When installing electric fence connections with wing nuts (two handed method) make certain next door neighbor assistant waits until task is completed before plugging in high voltage transformer.
When installing Volvo alloy wheels, be sure to have the rotional wheel locator in the recess in the wheel. These G_DA_M wheels only fit on in one rotational way. There is a pin on the rotor lug face that locates the wheel. If you fall asleep at the wheel during installation and tighten the wheel lugs, the pin will punch a nice hole in the wheel.
Note to self: constantly consider shutting the f up (to self). Removing a battery from a Porsche resets the radio and will not function until you get the 'code' to enter. 1year of no tunes thus far. Keep cash on hand. Always top off fuel, it's cheap for now... High-risk women are in fact; high risk.
Nor was I on the grounds of a mental hospital. One of my all-time favorite fears is to wake up in a mental institution and not be able to convince anybody that I don't belong there. I don't need a note to self never to visit a mental institution, ever. Gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. But, to stay on this minor topic, I once replaced a very expensive headlight on a very expensive car and the bulb failed to light. That was the moment that I started to read the manual and found that each headlight had its own fuse. Will I ever learn...?
Always remember to tighten up the rear axle bolt on your bike after adjusting the chain and before riding half way across London. Always put the lid on petrol cans before moving them or putting them down. The fuel might just create a freak high-altitude splash into your eyes. Don't use excessive force to remove the old broken mirror from your bike before realising that it's a left hand thread and you've shattered a section out of the brake master cylinder housing. Don't believe that because your aftermarket Acerbis tank has two petcocks that you have half of the reserve on each tank. Loads of fuel sloshes between the sides. Don't run out of fuel from your aftermarket Acerbis tank five minutes before you're due to be at work and while you're driving over Tower Bridge in London. Don't under-estimate the manual for your bike when it says that oil might get thrown forward from the frame when you remove the frame drain plug. Resist the urge to try catching a soldering iron as it falls off the table Remember to take your fingers out from inside the tyre before removing the tyre lever.
That brought tears to my eyes. And a memory. Do not put soldering iron on floor because the work table was crowded when toddlers are in the house. It was over 30 years ago, but I think the only reason my daughter has forgiven me is that she was too young to remember stepping on on the hot iron. // marc
If you spill a bottle of CA glue on the floor.. don't step on the glue with bare feet. Its not a sticking to the floor issue, its a "holy crap that burns!" issue as the glue sets on the bottom of your sensitive bits.
Bring the map. Your memory is not what it used to be. Bring basic first aid, water, and the means to make a shelter. A tragedy is an epic story you don't live to tell. A day ride can end with trailside repairs in the dark. A headlamp is handy, and doesn't taste like whatever you dropped your flashlight in. Dress for the worst weather, not the best. In aviation they say that three useless things are runway behind you, altitude above you, and fuel on the ground. I guess that there's some corollary to be made, but I can't think of it right now.
When you have to use a fair amount of force to remove an inline fuel filter in a fuel injected car remember that just because it's not running doesn't mean there isn't any pressure in the lines. Fuel in the eye isn't fun.
Adjust chain while motorcycle is on the floor, not on the jack stupid! Now do it again, but get it right this time! Try to remember to tighten the axel too, girlfriend gets all freaked out when the rear wobbles like that while following in her car. Don't leave the 640 to warm up all by itself on a long smooth concrete incline, it will move itself, usually down hill, just follow scraps to find bike. Do not do wrist excersizes while on bike in town, cops think it's just an excuse?:huh
Unexpectedly flushing some birds whilst on a bicycle being towed by a young, fit, strong gun dog on a path next to a barbed wire fence is not highly recommended.
The "instructions" for spoke tightening after doing the "ping" test, say "apply a little "WD40" or similar to the spoke threads before tightening".... in doing so, you will almost certainly get some WD40 on your discs, this you will discover as you brake for the first stop street .....:huh
Do not ever pull up to a gate facing downhill and leave your truck in gear and forget to set the park brake. Even though you shut it off and left it in first.....As you fiddle with the lock on the gate you will hear a funny sound and realize that the truck is rolling in gear towards you at a rate that guarantees certain death unless you stick your steel toed boot in front of the tire:eek1........And you might have to wait 30mins until someone driving by recognizes your predicament and is kind enough to stop and move your truck off your foot!
after painting your fuel tank and body parts and reassembling bike, do not forget to put the petcock back in the tank before pushing the bike a block down the street and fueling it up. gas station owners do not find it amusing when you ask them to hold their finger over the hole while you run back to get the petcock
Motor oil is not red. OR Don't remove the transmission drain plug when changing the oil in your dad's minivan. Remember to tighten the caliper bolts once you have the rear end back together. Or in 100 miles one will fall out so that applying the rear brake rotates the caliper onto the teeth of the ABS ring. This will grind the face off of your ABS sensor, destroying it, and fault the ABS. Don't buy a "new to me" K1100LT, put new tires on it, finish it's overhaul two weeks later, forget about the new tires and rip the throttle on the very first turn out of the alley when finally you get to ride it. Fortunately I saved it but it was close. When the potential buyer test riding your bike with you behind him on another bike decides not to stop when rear master cylinder locks up, and then catches the paralever boot on fire from the intensely heated rotor next it, do not get distracted by the urgency of putting the fire out and put your entire right hand on a hot exhaust while concentrating on what your left hand is doing to put the fire out. When wiping out the inside of a gas tank with "just a little gas" in it, do not put the drain outlet over your crotch. Next, when you feel moistness in your crotch, don't ignore it thinking "it's just gas, I've had it on my hands and arms before. No big deal." Eventually it will start to BURN your naughty bits and you will soon be running to the basement sink tearing your pants off. Friend of mine: When you've finally finished restoring a K75S from the ground up, do not put the electric lift table on "lower" and turn your back - forgetting that you left your work stool under one side of the lift. You will end up with a lift on it's side with a slightly mangled bike still clamped in.
dont open the service bay door and walk off, especially when a customer is bringing in ther gl1800 for service- yes they "tried" to drive it up on the lift.:eek1 and yes they made it up- onto-off of- and into the far wall of the bay.
Hey, I have that T-shirt too. Only it was my parents Saturn. They put synthetic oil in this? Wait oil is not red...ahhhh crap, hustle, hustle, hustle- got the plug back in, found some fluid to add. Kick self in ass and carry on with changing the actual oil.
Don't leave your heated handgrips on when you pull in for the evening. And don't try to catch a little air with BOTH gas tank covers open.. only to land and wonder why suddenly you're wet and smell of gas.
