Three Amigos and 2-D DeWayne South of the Border

In the interest of artistic expression, all rules prohibiting full frontal nudity will be suspended for this thread.



Now that I have your attention.

Kenny (Kennyanc) and I have been plotting our return to Mexico since we crossed the border last year. This trip would include Chris (Poodleshooter), and DeWayne (NCbub). Chris, on a ZRX, and I would be doing the paved route, Kenny, on a KLR, and DeWayne would do dirt roads. We would meet up each night at a hotel.
These plans were going well until DeWayne bailed on us, citing family obligations. Personally, I think he had a yeast infection.
DeWayne:


Not to be denied his presence, we improvised with 2-D DeWayne. Here he is checking out the GS:





Although less entertaining than the 3D version, the 2D version proofed to be a lot less irritating.

We loaded the bikes on a trailer in KC to drive to Mesa AZ and begin our trip there. DeWayne took the first turn at the wheel, but after two hours still had not made it out of the driveway.




So, I took the wheel and drove the next twenty hours.
We arrived in Mesa, unloaded, and left the trailer at Chris' parents house.
Finally we're on two wheels.
But, it turned out not to be such a good thing.



Interstate 10 is closed and all traffic is routed through the city! Sh*t.
The temp was over a 100 and the asphalt was about 130. At this point Chris began to question his decision to wear black leather to Baja. Universities will not engage in a bidding war for the rights to his brain.

After an hour of this we were on our way across the desert to Palm Springs; our stop for the night. But Wait! Kennys Lunar Rover begins surging and won't sustain a speed of over 50MPH.
On a road where most are doing 85, 50 can make you real nervous. At one point Morgan Freeman blasted by us with Miss Daisy in the back. Semis closed on me so fast, I thought they might as well check for polyps while they were up there.
We stop several times to let the KLR catch its breath and get out the heat.




Chris wondered if the surging problem had anything to do with him pissing in Kennys tank. I assured him those KLRs can run on anything.

We limp into Palm Springs and Kenny proceeds to dismantle the KLR in the driveway of Casa Dick.




Please add your own caption to the picture above. It's just too easy.

After a great dinner, we retired with dreams of Mexico dancing in out head:



More to come. With fewer pictures of DeWayne, I promise

BAJA, ready or not, here I come!!!

I had the KLR loaded in the back of the truck and pulled out of Asheville at about 2:30pm on Thursday. 875 miles later I was in KC ringing Dicks doorbell. I don't think he liked getting his ass out of bed at 2:00am but I piled on into my bed at Casa de Dick and was soon fast asleep.

I jumped out of bed at about 6:30 ready to head west. After a great breakfast cooked by Dick and and Nanette, Chris and I headed up to Motorcycle Closeouts to find me some cool weather gloves.

Back at Casa de Dick, bikes loaded in the trailer, we pointed west. We drove until we were almost out of gas before Dick found a gas station he could live with. WTF's with that. We're headed to MX and he's worried about the sketchy looks of the gas stations in Kansas. We put 32.2 gallons of gas in a 32 gallon tank.

Despite several offers to relieve him in the drivers seat, Dick kept hold of the wheel all the way to Phoenix. I don't think he trusted me with his vehicle.

Unloaded the bikes in PHX and jumped on the Interstate to make some time. NOT!!! They had all 4 lanes of Westbound I-10 routed through the city. Less than an hour into our trip we were sitting still on I-10 in 95 degree heat.



We finally get moving and my KLR starts to misfire. At first I thought it was the wind but soon realized different. At times I was running WOT and only going 65 MPH. Not only was it frustrating as hell it was also dangerous. Cars were blasting by me at about 90mph. I drained the float bowl at a rest stop but it still didn't help.

THIS WAS NOT THE WAY I WANTED TO START MY BAJA/MX TRIP!!!!

After several hours of stifling heat and frustration we made it Casa de Dick in Palm Desert where I proceded to dismantle my KLR. No compassion from these FF's as they roamed around and snapped pic's.



I removed the tank and emptied it's contents into a bucket looking for water, trash, paper, or anything else that might be causing the stuttering.

A quick trip to Autozone where I purchased some Sea Foam. Some damn amazing stuff If I do say so myself. I don't know if it was the flush or the Sea Foam but my bike never missed a lick the rest of the trip.

Tomorrow we cross the border into Baja. Damn, I can't wait.

Next day we're all rested, bikes running well, and we're ready for Mexico. But first, I thought the guys might enjoy a detour up one of SoCals famous sport bike roads. Highway 74.








