Stupid Things Notmybike...has done. Wouldn't you like to be stupid too?

Seriously, Come on? really? This thread has had over 1000 hits in less than 48 hours, or an average of one hit every 34.72222 seconds. Someone has to have some good stories about Stupid Shit they've done. THis is a thread of the people, Stupid People, and whether you admit it or not, YOU ARE STUPID! So post up.

My next story is a ditty about Titty bars, 19 year old Mormon snow boarders from Iowa, Dom Perignon, funny strippers and my friend Hoover. He's the one who spent time in Boron in my last story.

Wilma.

I got arrested once for driving a car with no front tires

(excuse the punctuation & spelling)

My best friend from high school called me early in the morning one day and said he needed some help pushing a car out into the street so pick a part could tow it away
So I jump in my car and run over to his house and theres a really nice late 70's (I think was a 1978) Monte Carlo sitting there with no front tires just rims and the engine was sitting where the front passenger seat should have been
so I say why are you getting rid of it? He says his grandma gave it to him because it wasn't running good, so he checked it out and figured out the intake manifold gasket was bad, but he didn't have enough room to keep it at his parents house or time to work on it anymore
So I said my brother needs a car, he said If I get it out of here before pick a part shows up I can have it
I lived about 3 blocks away so we concocted a plan where he would push me to the hill at the end of his street then I would coast it down the hill and around the corner then he would tow me using his Toyota Land Cruiser the rest of the way.
sounded good to me
I got to the bottom of the hill OK, but as I went through the STOP sign and around the corner with sparks flying off the rims there just happened to be a cop coming from the other way who immediatly threw on his lights and sirens whipped a U Turn and pulled behind me
As my coasting speed with the engine sitting next to me was approximately 1 MPH at that point I quickly did the math in my head and figured that gave me roughly ZERO chance of running for it

so I got out of the car and started walking back towards the cop thats when he pulled his gun and told me to stop right there and put my hands on the car
This was about the same time my friend pulled around the corner with his Land Cruiser to hook me up and finish towing me the rest of the way
but seeing that I was busy at the moment he just kept on driving by
so now I get the pleasure of trying to attempt to explain all by myself: where I stole this car from, why I don't have a drivers license, why I was tearing up his street and what the Fuck was I trying to do to
All to no avail, eventually he gave me some nice chrome bracelets and put me in the back of his car then my friend pulls up and explains what happened and that it was his grandmothers car (thankfully he had the signed pink slip with him) but I think all that did was keep me from getting charged with grand theft auto
anyways being that I wasn't experienced at being a criminal my 1 phone call was to my boss telling him I was going to take the day off cause I needed to help someone take care of a few things
This turned out to be a bad choice cause now I finally start to think how was I going to get out of Jail ? Well maybe my friend will call my parents and tell them what happened
yep exactly as I thought my friend called my parents unfortunately he just kept asking if I was home yet eventually 8 hours later my parents suspecting something was up quized my friend and got him to fess up to what had happened
so they finally showed up and bailed me out
I think it was $ 300 bail + $ 100 something to get the car out of impound so I told my dad he can have the car and we can call it even, he agreed
He fixed the car up and drove it about 10 years
My brother who I wanted to get the car for never got to drive it

I cant remember what all of the 7 or 8 charges were but the ones I remember were

damaging a public highway
reckless driving
failure to stop for a stop sign
driving without a drivers license
something about driving a car without it being in gear
driving an unregistered vehicle

anyways I got another friend's dad who was a lawyer to come to court with me and he explained that since I was an experienced race car driver that had drivin cars without tires before it was not reckless driving this got the whole court room to get the giggles then he told the Judge that I would agree to plead guilty to failure to stop for a stop sign
Judge threw down the Gavel and said $250 plus court fees I'm thinking WTF holy crap how did you do that?
My friends dad says I went to law school with him

Sweet!

And there it is. Now doesn't that feel better?

And that was Stupid Thing that Airborndad did.........................

Does riding with you count?

Once could be considered an accident, twice would be Stupid.

Gorman
Mexico
Death Valley
Death Valley
:huh

I got a few but the law suits that would follow may not be good.......like successfully shutting down a major road way between two so cal city's. Scoring a county skeleton key that opened every pad lock they had on anything....rolling over a '76 chevy Chevette than using two people to drive it ( one sitting on what was left of the roof the steer the wheel sticking up threw the window opening and one laying inside for gas clutch and shifter) then using said key to deposit said car right in the middle of the quad at the local highschool.


