Stupid questions people ask you when stopped

Toll gate attendant at the TZB last night, as I pull up on the Tiger w/dual headlights and Piaa auxiliaries; "Why doesn't your bike have amber lights in front?"
Me-"What?"
Him- "Amber lights. You don't have any amber lights."
Me- "I don't know."
Him- "Think about it."
Me-"Umm,ok." As I pulled away he yells out "Amber lights!"

:huh

Well of course he did. Amber headlights were mandatory on cars in France until the '80s. That's why.

He meant "amber lamps."

If'n you go on riding that dangerous moorsickle, you'll need to call the amber lamps.

From this.

nicely done, haven't heard that one in a while.

I never saw that before. Old beard-man really put the smack-down on that guy!

He's lucky he needed amber lamps and not a mo-tishun, that old guy was serious.

^ cool vid, Santa Clause can kick some ass!

I had a (kinda) stupid question last week. I was starting a week+ long DS trip, but the first 300 miles was all highway to meet with a friend in Boise. I went to a bike shop to grab a couple spares for the trip, but my KLR was waaay overloaded with extra luggage on the back for my buddy, a fresh front I was going to spoon on that afternoon before we headed out for the real trip, plus my large home made soft panniers that were loaded for 10 days of bike camping, with tent and pad strapped to the top of them. And the usual KLR tool tube and tank bag. A guy in the parking lot in a cage with wife and kids wanted to shoot the breeze while I was getting ready to head out. Talked about the KLR he used to have etc.

He asked, "Do you live off that bike?"

I kindly explained I was carrying a bunch of extra shit for my gear poor friends bike, was on my first day of a trip, and was mounting the tire that afternoon.

Considering my homeless looking beard, my ugly, beat to shit, faded to pink KLR, with about 75 lbs of extra shit tied on, I thought the question wasn't too stupid, but it made me chuckle.

Little did he know that if I had no family to support, I WOULD live off the bike

Classic!

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You ever had a whole platoon of MPs under your command? This is typical until they make E7, then the light switch seems to come on...

I have to say my favorite one with an MP did not involve a motorcycle.

I was at Fort Carson and heading to the Company one morning from the BOQ. It was cold and there was ice on the road. I was driving my old Saab 99 with studded snows on all four. Came to a stop sign at a T intersection. Looked both ways. Saw the MP car coming from the right but I had plenty of room so I pulled out to the left.

Next thing I know he lit up so I pulled over. Unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and slid off the road down an embankment, about 10 feet, to the right. I got out of the car looked over the side of the embankment and asked him if he was OK. He said "Yes, sir. But, sir, it's icy out here and you've got to be more careful!"

Riding with a group on my new R1200R. We were not into triple digit speeds but every corner was a hole shot. Guy behind me on a 600 says "your bike has a lot of torque" I just smiled and said thank you. He could not catch me every time.

Sent from the phone in my shoe. Maxwell Smart.

hahaha. That's the definition of a retard.

Recently at lunch, I was walking back to the Bandit from a restaurant. A guy in a lifted F-150 pulls up next to me before I get on the bike and asks if I'm about to leave. The parking lot is pretty small for this place, and crowded during lunch. I respond in the affirmative. He turns to his passenger and says, purposefully loud enough for me to hear, "I hate how all these m*f'n motorcyclists think they own the roads, now they're even taking up our f*n parking spaces."

I yell over, "Where else to you expect me to park?! They don't have designated motorcycle spots here." "Well, you coulda parked on the f*n sidewalk!"

Not wanting to continue the downward-spiralling exchange, I resumed my leaving of the lot: I put on my helmet and gloves, started the bike, decided now was a good time to organize the trunk, shut the bike off, took off my helmet and gloves, messed around in the Givi case a bit, re-dressed, started the bike, decided to listen to some tunes, so took the helmet off, pulled out my phone, checked my email, looked for some music, put in my earphones, helmet back on, and slowly continue on my way. All told, probably added only 3 minutes to my departure, but 3 minutes is an awful long time to be an angry redneck waiting on a parking spot.

You have more patience than me...

Dinner at texas roadhouse last night
Rode the 525. Since I was going through the city, I knew I could hop in the HOV lane and blast past all the slow cages through town, and I'd much rather be on the bike than in the truck.
Get to TR, buddy just pulled in. Lock up the bike, helmet in hand, jacket, boots, etc.
Table's ready about 10 minutes later, gal seating us nods at my helmet, "You ride? Crotch rocket?"
I laugh, "No, dirt bike." That kinda jammed her thought process....
"Like ... street bike?"
"No, like dirt bike. Covered in mud, bumpy tires... dirt bike."
"Oh..."

I still don't think it sunk in all the way.

Was she cute? If so, you fucked up.

I've done that before when someone wanted to be an idiot. The person actually got tired of waiting and went looking for another spot literally seconds before I pulled out. Oh well, maybe next time they'll be nicer

What? So he can bitch about a bike parked on the sidewalk? What a douche. Well played, Draechon.

Ha ha! I cussed a motorcycle in a parking lot today, but only because I couldn't see the bike and I thought the space was open.

Did just that yesterday