How many "jigawatts" do I qualify for?
-Commute via car on Route 1 during Rush Hour 2x per day
-Approx 25% of local traffic consisting of foreign nationals with <2 yrs driving exp.
-Traffic lights every 21.3 feet
-Police response time to home alarm = 34 minutes (despite living within 1.5 miles of police station)
-Work in a building with medical research laboratories
-In between PHL and NYC
-In between and within 50 miles of numerous military bases
-In between and within 50 miles of multiple nuclear power plants
-Under major flight paths
-Electrical service subscriber
-Access to community pool
-Access to red meat
-Access to Large Soda
Statistically, I must already be dead.