Good times.....

and still you live to tell about it......

that's way too funny,,,,,,,oser

Don't forget Klammer's ride out at Spangler.

i was missing a ride... and we did go sailing

OK, I'm changing it up to this short little story about texting, kidnapping and having my head up my ass.

On Wednesday, my wife texts me and asks me to pick up a friend of my daughter when I pick my daughter up from preschool. My wife and the friend's mom were going to Pilates together. So when I get to school I walk onto the playground and barely get out the door and my daughter, Piper and her friend, Parker were standing right there. So I scoot them into room and sign them out and leave.

About 30 minutes later, my wife calls me and says that Kelly (Parker's Mom) just got a call from the school and they couldn't find Parker. I said, "I have her with me and Piper and you texted me and told me to get her and bring her to our house". I was thinking, "Holy Shit she has a short memory"

I hear a long pause and then, "You never read my texts, do you?" I answered with my patented, yet Beavis and Butthead inspired "uhhhhhhhhhhhh, what?"

My wife then says,"The cops are at the school and they think someone took her or that she walked off".

I say again, "But you told me to get her and that Kelly asked you to have me get her".

She says, "Read the text"

I say "OK" and grab my phone and start reading, "Rob, Plz p/up Parker tmrrw when you P/up Piper. Kelly and I are going to Pilates"

OK, so I happened to miss that little "tmrrw". OK, so I was one day early and the cops were looking for a "short, stocky guy, in his mid 40's, with a shaved head and a limp" OK, so I forgot to tell the school that I was taking Parker with me. OK, so..........................she's right. I don't read her texts. But hey, If I did, I would start to think my name was Carl and that we had been somewhere at lunch yesterday and I made her feel really good. Now that would be ridiculous, because I didn't have lunch with her yesterday and as far as I know, it's been years since I made her feel really good. :huh

That's another Stupid thing that Notmybike............did.

This might be my last post for a few years, because I don't think they have internet in prison.

goodbye Rob. i can watch your bike for you.

That's a nice story...

Oh no.................not again.

How about the story of how I met my wife:
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I used to spend a lot of time riding my BMX bicycle, even into my 20&#8217;s. Not because I was an avid bicyclist or anything, but because I couldn&#8217;t afford the parts to fix my car. So I am riding the local dirt trails down by the river, when I hear someone doing a catcall &#8220;wheeeeiiiit, whoooooo!&#8221; I look over, and there is a hot chick sitting in a makeshift tree house reading a book. Curious fellow that I am, I make the loop to the other side of the river, and stop at the tree house for a chat.
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As it turns out, she is a college student with not much more money than me. We get to thinking that if we pool our money, we can get something to drink. We ride over to the local drug store, and find that we have enough for a fifth of vodka (if you can call it that ) and a jug of orange juice. Back at the tree house, we become pretty good friends before finishing that bottle.
<o></o>
Feeling a little adventuresome, she suggests we go back to her parent&#8217;s house. Unfortunately, they are home, so we decide to take her convertible for a ride. After leaving about half of her tires smeared over the country roads surrounding town, we stop at a small lake. She is pretty curious about how the locals are catching fish, so she starts tugging on this guy&#8217;s line to see if that will speed things up. Chicks can get away with all sorts of stuff, but the guy gives me a look like he&#8217;s going to kill me. :eek1 There are more of them than there are of us, so we take off.
<o></o>
After leaving the other half of her tread around the city streets, it&#8217;s time for her to head back to the next town where she has an apartment closer to college. She asks me if I want to go, but I&#8217;m thinking to myself &#8220;I don&#8217;t know this chick, have no ride home if it turns out badly, and don&#8217;t know if she&#8217;s crazy&#8221; (well, I do have some idea). So I say &#8220;what the hell, why not?&#8221; I was still living with my parents at that time, so I sneak into the house to pack a little bag, tell my little brother not to snitch, and take off for one of the best weekends of my life. We have been inseparable ever since.
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Hey, what can I say? I can&#8217;t afford Dos Equis&#8230;<o></o>

Good story, but sounds Stupid like a fox, or however that saying goes. It's nice to get one of those that you don't want to be separated from, until you do, and she just says, "have fun".

This thread is stoopid

Exactly.

and yet you took the time to read it, and then took the time to post a reply in it.