Stupid Things Notmybike...has done. Wouldn't you like to be stupid too?

I'm just here to see Lakeside
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Well then you got the word Scorp! This is the offical Lakside supporter thread.

Lakeside??? I am more of a Zapp & Roger fan


Edit: I would also like to add The Gap Band

Finally, a thread dedicated to the debaucherous activities of NMBMN and other inmates........

Thats what I was thinking when I saw the title of this thread, until......


AAAHHH!!!


I want to pry my eyes out from having seen those spidey man pics! My constitution has significantly depreciated.

Text only, for the love of GOD, TEXT ONLY!!!!

I don't really do that kind of stuff. But I do have this actual photo I took when I dropped off that bucket of lye that you said you needed right away. There must be a story that goes with this.

OK, so here's one for the books. This story is PK (Pre-kids).

My wife and I drove up to Washington one year for Christmas with my family.....................OK that's enough about that.

Let's get to the driving home part. I like to drive.............alot. So, if I can drive some place in under 18 hours, I choose that instead of flying. I do some of my best thinking whie I'm driving .

Anyways, I like to drive at night when I can haul ass and no one is on the highway. So we left my parents house at at about 6pm and start heading home. The drive was fairly uneventful, other than walking in on a prostitute servicing a trucker in the bathroom around Wolf Creek, Oregon.

Around 2a.m. I start to get a little sleepy. I look over at my wife all curled up snuggly in a down comforter in the front of my Bronco. I think how cute and cuddly she looks, and I think I gotta have some of that. We've done it in the Bronco before so I attempt to wake her up. She slowly wakes up and says, "are you horny ?":huh How she does that, I have no idea. So we start thinking about where we're going to pull over to do the deed . Finally, I have this bright idea that we should pull up on top of one of the overpasses that leads out into the dark, dense forests of the Oregon/California border area that we were in. Somewhere, north of Yreka.

So, I pull off the highway with all of the anticipation of two high school kids getting ready to have sex in one of our parents beds. I think to myself what a nice night it is. It had just snowed about 12 inches and the clouds had cleared and the night sky was incredible. The Milky Way was a light show and the moon was so bright you could see details in the mountains even in teh dark. I opened my car door and step directly into 18 inches of snow with the top layer being wet powder. I walk around to the passenger side door and open it. My wife slowly pulls the blanket open to reveal :eek1, she was nude under that thing. Sweet !

Wanting to take full advantage of her adenturous showing, I drop trou.....................as I move closer, I slip in the snow, fall forward and smash my chin and lower lip on the door jam, nearly knocking my teeth out.

There I am, laying in the snow with my pants dwon to my ankles, bleeding from my chin, lip and tongue that I had bit on the way down. What could make this better?

At the moment that I stagger to my knees, I get a bright light in my eyes and a sudden feeling that we were being watched. It's a fucken UFO with a light shining right on me and now I'm getting to get anal probed. Nope, it's the local LEO that had just pulled off the freeway to check us out and see if we needed any help. He says, "are you OK?" I nervously yell, "yes, yes. We're OK. I just slipped while taking a pee". I hear silence and some talking to another person in his patrol car. He then says, "You know, it's easier to pee in the snow if you don't pull your pants all the way down". He and the person in the passenger seat laugh hysterically and drive off.



That's another Stupid thing that Notmybike did...............................

I thought you gave me the only copy of that..........


Yep, definitely Betty.





















oser

what a masterpiece

More pictures! To lazy to read. Also, the one I did read (eyeball removal) almost made me puke.

he musta left out the part where he was getting a close up view of the tray when his eyeball was rolling around on it


Or when he picked it up and was trying to look up the nurses skirts

Thanks for the explination notmybikemodelname (hope your wife named your kids).
I stuck a knife in my right eye when I was four and people keep asking what happened and how did they fix it.
They stuck four stiches in it but I kept trying to figure out how they held the eye steady when poking around with a needle.
Well now I know.

Biggie, my wife just asked me to e-mail this pic to her so she can use it as the background on her computer at work.

