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Old 03-21-2012, 08:44 AM   #1
LittleWan OP
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Make Booty Your Favorite! A Death Valley Treasure Hunt with BigWan and LittleWan

Welcome!
Prepare yourself for hundreds of mediocre photos; outstanding dirt; some *slightly* (we hope) used porn; ADV amigurumi;
a sad amount of factual or otherwise useful information; fun linkies; and the same, lame, clapped out jokes from last time.
(Make stupid catchphrases your favorite!)



If you clicked over here by accident because you saw “Death Valley,” maybe this will entice you to come back...

Some of the places we hit (2up on a KTM 990):

Eureka Dunes
Ubehebe Crater
The Racetrack
Lippincott
Ballarat
Pleasant Canyon
Rogers Pass
Middle Park
South Park Canyon
Briggs Cabin
Titus Canyon
Swansea Grade
Salt Tram Summit Station
Cerro Gordo
Goler Wash (both directions)
Mengle Pass (both directions)
Geologist’s Cabin
Charcoal Kilns
The Goldfish Pond


Not only will we be searching for Death Valley treasures, but there will be chances for you, the reader, to find some DV booty of your own!
(no, I’m not talking about the brothels )


I’ve got 1700 photos to sift through, plus some crappy video to edit, so I need to get cracking...
Put on your comfy pants and I’ll see you back here tomorrow!



Gif creator




Edited to Add: We had so much fun, we did a follow up trip the next month...
...with a GoPro hero 2




Death Valley 2.0 starts here

Links to HD video:
Up South Park Canyon
Steep hill climb Rogers Pass
Steele Pass - Dedeckera Cyn - Eureka Dunes
Swansea Grade steps
rocky ledge road to Cerro Gordo
Sandy wash/ S5 through Lee Flat



LittleWan screwed with this post 05-02-2012 at 03:05 PM Reason: adding links for DV 2.0 + highlight trailer :)
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Old 03-21-2012, 12:03 PM   #2
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Old 03-21-2012, 12:07 PM   #3
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I'm in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-21-2012, 01:27 PM   #4
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Booty
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Old 03-22-2012, 07:32 AM   #5
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Hey Guys!
Long time, no see.
Great to see some friendly, familiar names, and lots of new ones, too.
Thanks so much for checking in - itís not going to be a long report, but Iím hoping that itís gonna be a lot of fun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigdon View Post
Booty
pop the top pop the top pop the top!
Quote:
Originally Posted by dabracing View Post
Awesome idea Kelly! Thanks for tagging onto the original, this should be interesting.....
thanks, Don - I'll do my best. No promises, though :)

Hi Pink Pillion!
Quote:
Originally Posted by SenorPeligro View Post
Oh what the hell.
live dangerously!
Quote:
Originally Posted by VFR View Post
Hey, finally in at the start this time!!! I used your saying several times last year & am sure I will be needing it again.
Thanks for joining in - the more people who get the jokes, the better!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Paul View Post
SO IN !

Sad you guys didn't visit the Saline Valley Hot Springs.. you were 30 miles from it at Racetrack !

We are going the end of this month.. get cracking on that RR so I can find some BOOTY ! I know how you guys roll !
Hi Paul,
Oh, we knew the hot springs were there. We talked about going.
But, I think I like the idea of hot springs better than actual hot springs.



Heh heh.


Hi Liebchen & Izzy - don't worry, you won't regret it. Much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by madeouttaglass View Post
Same here. Spill the beans!
haha, you gotta sit through some nonsense first

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Old 03-22-2012, 07:57 AM   #6
bigdon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleWan View Post
Hey Guys!
Long time, no see.
Great to see some friendly, familiar names, and lots of new ones, too.
Thanks so much for checking in - itís not going to be a long report, but Iím hoping that itís gonna be a lot of fun.

pop the top pop the top pop the top!
thanks, Don - I'll do my best. No promises, though :)



I just about had that song out of my head! Now here we go again!
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Old 03-22-2012, 08:18 AM   #7
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“Professor - What’s another word for pirate treasure?”

“Why, I think it’s ‘booty.’ Booty. Booty. That’s what it is.”


- The Beastie Boys
“Professor Booty” (note: link is Not Safe for Work - it’s just the song, but they use the f-word a lot)



OK.
For those of you who haven’t read one of our reports before -


I’m LittleWan (Kelly) and that’s BigWan (Matt)


This is our beautiful, wonderful bike


2007 KTM 990 adventure S
She’s awesome and we love her.



When BigWan suggested a Death Valley ride, I have to admit I wasn’t all that enthusiastic.
I mean, I really enjoy DV ride reports and I like the idea of riding in DV, but I wasn’t in a big hurry to go back.

We had ridden 2up in Death Valley once before and it hadn’t gone all that well.
Matt and I had been heading out to Colorado to start the TAT West and thought we would stop in DV for some practice dirt.
He had been going to DVDaze and was excited to show me some stuff that can’t be seen by car.


