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Old 07-15-2008, 01:13 AM   #1
vermin OP
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San Diego to Anchorage: The Grapes of Rat

The Grapes of Rat

“A good plan executed violently today is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” -General George S. Patton Jr.

“A vague plan executed on the internet while your wife is hollerin at the dumb ass cute boy on Survivor is the best of all.”-Vermin

So there I sat in my cubicle, the American dream appeared to be well on the way into taking one of its periodic majestic swan dives into a barrel of shit and I was contemplating myself into a grade A Midwest rust bowl funk. It seemed no matter how many belligerent 400lb misdirected youths got tazed on Cops my attitude did not improve. It was time to do something ludicrous and poorly planned.

I did the only rational thing a person concerned about global warming could do, I got on the internet and signed up to burn up liquefied dinosaurs like a frat boy at 10 cent beer night.

Plan number A (leg 2)

San Diego to Anchorage



The Players



Left to right:

Vermin - cube dwelling geek, paws feverishly at his keyboard for 40 hours a week trying to exceed his internal and external customers increasing expectations (so that the occasional food pellet will fall on his cedar chips in a sick experiment in behavioral psychology that has B.F. Skinner smiling behind gods one way mirror). Notice original Cack has a minked out gas tank circa 1995 predating the stunt boyz furred out stunt bikes by at least 5 years.

Drifter - innocent victim of last summers adventure. (http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=265019)

Dollbaby - saw the light of day for the first time 9 minutes after drifter in 1994. 3.5 lbs of high class lady. The first time I met her she grabbed my thumb like a throttle. Her little translucent fingers were so small they didn't make it all the way around. I was informed last winter that she wanted to go on an excellent adventure. With my adventurin bike stuffed in Unks garage in San Diego near the border of Mexico that left only one logical choice, Anchorage.
I thought the county family services agency would take her away from me for doing such a brutal trip so I tried to talk her down to a leasurely putt to Seattle or Missoula but she was having none of it. Game on.


Cohorts of sorts


Ant - A good woman in trying circumstances. Her sister married this clown that keeps showing up and messing up her routine.

Unk - Nice guy, big shooter, no doubt filled in his vacation request online without printing it out and scribbling all over it. The world needs people like this. He can pay attention to stuff for hours and he has been well rewarded. Needless to say my entire scenario makes him kweezy (sp)*

*my daygum computer tells me when a word is spelled wrong with those cute skwiggly underlines and then doesn't tell me how to fix it so let this be the big spelling disclaimer. Nearly every word from here on out will be misspelled at my leasure.

Stay Tuned

vermin screwed with this post 10-07-2008 at 05:45 AM Reason: disoriented
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Old 07-15-2008, 03:55 AM   #2
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Talking Oh Boy! Here we go.....

Been waiting for this one for a while...

I'll just hang onto the back and you can take me for another brilliant ADV ride

Cheers
Allan
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Old 07-15-2008, 05:06 AM   #3
KHVol
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This is gonna be good......
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Old 07-15-2008, 05:57 AM   #4
Thylex
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Im in

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Old 07-15-2008, 06:52 AM   #5
out rider
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Somebody get the lights...
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Old 07-15-2008, 01:21 PM   #6
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Well there goes this weeks productivity. Again I've been sucked into the swirling vortex known as "Another Excellent Ride Report!"

Can't wait for this to get going.

Dave...
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Old 07-15-2008, 04:41 PM   #7
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In preparation for our first cickle trip, I cued up your report from last year for my wife to read. After she stopped giggling, wiping away the tears and catching her breath, she told me that if I try any of that s*** with her this trip, I'll wake up singing saprano.

I'm riding along vicariously.

Write-on bro.
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Old 08-21-2008, 08:40 PM   #8
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Thread title updated, as per your request
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:57 PM   #9
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Just when you think ya KNOW somebody....



It wasn't until just recently that I noticed - the LAWN MOWER HANDLE you employed to make a luggage rack/mount for that Rubbermaid tub
STILL HAS THE SAFETY BAR AND THROTTLE CONTROL ON IT!!!!!!





(Jesse James can only DREAM of being as much of a REBEL as YOU!)
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:33 PM   #10
idea man
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must

I must admit, this is funny stuff. I'm jealous you can get your daughter to do this with you. Man, how cool is that.
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Old 08-24-2008, 05:18 PM   #11
vermin OP
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sos you know

Just so you know that how I felt about Buck was not unique. Here is some cats from Norway that had all that high gloss european techno music but they hitched their wagon to the real thing.

Norwegian Buck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jztFNVM_C4w

Mexican Buck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d48Ua...eature=related

vermin screwed with this post 08-31-2008 at 05:33 AM
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Old 08-29-2008, 11:17 PM   #12
baldwithglasses
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Vermin, you're the bestest. I heart your writin's.
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Old 01-06-2009, 02:58 PM   #13
oaxatwin
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Priceless!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GatorJane


It wasn't until just recently that I noticed - the LAWN MOWER HANDLE you employed to make a luggage rack/mount for that Rubbermaid tub
STILL HAS THE SAFETY BAR AND THROTTLE CONTROL ON IT!!!!!!





(Jesse James can only DREAM of being as much of a REBEL as YOU!)
Precious!!
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Old 10-16-2008, 01:00 PM   #14
tony the tiger
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Cool2

Quote:
“A vague plan executed on the internet while your wife is hollerin at the dumb ass cute boy on Survivor is the best of all.”-Vermin
I remember seeing that!

Carry on...
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Old 11-25-2008, 09:31 PM   #15
GrayWolf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vermin
The Grapes of Rat

kweezy (sp)*

*my daygum computer tells me when a word is spelled wrong with those cute skwiggly underlines and then doesn't tell me how to fix it so let this be the big spelling disclaimer. Nearly every word from here on out will be misspelled at my leasure.
Its queasy gakdarningit all to h, ee, double hooockey stix. How in the land of la vida loca did I miss this report! Now I'm going to be up all freeeeekin knight reedin. I lubbored yer last 'port. Yer boi neber did finish up his did 'e?






























Couldn't resist, and I've only read the first post!
-GW
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