You're probably right. Because my orginal ideas for my son's name were;

5. Schmedley
4. Schleprock
3. Ike Ken (our last name is Seymour) Get it? I can see more.
2. Barthalomew Homer
1. Speedy Gonzalez (this one almost made it. My wife even liked it )

#1 Runner up was Isoroku Yamamoto Seymour (My sone was born on Pearl Harbor Day)

My Daughter was going to be:

Penelope Leslie Seymour (Penny Les Seymour)

Eric, you may be the Hieronymus Bosch of our time.

I just managed to take the picture at the right time. I think things started to get weird after I left. Rob had a block and tackle and a cargo net just outside the frame and a snow blower pointed in the window. Also as I was leaving a rodeo clown and a picador were walking in.

Front page material...

I believe it was 1981 and my girlfriend, Leslie (now my wife) and I were sitting in her parents livingroom watching this super cool new channel called MTV. I recall she was talking to her mom and I was sitting there stoned as hell completely engulfed in this new thing. I was 17 at the time and she was 14.

I suddenly overhear my mother-in-law say, "....yes, she's not doing so well. They say that she now has more than one tumor and they can't operate". Now this was sad, even though I had no clue who she was talking about. Now also remember that I was high as a kite. :jose

I'm not one for sad or unhappy news and I always try to diffuse the feelings with levity whenever possible. And, I saw possibilities here. A few seconds pass, and I say to Lois and Leslie, "it's not so bad. I've been living with a tumor for most of my life...................See?"

They look over at me and I had taken my right nut and pulled it out the pant leg of my 1980's style OP shorts and smashed it against my leg. All of the sudden it hit me that I barely knew this lady and I was dating her 14 year old daughter...................................................

Lois (my now mother-in-law) looks at me and my ball hanging there and without missing a beat says, "Rob, put that little egg back in it's nest" At that point, I realized that she had just opened the flood gate for all sorts of fun, at least from my perspective.

About two weeks later, I was sitting in the backyard with my soon to be father-in-law, Mike. Mike was/is a hard drinking construction contractor who protects his daughter with all of the attention of a mafia hit man. So I was sitting in the back having a beer with him and about 5 or 6 of his buddies and employees. He owned a drywall company at the time and they all used to come over after work and drink Coors for a few hours before they headed home. I had already drank a few myself and was feeling like one of the gang. There was a short lull in the yelling, cussing and making fun of each other, and I don't like silence. Suddenly a lounge chair becomes empty and I was tired of standing while all of the old men sat. So I jumped at the chance to sit and then suddenly jumped up and yelled, "Shit, I sat in gum!"

While I was standing off to the side I had pulled my scrotum sack through a tear in my surf trunks and was standing there with it pulled about two inches away from my shorts. You would not believe how funny it seemed at the time.

A few very uncomfortable seconds pass, and then Mike says while looking around at his friends, "Well at least his parents are nice, even though he's an asshole" :huh

I know he was hoping that our relationship would be short lived. 31 years later he's probably still hoping.

Those are some more stupid things that Notmybike ahs done......................................

How I won over my future Father-in-Law by getting in trouble:

My Father-in-Law was into antiques (buying, selling, and making). One day he needed some help moving a display into a new antique mall two towns down the highway. My girlfriend (now wife) and I helped him load it into his truck, and we were off.

We get to the new store, unload the display, and take it inside to set up. While they are filling the display with "antiques", I go out to the truck to see if there is anything we forgot to unload. I notice that we have been parked in a 30 minute zone for a while, and there is a chalk mark on dear ol' Dad's tire. I figure I can buy us some time by getting rid of the mark with my foot.

About 5 minutes later, a police officer comes in looking for someone. The store owner points right at ME! The officer comes over and procedes to CHEW MY ASS up one side and down the other. He says he could arrest me and take me down town, but eventually decides he's going to let me off with a warning. My Father-in-Law just stood there looking at me the whole time. I was so embarrassed that I had made a fool of myself in front of my girlfriend, her Dad, the store owner, and half a dozen customers. I figured he would do everything in his power to keep me away from his daughter (if he were smart).

Low and behold, my Father-in-Law is a cheap bastard like no other. Once nobody was looking, he patted me on the top of the head, and just said "Good boy" (he was 6' 6", and called me "The Boy").

Does this one also qualify under "stoopid like a fox"?

I guess Betty's ok...but Veronica