As always when riding offroad, I hated pretty much every second of it. It is on those rides that I fantasize about trading my bike in for a vehicle with four wheels, and make plans to find other riders for Phil to go on offroad adventures with while I stick to the tarmac. I feel tremendous pressure to go with Phil because he loves it so much, and I don't want to leave him to go on his own with no support if something goes wrong. Still I find it impossible to convince myself that I'll enjoy off-roading one day if I just keep doing it.
Isn't it enough that I'm riding my own motorbike across two continents? Most women wouldn't even consider doing that. Do I really have to love offroad as well?
I've thought about this issue a lot. When we were riding up to, and in, Alaska, we rode on a lot of unpaved roads (the Top of The World Highway comes to mind). When I was riding those roads I didn't hate it, I didn't panic, I didn't get worried, and shaky and miserable. It's only since after The Crash
that I've had those problems. And I wasn't even driving when we crashed.
I think it's possible, likely even, that having a concussion, and no memory of nearly a whole day of my life has caused me to intensely dislike riding roads in bad condition. It first surfaced in Arizona, where I nearly ran over another motorcyclist's head on the Oso Road, and it has been an issue ever since.
It's not that I don't have the knowledge and skills to navigate these roads, I've taken lessons, and I usually get over the rough sections unharmed. I just simply do not enjoy the process, and have no desire to put myself through it.
I think it's like people who are scared of heights, they know they will be fine, but they panic anyways.
I don't know how things are going to progress on this front. I'm not doing this trip to be miserable, but I also have no desire to hold Phil back. I certainly will be taking the paved route whenever there is one, and hope to find other riders to go with Phil on offroad adventures when the opportunity arises. We'll work something out.