i have been looking for a new wife for quite some time. and after cruising the bars one night I got drunk and met a stripper. i fell deeply in love with her. i had seen her before but she lacked in certain areas and was a little rough around the edges. in 2013 she went to rehab and also had really nice implants installed. boy o' boy was she looking hot! i told her that i wanted her to be my wife. she told me to give her family a dowry and give her some time to think about it. how much time do you need honey? she said about 4 months. i thought this was reasonable so i agreed to this idea because i just had to have her. i couldn't wait for the honeymoon.
i gave her family the dowry and found out that they were really dysfunctional. the more a got to know them the worst it got. i thought she was raised right and from a good family. her family lied about everything just so i would marry her. turns out she was a prostitute and doing everybody just to get a fix. her front end was loose from the surgery, someone got hurt while banging her, and she makes all kinds of noises, she clunks and grinds like hell, and she is not really not that good in the sack. and you know what they told me? not to worry. why worry her friends told me the same thing. go figure.
so here i am about 8 months later and 2 weeks from the church. her dad finds out that the farkles for the wedding are unavailable and he forgot to to order them. what no farkles? he said yep no farkles they are backordered. i have been meditating for quite some but no available farkles for a wedding is really pushing my limits of sanity. her dad also said that the church hadn't called back yet about the booking and we might have a problem with getting married as well. talk about pain. with the way she looks we are talking major blue balls. ugh! god help me please! i tried contacting her grandfather in Germany for some help and he never called me back.
so i am telling all this to my friends and they can't believe it. why bother with this bitch they said. there are so many nice girls out there and that i deserve better than this. my one friend's wife is Italian and she is a babe. he says she has a twin sister that wants to meet me. so i agree to go to a local show where she is performing and meet with her. wow what a body! she was well put together! and boy can she dance. i thinks she works out a lot. her make up was red and i didn't really care for that but she was hot in her own special way. so we get to talking and her personality is amazing. i said are you available if i want to marry you? she said yes! no kidding? no kidding! her family was chaperoning our date and suggested that i take her home with me. what so soon? yep we are sure your the guy she has been waiting for. are you guys ok if i just what to test her out in the sack? yes absolutely. you 2 go bang now her dad says. off we go to her house for some fun. so i get to house and can't wait to ride her. so i get on top of her. nice, gentle, smooth but man o'man is she strong and knows exactly what i like to do. wow!!!!!!!!!!!! forget waiting for that german whore. she's not worth it. i want this bombshell instead.
so i go back to her dad and tell him to set the wedding. when can we get married? he says next week would work just fine. what about the farkles and booking the church? he says he already has all the farkles in his house just in case some guy comes along that likes that kind of thing. wow! her family has there shit together and she rocks my world. i will be getting hitched next week after we change her red makeup and give her some really good farkles. her family seems really nice and fully supports the both of us on our journey. i feel really blessed. i want you all to feel free to attend the ceremony next week. all are welcome!
arrivederci buon amicos