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Old 08-15-2013, 08:50 PM   #27
majorhavoc
Adventurer
 
Joined: May 2013
Location: Southern Maine
Oddometer: 96
Me: 19 year old, snotty-nosed spoiled college brat who in the mid 1980's found himself volunteering for Lutheran World Relief on a rural development project in northern Kenya.

Project manager: We got 400 square miles of grassland, kid. We need you to do a livestock census and tell us how many sheep, goats and camels are grazing this highland reserve. Here's a map, a compass, a pair of binoculars and an off-road motorcycle. Stay away from the ravines around dusk because that's when the lions come out to hunt.

Me: Great! Just one problem; I don't know how to ride a motorcycle.

PM: Do you know how to ride a bike, kid?

Me: Yeah, well sure ......

PM: Same damn thing. Here's your throttle, that's your clutch and the brakes are here and here. See that little foot lever? That's your shifter. One down is 1st, then one click up is 2nd, then 3rd, 4th and 5th. Neutral is between 1st and 2nd.

Me: Yeah, but -

PM: We got a 4000' dirt airstrip out back. Why don't you run through the gears for a few minutes and then get started; you're gonna be at this for at least a week. Oh yeah, if you're in tall grass, stay on the bike, because that's where the puff adders are. The cobras will get out of your way if you're walkin' but the puff adders will just lay there and strike.

Me: But the whole 400 square miles is all grassland.....

PM: Try to be back before it gets dark!
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