Chris got a stiffy just reading the sign.


A view of the valley from half way up:




We rode up to 6000ft and down below sea level. Through Anza, down Montezuma into Borego Springs, along the Salton Sea, and on to Mexicali.
We did make one stop at McDonalds for our last American food for two weeks. What better way to go out?


The border crossing at Mexicali took almost two hours. It seems Kenny nor I can spell our first names correctly. It took all kinds of special forms and procedures for us to clear. Kenny has some pictures of a strange guy working at the customs office which may account for the delays.

And of course Chris gets stopped for inspection crossing the border, which starts a trend that would continue for the entire trip. Kenny and I fly through all checkpoints and Chris gets stripped searched.

On to San Felipe. This trip is a good introduction for those who have never been to Baja before. It's kind of a gentle transition from Southern California to Mexico.
We stop at La Ventana, the goat farm, to rehydrate. Chris says he has the best peach he has ever eaten in his whole life.




Funny thing about the "goat farm"; there are no more goats. They were here last time I stopped. I wonder where they went.
On to San Felipe and the El Cortez. Great place to stay in this town. Nice views, pool, good bar, good rooms.






A swim in the pool, then downtown to "Rice and Bean" for some fish tacos.

DeWayne wanted to play in the sand:


DeWayne really likes the sand




Sunrise at San Felipe:



Today: Bahia de los Angeles

Up and at 'em folks!

We're on our way to Baja!!

We roll out about 7:00am and get ready to ride. Dick's gotta have one more cig.



Ready to leave Casa de Dick.


I thought we were heading straight to the border but Dick has different ideas. We leave Palm Desert and head up Hwy 74. What a great road!! It is all I can do to keep up going up the mountain but it was a blast. Chris and Dick are great riders and were smoking my ass in the twisties.

We stopped at an overlook and look who joined us there! Great to see you Dewayne.




On through some great twisties and on towards the border. We pass the Salton Sea and the GPS says we are more than 100' below sea level. It eventually showed about -200' but I didn't get a pic.



A quick stop at Mickey D's for some lunch and we cross the border.

After a couple of hours of the Mexico Border Crossing Polka....

Ya put ya left foot in.
Ya put ya left foot out.
Ya put ya left foot in.
And ya shake it all about.

Ya do the Border Polka
and you turn yourself around
.... well.... you get the picture.




Look who happened to be working the counter!! No wonder it was such a Cluster


We finally cleared the border and headed south for San Felipe. Finally we were in Baja!! Yaaaa Hoooo!!

We rolled into San Felipe about 4:00pm and got checked into the El Cortez. Great little hotel.



Chris and Dick relaxing by the pool

Fish Tacos at Rice & Beans
Mmmm, Mmmm, Goooood.


Early the next morning.


Sunrise in San Felipe



Morning Coffee... Me, Dick, and Chris...



Chris soaking up the sunrise.





I parted ways with Dick and Chris after breakfast. They were taking the long(paved) way back up through Ensenada and back down MX1 to Bahia De Los Angeles.

I was taking the dirt road.... south to Puertocitos, Gonzaga bay, Coco'a Corner, and on to Bahia de L.A.

Buen Viaje Mis Amigos



-----more tomorrow-----

So far I've pissed myself twice laughing. :huh







Thanks for taking me to Mexico with you crazy F***ers, all I want to know is did I get LAID???



Please say yes, please!

I guess you were too drunk to recall. You were pretty messed up a couple of times.

Then a couple of times you were laying around with your head in the sand and didn't have clue what was going on.

I ain't talkin' though.

To get to Bahia de los Angeles from San Felipe on paved roads you must backtrack north before heading west to Ensenada. In all we did 490 miles and most were very interesting. While passing through Valle Trinidad we met up with four guys on dirt bikes fixing a flat at the gas station. Are you guys out there? It was nice talking to you.
At Ensenada we get lost, sort of. Kenny has been our intrepreter for this trip and we needed him now to ask directions. But with the seven words of Spanish I know and the three Chris knows we got directions out of town.
One of Chris' words is "lemonada". Big help.
South of Ensenada Chris gets his usual body cavity search while I have a smoke.



We weave down the Pacific side for awhile and enjoy cool weather, great scenery, and some twisty roads. It becomes hard to keep a good pace because of all the small towns we going through and topes we are going over.
We stop for a late lunch at Mama Espinozas in El Rosario - The best fish tacos in Baja.




