The SMIB Thread.......Where fecal (doesn't) matter.

From the wife........ Southern Maryland Icky Bikers

Some More idiot bastards

Scotty are your writing these down... mica and HBN are having way too much fun. I like it!

6USMC6 too...

There's your tee shirt front!

All of the slogans, running from neck to.....

I like it!

How could it not be Ignorant Bastards?

I was thinking the same thing. Then I don't need to hire a women to pose like this...

Front page is Fixed

That club never responded back after I sent a sample of the shirt.

Any of this true?



"You know you are in Calvert County when:
you see hairstyles you haven't seen since the 70's.

you see ugly wishing wells on people's front lawns to cover a less-ugly septic cap.

you know people who honestly believe that beer out of a 10 oz. can is BETTER than beer in a 12 oz can.

you see that pickup trucks outnumber cars by 2 to 1.

you get so used to the putrid smell coming from the Lusby landfill (410-326-0210) that you hardly notice it anymore.

when you ask your kid what they did in school today, they reply "we watched the movie Flubber!" Does anyone else care that their tax dollars go for entertaining children in schools rather than educating them?

you realize that people don't know that in the rest of the free world, the LEFT lane is considering the passing lane. If you don't know what that means, maybe I need to explain it to you. If you are driving in the LEFT lane, you should be going A LOT faster than the cars in the RIGHT lane. Got it? Also, if you need to make a left hand turn, you don't need to get into the left lane 10 miles before the turn-off, ok?

when someone says they are going "up the road" you know what road they are talking about.

a new Food Lion store opens and they shine a huge spotlight at night, as if it's the premier of a blockbuster movie in Hollywood. Hollywood, California that is....not to be confused with Hollywood, Maryland. In case you don't know where Hollywood, Maryland is - it's up the road from California, Maryland.

every household has all the necessary condiments in the kitchen: salt, pepper and Old Bay seasoning (perhaps in a gallon size jug bought from a warehouse store).

when flipping past the local cable access television station, you see that they are still advertising "Breakfast with Santa" with a November reservation deadline (and it's currently February).

you've laughed at the Mattress Mart Mascot and wondered how much money he makes to wear a mattress costume every weekend and wave to people on Route 4.

after a while, you are able to correctly identify SMIBs when you see them.

you can tell the socioeconomic status of your neighbors by looking at the appliances they throw out in their front yard...almond for classier people, white or avocado colored appliances for the less fortunate.

during deer hunting season, your neighbors hang a dead deer from the tree in their front yard and they think there's nothing wrong with that (it happened to me!!!!) I live in a residental neighborhood, not in the boonies.

you start thinking that Taco Bell is real authentic mexican food. Restauranteurs...I beg you...please....yo quiero Taco Bell, but we need a decent mexican restaurant!!!

a night out on the town involves going to a Wal-Mart (if the Tiki Bar is closed for the winter).

your county commissioners in the early 1990's enacted a "cat leash law" but vote AGAINST making it mandatory for people to provide suitable shelter for dogs that live outdoors!

A bit of advice for people moving into this area...your move here will be less traumatic if now you start weaning yourself off of going to the mall to hang out and to shop. The nearest real mall is 45 miles up the road!!

Think I am being unfair to Calvert? No problem, just let me know where your "I love Calvert County" webpage is at, ok?"


Hey, I don't write 'em...

I just updated my charity blog.

That about sums it up.......OBTW it's pronounced "Culvert" Co

This will take me awhile

500 SMIB decals sounds about right...you know how many attempts it's going to take for us SMIBs to get those things aligned right???

Arrrgghh...I thought I was only an "honorary" SMIB being a transplant...but I actually know what all those things are talking about...

and based on an interesting movie....


Southern Maryland Inglorious Bastards


Do I need to duck again?????

...only took me three but I'm a transplant... then then there were 497.

It's been 50 years since I escaped....

.... but I still remember 'em all too.

.

I rest my case....Scott hasn't tried putting his on yet has he???

(yeah yeah Scott, I know..see post #1547)

SMIB Love Poem<!-- google_ad_section_end --> <NOINDEX><HR style="COLOR: #e5e5cc" SIZE=1></NOINDEX><!-- google_ad_section_start -->Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue

and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.

Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.

Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;

I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,

well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,

what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,

to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,

you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,

my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.

despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,

we go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day

from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.

Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,

more useful than diamonds...... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!<!-- google_ad_section_end -->
<NOINDEX>__________________
<!-- google_ad_section_start(weight=ignore) -->Some people are alive today, simply because it's illegal to shoot them<!-- google_ad_section_end -->