Why are most men so emasculated?

I ride everywhere I go. In hi-viz clown outfits. So I get lots of people telling me that they've always wanted a motorcycle 'but the wife won't allow it.' I'm not sure if so many men are really this pussified that they can't do what they want to do, or if they are just making excuses.

what do you do when guys say this to you? commiserate with them? tell them to grow a pair of balls and take charge of their lives? tell them to divorce the domineering beotch and enjoy the rest of their lives?

This should be in Jo momma.

However, I think most men who are emasculated are that way because they prefer to avoid confrontation. It starts before they get married with the woman using sex to keep a man in his place. Later it is because they hate the fight.

On the other hand, many just use that as an excuse to not do something that scares them a bit too much. Basically they are actually afraid, but do not want to show it in front of their men friends.

Jim

I just figure different people have different priorities. I like to shoot but Grreatwife hates guns. So I don't own anything but my old childhood shotgun. No big deal to me because shooting isn't very important to me at all. Basically, I like her better than guns. To serious gun people that really care about shooting I would surely seem "emasculated". But to me it is an easy enough compromise because I don't actually care about it. Same with bikes.

I figure if a man really wanted to ride he would make a stand. If he doesn't, then he probably isn't that interested in riding and is just making conversation or maybe just curious. I don't know anybody that is really emasculated though I am sure there are some men that fits. But my wife has a stake in my life and I have a stake in hers. So we pick our priorities, make a stand where we must, compromise where we can and live happily ever after.

My best friend's wife hates bikes and is seriously freaked out by them
He rides a KLR and had a DRZ before that

She also is an anti gun nut, flat out BSC with the gun hate.
He has a 357 and we're probably hitting a gun show next month cause he wants a new Glock.

Some use the wife as an excuse, others keep it in check
Others marry women who don't give a crap about any of that like my wife

I've wondered about this same question before. Not necessarily just regarding motorcycles, but in general. I have friends that cant do much of anything because it'll upset their wife or gf. I dont think I've ever heard a woman (that's not in an abusive relationship) say that they cant do something because it'll upset their husband or bf.

"I've always wanted to.." is kind of a weak statement from the get-go. Really? As long as you've been alive you've wanted this, and you've never made it happen? The wife isn't the problem. Before they were married, what was the excuse?

IMHO ANY relationship in which the husband and wife are that far apart in ideals, is doomed to fail. Think staunch Republican married to an extreme Liberal.:eek1

Jim

Other than another woman, I cant even imagine my wife saying "you cant do that". Why would anybody put themselves in that situation?

I think in his case it's country boy gets married to city girl, they see most things the same way but he still has some South Dakota hick that just won't go away

I'm all for reaching a happy medium on the home front. but many guys that I talk to sound like they are 12 and complaining that their mommy won't let them come out and play. Either they are making their wife sound like the bad guy, when in fact they choose not to ride for whatever reasons they have, or they are letting someone decide what they can and can't do.

If it's the former, I love my wife and genuinely want to be with her, so I wouldn't paint her in a negative light to other people in order to hide my personal choice of not riding/shooting, etc. Why would people try to make themselves look better to a stranger/acquaintance/office worker at the expense of denigrating their spouse?

If it's the latter, I just don't get it. During a previous life, when my ex-wife and I met, we both agreed that we didn't want children, we wanted to see the world. A couple of years after marriage, she told me that she wanted to have children. I said that I still didn't want any. A couple of weeks later, she told me that she stopped taking birth control, started taking fertility drugs and if I didn't like that I could leave. It took me about three days of thinking things over, but I decided to leave. She couldn't understand that I wasn't going along with her ultimatum.

Back before I got into bikes, I was into cars. I had a couple of 4th Camaros and a C4 Corvette, and ran a big mailing list (before web message forums were popular) about them. MANY times I would see posts like, "getting married, wife says I have to sell the car." Or, "Wife's pregnant, says I have to sell the car." Or whatever. I swore that would NEVER happen to me.

This is just one small symptom of the change humans are going through. I seriously believe humans are becoming domesticated.

I once read a social science paper comparing domestication of various mammals. It talked about how domesticated dogs never mature beyond the mentality of a puppy, which is why they aren't so good at taking care of themselves in the wild, and rely on humans to do feed them.

The author then laid out a pretty strong case that humans are also being domesticated, exept it is the infrastructure of society that cares for us. Obviously, there are different degrees of domestication depending on how many generations have been docile. Ask your self, however: "How long would I survive if I were dropped into a forest naked?".

This docile nature manifests itself in many aspects of our lives. Standing up for what we want is one of them. That doesn't mean natural man needs to run roughshod over his spouse, but he should make more effort to get his way.

But you were going along with her ultimatum. Kids or leave. "OK. Bye."

This makes a lot of sense. And the current political state of affairs in the US is a perfect example. We have one side trying to create a culture of dependency, where everybody is reliant upon government, and the other side, that advocates self-sufficiency.

Rob

In my case under educated southern country boy married an over educated big city midwestern girl. How the hell we have managed for 25 years is anybody's guess. She is probably the only woman from her high school class that knows how throw a cast net and chase off backyard alligators. And I am probably the only guy from my high school class that goes to Wrigley Field, stays in the Palmer House and doesn't want to die in freezing weather.

As for bikes, I came with motorcycle baggage. She came with nice clothes and shoes baggage. Separate checking accounts solved that one. Then we moved to Maryland where we ain't really in the south but aren't quite in the north.

This is me....and we just had my 22nd wedding anniversary....yup we argue over politics, some of them get a bit heated....still love her....even if she is wrong

I don't know if I would call her an extreme liberal but she is definitely drinking Cool Aid.

As for the ops question....its been said it comes down to priorities....sometimes keeping the one you love happy requires some sacrifices....Mine hates guns (She has good reasons I respect) but I got a locker full....

This. In my experience, this is about 90% of it.

No, women do this all the time, and for much the same reason. It's an excuse to not do it. A very common example is when a woman is shopping and is deciding against something she is looking at. She doesn't want to seem "rude" and say she doesn't like it or doesn't want it, so she says "I love it, but my husband would kill me", or some variation of that.

I was fortunate to find one who shares my general political/philosophical outlook (which, as any who know me can attest, is going to be a very rare thing to find). And she supports my hobbies and interests, and I support hers.

PhilB

Is it for financial reasons or b/c the wife doesn't think it's safe? Maybe it's difficult to justify the extra debt if they're already 10's of thousands in debt because of a new truck & boat. Possibly, the wife doesn't want her husband looking like what she perceives as a d-bag on a bike, and the husband is a little whipped. Also possible is that said husband is barely capable of balancing a bicycle, so therefore shouldn't be on a motorcycle. I guess they just won't be a cool as us real motorcyclists who throw caution to the wind (note: sarcasm). Honestly, if you don't take into consideration your spouse's thoughts, marriage may not be the best choice. BTW, at this very moment, my wife is pregnant & barefoot in the kitchen baking me a pie

I agree with JVB; that more often than not, men use their wives as a scapegoat.

I think many men just choose to avoid conflict. The source of the conflict isn't relevant.

This reminded me of the only time I remember ever telling my ex wife no to something she wanted to do. She enjoyed riding on my bike with me. Then one day we were out and had stopped for lunch some place and a couple pulls in, each on their own bikes. She starts talking with the lady and decides she wants her own bike. I flat out told her no, and told her why I was against it. She was a terrible driver in her car. Never payed attention to her surroundings. No way in the world was I going to put her on a motorcycle. She's a great lady and a lot of fun. Good at a lot of things, but driving wasn't one of them. She'd have been another statistic within a few hundred miles.