One of the highlights of the day for Chris was buying gas out of the back of a pickup truck. His safe range on the ZRX was 160 miles. The GS was safe for about 200 miles, so I passed on this option.
Gasolina Catavina:




The boulder forest:



There was a chance we would meet Kenny at the Chapala junction. He was taking the dirt route via Gonzaga and Coco's Corner. The plan was for whoever got there first to put up some surveyors tape at the corner and tie knots in it. One knot for each hour of time.
We had been busting ass all day, but the sun was getting low when we got to the junction. Damn! There was the tape and there were two knots in it. Kenny got here like four hours ahead of us.
We gassed it, made the turn east at the BdlA junction, and tried to make the Bay before dark.
It wasn't going to happen. The sun was completely down and we still had another 15 miles to go. The rule about riding after dark became very evident.
I swear this a true story: We were in the curvy, hilly section just before the bay and closed quickly on a pickup truck running with no lights. If that weren't enough; it was weaving badly over the road. As we passed it we realized the reason for the weaving. There was a full size horse in the back of a mini-pickup rocking side to side.
We make it. If you ever visit Bahia de los Angeles, stay at the Costa del Sol. Great rooms, great food, secure parking right outside your room.









A note of warning; if you try to leave the table without paying the dog will see that you do. Just ask Chris.







The Bay of LA




We did meet Kenny that night. He hooked up with some dirt riders on the way. By the time we got there he had already had dinner and drinks with his new friends. But I'll let him tell the story.
Tommorow; San Ignacio

"Thanks for taking me to Mexico with you crazy F***ers, all I want to know is did I get LAID???"


I don't know about getting laid; but several people sat on your face.

I hope Kenny's riding skills were better than his posting talent.

More
More

Kennyyyyyyy....where are you?

We need your report to Gonzaga and Cocos.

Just got home. I had to go down to SC last night and I just got back. I'm working on it.

Dick, are you not getting your voice mail?

Dick and Chris were going to take the long way to Bay of L.A. by way of Ensenada. I gassed up the PEMEX at the circle and headed south.

I had heard the road going south from San Felipe described as broken pavement held together by potholes. I was in for a pleasant surprise. There was new pavement to within 5 miles of Puertecitos.


I never did figure out this roadsign.


The pavement ended at Puertecitos and the fantastic views began. The views of the Sea of Cortez are simply beautiful.


After about 5 miles the road turns slightly inland and begins the climb over The Three Sisters.



It isn't very steep or difficult now but the old road must have been a real b*tch. You can see parts of it to the left.


Look at how steep the old road on the left is compared to the new road on the right.





This had to be some of the worst washboard I have ever seen. I tried everything in the world to smooth out the ride a little but nothing helped much. You could either ride 10-15mph and be out here for days, 30-40 mph and get beat to death or run 55 mph and skip over the tip of the bumps. The only problem with 55 was coming around a curve to find a deep sand wash covering the road. I would grab a handfull of brakes and try to get slowed down some before hitting them. As I hit the sand I just rolled on the gas and tryed to make it to the other side upright. I never dropped it in the sand but I did have several really close calls.

The wash board was so bad that I jumped off the main road and ran along on the sandy trails along side a few times. That was ok as long as the sand wasn't too deep but a couple times I thought I was going down. Once I was riding along at about 30 mph in sand about 2-3 inches deep when I crested a hill and the road/trail went to sh*t. It split into about 3-4 trails, all of which had nothing but +6 inches of loose sand. Before I could get stopped I was already over the top and I didn't think I could get turned around to go back the way I came. Luckily the sandy trails ran back into the main road at the bottom of the hill. I eased my way down and back on terra firma.



I just couldn't get enough of the views of the Sea of Cortez.








I reach the turn off to Gonzaga Bay and gas up at the PEMEX. A rumbling in my gut reminds me I haven't had anything to eat today so I head over to Alphonsina's.



Some of the best fish tacos I have ever had.


I could spend a few days here.


I leave Gonzaga Bay and head out across the desert. I had been told that the road from there to Coco's was in really bad shape. After all the washboard in the morning I thought this road was a piece of cake. Very little washboard and I was running 50-60 mph.




Another road sign.


I was buzzing along having the time of my life when all of a sudden, 40 miles from a paved road in either direction I ran up on this little stretch of
blacktop. WTF!! About a hundred yards and it's back to dirt.


There were a few spots where the road was a little rough.




But for the most part it was smooth sailing. I saw a little cluster of civilization in the distance and knew it had to be Coco's.


