I think the most stupid questions I've heard have come from some of the imbeciles in the office where I work. I guess that it isn't really surprising that in a day and age of people in general seeming to recognize few boundaries and respecting even fewer that any personal article brought into the workplace becomes a de facto
show-and-tell item, but I have noticed that in particular that motorcycle gear really seems to fascinate hoi polloi
everywhere. With few people in my office riding these days (most who did have retired or been RIFed), that means that every knuckle-dragging, curious dolt who happens to pass by my office seems to feel compelled to squeeze the armor in the sleeves of my jacket like a roll of Charmin, all the while gaping in wide-eyed astonishment to ask "Whutz in that sleeve? Whyz it feel so funny?". A couple of them have even put it on without bothering to ask if it were okay.
I have learned to keep a straight face through my conniptions.
Mostly recently, the galoot who just moved into the cube next to me strolled in with his bag of microwave popcorn and despite my telling him repeatedly that I was about to join a teleconference in which I had to present to several people at multiple pay grades above me, even as I was putting my headset on and going off mute this dumbass reached over my head to take my helmet off the shelf over me, turning it over and over and fiddling with the visor release while babbling something like "How much duz somethin' like this cawst?" I had to remind myself that a rather large audience would have have heard me if I had voiced the first thing that came to mind, which was something like "Every drop of blood in your stupid body if you drop it." I felt a strong urge to beat the hell out of him, but pity stayed my hand. "It's a pity that there are so many potential witnesses around here," I thought to myself. Of course, riding home in the drizzling rain, I thought of him often, specifically everytime the glare of oncoming headlights hit the greasy smear he left with his grubby palm.