Stupid questions people ask you when stopped

Here's the stupidest question I've ever been asked, and I've been asked every time I've taken a pre-employment drug screening.

"Have you eaten any poppyseed muffins in the last 24 hours?"

Answer "Yes, I am not a druggie even if you happen to find something"

or

"No, if you find something, it's because I like the heroin, please don't hire me."

Why?

Because they dress like pirates and ride ill handling cruisers of course.

That's some funny shit right there... I don't care who you are.

Dakez,

You know we shouldn't discriminate against lesser lifeforms, even if they're funny. It will bring the vigilantes like Pappy541 out of the woodwork, championing the downtrodden... and bringing down medieval on our arrogant asses.

That doesn't work worth a damn with the cops.

Was I holding up traffic, again? I will try to keep up next time.

I don't talk to cops.

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Not ever.

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My wife and I just got back from an awesome 2 week jaunt from here to Arches, Mesa Verde, Bryce & Zion NPs, and hit Yosemite on the way home...3500 miles. WAY overdue, and way fun!!

DS: WOW...I'll bet you're glad to get off your bike after that many miles!

ME: Hell NO...if I had the time available...I'd turn right around and do it all over again...and then some!

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Yes beware of pappy! When I get mad I will send a lightening bolt your way and blow that sh-t eating grin off your face. :eek1

Now back to the regular scheduled program.

This morning I had this. Just pilled up in the parking lot of Lowes to get a key made and got off the bike. Dude drives up and stops then ask, "you going on a long ride"? I said no but I wish I was. He said oh you look like it.

That was strange.

I ride with my hack and dog probably ninety percent of the time. Almost everytime i stop it almost never fails that someone ask #1,"does he like riding in there"? I have now gotten so tired of hearing it that my new response is "no he hates it i just beat him till he stays in there". you should see there faces.#2 "How did you train him to stay in the sidecar?" response "duct tape" #3 "Does he ever jump out?" and i respond "Oh yeah all the time but he has only been run over three times"! these arent really stupid per say just annoying

Not really a question, but said to me when walking through the parking lot at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, while I was wearing my Teknic Supervent jacket (Very large/ostentatious external hard armor) and Olympia Airglide pants;

Frat boy: "Man, whatever you're up to, it does NOT look safe!"

Me "Pardon?"

Frat boy: "You look like you're planning to do something really dangerous with that suit on!"

Me: "No, this is just my motorcycle gear. I left my BASE jumping equipment at home"

Holy cow that's hillarious!

Reading this thread, I thought I had heard it all. I apologize if this has already been stated and I somehow missed it.
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Here&#8217;s a picture of my bike, and in particular of my clear gas tank.



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This old grisly looking dude was standing behind me and he says to his friend. &#8220;There&#8217;s no excuse to run out of gas if you have a tank like that.&#8221;
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I turn and with a big grin on my face say, &#8220;That&#8217;s right&#8221;
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The old dude says, &#8220;Don&#8217;t they make a fairing or something to cover that up?&#8221;
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I now have a surprised look on my face and I say, &#8220;Are you kidding? That tank looks cool&#8221;. And I&#8217;m thinking to myself, I guess you&#8217;re not the owner of the 1150GS we&#8217;re parked next to.

Of course it does - I just expressed mine.

:huh

Nope - I'm a limp-wristed boot licking pacivist. I'd just tell you to piss off.

I agree - you go to any event organized by Harley types and its like a fucking costume party. Black leather jacket, assless chaps, black T-shirt with something scary on it (or Harley on it) and that stupid leather vest with all the pins...and it's 95 degrees outside! WTF!

I don't own any Harley t-shirts, or even a scary one, and they look at me funny when I ride up wearing shorts, sandals and shirt with bigass flowers all over it.

.

Yup - handles like a battleship...and I like that sometimes. Good for a leisurely cruise, and a low center of gravity and wide bars make it easy to ride.

Yeah...shorts and sandals in the summer. And a beanie helmet. Or maybe assless chaps and a thong, if I'm feeling adventurous...but last time I did that I looked in the mirror and there were a bunch of KLR's following me.

Aren't all chaps "assless" sort of by definition? Otherwise I think they're called pants

Some people need musical help, so sing the following to the tune of "Give peace a chance"

"All chaps are assssssslesssssss, or else they'd be pants"

Now that is the funniest bloody thing I've read for ages. Onya. I'll be singing that line everytime I hear that song for the rest of me bloody life! Beauty.
Andy

Funniest thing I saw recently was a big scary H-D sticker in the back window of this...



I was itching to ask him why he didn't buy a REAL S.U.V.

WTF?
I wonder the same thing when 'adventurers' ride through southern UT with more gear than they could possibly need, 3/4 length black jackets in August, etc. They're usually on RTs, GSes or stroms.

I'm thinking local HD riders view it as a genuine costume party.

Now back to the topic at hand...

Fixed it for ya!

I'd take the damn thing back myself-- they put the Suzuki emblem on backwards...