----more in a bit---

Excellent so far, guys! Good meeting you in Creel, and Kenny, good seeing you again. We gotta ride sometime. And 2D dewayne- you're so much more handsomer than 3D Dewayne!

I had read so much about Coco and seen so many pictures of his place I felt like I had already been there before. Before I could get in the door Coco handed me an ice cold Pacifico. We talked for a few minutes and he headed out to put one of his famous stickers on my bike. I had been saving a spot right up front for it. Looks great doesn't it?


It was great to get meet Coco and sign his book.






While I was there 3 guys on bikes and one on a quad come rolling in. They were also headed to Bay of L.A.

Jimmy, Ric and Coco.



I headed on towards the pavement.






I made it to the pavement and left my signal for Dick and Chris. A piece of surveyors tape tied to the sign with 3 knots in it to tell them I came though about 3:00.


A few minutes later Ric, Stratton, Steve, and Jimmy showed up.


They gassed up their bikes and we all headed to Bay of L.A. together.


That Ric is just about fuggin' crazy. He was blasting down the pavement on that quad at about 70mph. He's got a bigger set than I do.


At one point Jimmy vears off the pavement and jumps on a dirt track parallel to the main road. We were running 60-70 mph and he was leaving us behind.


Bahia de Los Angeles in the distance




I got checked in at the Costa del Sol and hitched a ride down to Guillermo's to meet Ric, Stratton, Jimmy, and Steve for dinner. Had a great evening with them but unfortunately, none of my pic's turned out. The fresh caught Dorado was excellent.

Dick and Chris finally rolled in about 7:00pm.



---Tomorrow, San Ignacio.---

Kenny, it looks like you guys had a great time!

I'm glad Dewayne got to tag along.

Kenny, those little red x's are real pretty?

After a great breakfast at Costa del Sol we pack up and head for San Ignacio. Another plug for this place: if you ever go to the Bay of LA, this is the place to stay.
Today would be new territory for all of us, as I had never been south of here and Kenny and Chris had never been to Baja at all.
Kenny decides he has had enough dirt for a while and stays with us on the pavement today. 2-D is strangely non-commital.
Crossing back over to the Pacific side the weather stays cool and the progress is swift. One photo op on my itenerary is the giant eagle in Gurrero Negro, the demarcation between North and South Baja. For some reason the Government has decided to make this place a military installation,
complete with steel fence. It wasn't possibel to get within 50 yards so this is the best picture I could get



Of course there is a military checkpoint here; and of course Kenny and I breeze through; and of course Chris gets stopped and asked for his papers while Kenny and I wait down the road. The guard asks him if his buddies have their papers. Chris tells him " hell no, but they have guns and drugs". The guard waves at us, and we wave back, and gas it.
That Chris; he's quite the kidder.
As we get farther south, it gets hotter, so we make the requisite stop at a roadside stand to cool off.




Why do these places always have dogs? I really want one of those Mexican dogs. They seem to capsulize the essence of Mexico; simple, friendly, and layed back.
Baja is beginning to look strange. The recent storms have turned the desert from sandy brown to grass green. Even the mountains have turned from black to dark green. This is probably a once in a lifetime occurence and I'm glad I got to see it.
We arrive at our destination for the night:




Befor we left for this trip, I told Chris we were going to stay in a yurt. He thought it was some kind of Mexican spa treatment.
A yurt:



Inside our Yurt:





Kenny about to enter the yurt. I told him it was a "moon walk" so, he put on the outfit he got at the NASA surplus store.



This bed and breakfast is owned by a Canadian couple, Terry and Gary, and built on the banks of a spring fed river. The river is usually clear, but the recent floods have temporarily turned it brown. It's still cool though. A great place to swim.





After the easy days ride, we swim, clean up, and head to town for the action. Action? If this town were any sleepier, it would be in a coma.
It is a charming little town. Complete with town square and historical mission built in the 1700's. While checking out the mission, the Padre comes out to talk to us. Seems he has written a book, complete with pictures, about the early missions of Mexico. Chris buys one hoping to redeem himself for a misspent youth.







Maybe Kenny has a picture of the town square. My memory card has eaten a lot of my pictures.

Had a great dinner just off the square and made an early night of it.
This is a "bed and breakfast", so the next morning Terry fixed all the guests a great breakfast alfresco. To our surprise 2-D DeWayne showed up.
He's sporting a rather girlish figure this morning; don't you think?



Today we're off to Loreto. At one time we had planned to spend some time in Mulege, but the floods changed all that. More on this later