I have great sympathy for such a chronic problem. Once 40 years ago as a 17 year old, I was riding across a bridge with a steel superstructure and had the terrifyingly real impression that the bridge rotated 90 degrees and I was riding on the side like a wall of death for about 10 seconds. I just held everything steady and it came back but panic was not far behind. Never another problem, mever understood what happened. Very dream like.
Many on this board suffer from manures disease but that is a different problem :)