some obscure academic journal should fly more.

pilots get free ice cream at McDs.

those manning all the establishments along the airport food courts can't smoke, but apparently they are allowed to chew and spit in a cup while taking your order, both men and women.

judging from the preferred attire of most passengers, they don't own a full length mirror, or if they do, it's been broken for twenty years. on a related note, those transparent LuLu yoga pants were supposed to be returned, not worn.

there needs to be some national contest exclusive to airline passengers called "the ugliest tat" award. yeah, i know you like it and are ready to jump right out out your clothes to show off the rest of it, but some of the other passengers are getting queasy, and it's not airsickness.



i could keep going, being a keen observer and all...
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