Two options I see as simple and effective:
#1. Accept responsibility for your actions and don't try to blame "johnny law" for your mistakes and the consequences of your actions. The lessons learned the hardest last the longest
#2. Go ahead and kill yourself since the thought of taking responsibility for your actions is making you "borderline suicidal".
I would recommend #1 as the best choice, but that's up to you.
After taking responsibility for your actions; if you feel the law itself is unjust then stop blaming the cops (they don't actually make the laws you know) and start writing letters to the legislators who actually do make the laws. Maybe you can convince a legislator that the law is unjust and get it changed so in the future you can ride like you want without having to worry about Johnny Law