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Old 07-01-2013, 07:30 AM   #28
mka OP
Gnarly Adventurer
 
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Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 205
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"now, where was I" - said deValera when he got back into power......!!! deValera was our first leader and got voted out once upon a time
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useless piece of info/trivia/bs/nonsense etc etc
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i took a trip last year to the dolomite alps...the idea was in my head from reading on the wonderweb about all these passes and twisties...so it had to be done !
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the bike was already in Italia so just needed to fly over, get a bus, get a train, get a taxi and there i would be......
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left home in the west of ireland at 1 am and got on bike by 2 pm....bike starts first time......man oh man...sweet...!!!
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up the road like f*ck...clean air...the idea was to stop at a place called Collepietra/Steinegg...... 3 or 4 hours max - or so I thought.
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it felt great to be on the road where no one knew me or cared....just out up the hills/mountains and free....free.....free
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whatever asshole like roads I was on...obviously not the direct route....as i am paddy and wouldn't know the correct route to anywhere...!!
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so, not knowing my ass from my elbow, it was taking a whole shedload longer than it should have....no matter....im on holidays...end of...!!
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...i am going to intersperse (big word that) this verbal diarrhea with some pics of flowers to bring out your feminine side along with the usual pics..please don't turn off your set yet.
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first one..
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i took all these flowers/green garden crap photos in Italy on holidays...i haven't a baldy what they are....what they are called or exactly which field i found them in.
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being a paddy i go into a lot of fields...it's a genetic thing....i like to be near nature......not a gay thing, just a paddy thing...
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anyway just to recap..i had full authority to behave as I pleased from the minister for war (!)....not really...but she loves me and is my best friend ever !
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i think i passed one pass...!!!?....it was only a blip and there was a town built round it......memory not great..onward to Steinegg which I got to by about 8 pm or
shortly thereafter....it was dark...very cold.....icy.......and I had read about this place/palace (typo !) and it got great reviews.......mudderfugger.......!!
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parked the horsie....into reception (me, not the horsie)......strange...everything is in german.......WTF.....did i take a wrong turn ?.....wir haben ein zimmer and all that jazz...ok...just go with die flowen here....plenty of zimmers....got taken down, way down (i do mean way way down) to a zimmer at the bottom of the world...the floor was
warm....(it was that far down !)...and i was left there standing in die dark...inside it was like going to the 70's (i haven't really been to the 70's only as a bairn)...
...it was as damp as a mushrooms knob......musty....shit hole......i thought f**k this crappen hole...but........where else could i go now.......i had stepped back to the 70's and landed in Germany....better ease up on the drugs soon...!!

flowery filler..
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i should have known something was wrong and that i hadn't been through a time warp on the way over the mountains......the room/zimmer and - wait for it - 5 course
dinner and breakfast was a staggering 45 euros......!!!........
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ok......go get some food....by now it was 9 pm.....i was malafustered with hunger....back up up up up and into the dining room...it was full/voll.......of Germans...!!!!...
.....i setzen'ed myself and over comes the waitress......nice........the whole thing of course was in German......f**k........just with the flow...alles ist gut.
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picture this...i walked into the dining room in full black leathers...plain black....black leather boots....and my trousers were very very loose from the ass to the knees..!!
.....as i walked to mein table the other diners smiled and some even said 'jus' or hi........i felt like i was in a film from the second world war.....as gestapo...it was surreal...back to the 70's.....no it was back to the 40's....!!!
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sauerkraut....wurst.....all of it inedible......5 courses of utter rubbish........but i felt pressured to eat it as people were staring at me....!!...i just smiled and waved...
just smiled and waved (penguins huh).
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waffling a bit here as i had no photos taken until next day....
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off to bed....just to further my belief of having time travelled..there was no phone signal..as handheld phones had not yet been invented...dumbkopf
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next morgen...back up up up to the dining room fur mein fruhstuck....man, the food was brutal.....while mid-crunch a woman appeared at my side and shouted at
me....dein passport...or something like this....what.......passport - now...she roared.........relax woman..i said to myself.....!!
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i thought maybe she was a guest who had been out on day release from the mental hospital so i tried to ignore her...but she just got freakin louder...so up i get...
back down down down to my cell and get my f**kin passport and up up i bring it to her...muttering nasty things under mein breath.....!!
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then she says to me 'how many day's ?' .......!!! i was so in fear of being lynched by now i said 3 days/drei tage (asshole mistake or what ?)
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she kept my bloody passport, so now i was doomed to be gang raped in my own cell deep underground and it would all happen many decades in the past.....mother of jesus do i get into some really f**kin
stupid situations...and this one hadn't even taken 24 hours from leaving home.
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i go outside to ponder my latest screw up....i can't stay here another minute let alone 3 more days...so i go down to pack up my sh*t and deep breath....i head into
the gestapo headquarters/reception area again and try to explain that i have to leave immediately....i think i may have said i was neeeded in Berlin...!!
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no intention here of insulting anyone from any country..it was all me and my screw up totally.....i am a pure cast iron 100 % numpty...!!
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eventually......she threw my passport back at me in disgust, and I left without a backward glance.....!

in fairness the place looked very nice from the outside
and I am sure it had nice rooms...but mine was the worst ever....picture the worst place you ever stayed in and then multiply it by a zillion.
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this is the place - yeah i know what you're thinkin...looks nice.....yeah real nice...go ahead mister...go stay there....
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