Unfortunately, we were there on July 18, 2009. Death Valley was in the midst of a heat wave and hit 128įF that day.



Despite the heat, we rode 240 scorching miles.
We were staying in Beatty, so we did a nice loop.

Beatty --> Rhyolite --> Titus Canyon --> Ubehebe Crater --> the Racetrack --> Hidden Valley -->
Hunter Mountain (exploring some trails and mine stuff) --> Saline Valley Road --> Panamint Springs (where we had lunch and drank 3 pitchers of iced tea) --> Beatty.
The guy at the store in Beatty told us we were going to die.
He said it at least 4 times while we were buying snacks after the ride.


A couple pics from that ride...
the Racetrack was smokin’ hot



the old sign at tea kettle junction



The ride was interesting, and we saw a lot that day, but I wouldn’t really call it “fun.”
Matt's pretty sure I was having heatstroke on hunter mountain.
Doing all that riding in the heat was pretty stupid, actually.
Surprise, surprise surprise.
At least we didn't crash or anything. We had some deep gravel and some silt, but it wasn't bad.


Obviously, spring was going to be a lot cooler and more comfortable, but I was still concerned about the fun factor.
Matt had just done a boys trip to DV in January, and I knew he had enjoyed blasting around on the unloaded 990.
Would 2up be horrible after that?

I envisioned us slogging through the sand and gravel on our overloaded schoolbus, bogged down and hating life.

So, I dragged my feet when it came to agreeing to a ride.

That is, until I saw this ride report - 2 Day ride in Death Valley, find the Playboy magazine and win a prize.

OOooh.
I don’t really care one way or another about naked women, but I love a good challenge.
It had been almost a year and no one had claimed the prize...
I. Want. That. Magazine!


Next, I saw that this guy, cjbiker, had lost his wallet in Death Valley. Poor cjbiker, that sucks.
Hmm. More treasure to be discovered...
I didn’t want the reward, but wouldn’t it be amazing to find a lost wallet in DV?
Nearly f-ing impossible, but still. A challenge.

Okay, BigWan - let’s go to Death Valley!


Our objectives:
1. Find lots of ridable, interesting, dirt - and enjoy it, 2up
2. Find the Playboy magazine
3. Find cjbiker’s lost wallet


Seriously, Do It. Do It. Do It


By the way, that thing up there ^ is a sound clip. just click on the arrow to play....



LittleWan screwed with this post 03-22-2012 at 08:26 AM Reason: fixing my grammar
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Old 03-22-2012, 04:44 PM   #8
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Day 1: 3/11/2012 bay area to Topaz Lake, NV 210 miles

The weather forecast called for an 80% chance of snow in Strawberry, CA. We were planning to take Hwy 50 up and over, so this was a concern.
In the past, BigWan has been screwed by snow in the sierras and we really didnít want to have to ride all the way down to Tehachapi (like he did for DVDaze 2008. or was it 2007? one of those).


I couldnít find my crayons, so hereís a google map:




Living in the bay area, bites. Weíre so far from good riding. The worst part about any ride is leaving/entering the bay area. So much f-ing slab.

On Hwy 80

I tried to take a photo as we passed these guys, but I hit the wrong button. Gah! I suck.
(we finally got a new camera and this was the first time Iíve used it. Iíll be ranting about that later)



So, it wasnít snowing in Strawberry. The weather clowns blew the forecast.
I didnít take many photos along the way.
My hands got too cold.
I tried to warm them up by putting them in between the two of us and Matt said it was like someone dropped a bunch of ice cubes on the seat!
He could feel them through his pants, jacket, and liners (4 layers).
BigWan offered to let me put my hands up his shirt (rawr!) so I could glean some warmth from his heated vest, but I was okay.




When BigWan and Gravitycheck rode through here in January, they had rain and sleet.
I was quite happy with our weather.












We didnít plan our time very well and we got to Topaz Lake pretty early. Way faster than we had expected.
Normally, we would have kept going, but against our better judgement we had booked a room in advance.
Two hundred and ten miles sounds kinda wimpy, huh?
But, it was super windy and we were both secretly glad to stop.




This is the Topaz Lodge, a.k.a. the Gardnerville Super 8.
(wow, those Trip Advisor reviewers are harsh! I thought the Topaz Lodge was great.
Clean, comfortable, and the people were nice)




And, Iím pretty sure they had the cheapest gas we saw on the whole trip.




They gave us one of the upstairs rooms (#53)




With a view of the lake.
Itís hard to tell from this pic, but the wind waves were getting pretty steep - it was really honking out there.




Matt and I donít have cable at home, so motel stays are always kind of fun.
TBS was having a comedy marathon of some kind, so we took off our gear, lay on the king sized bed, and watched hours of crap. It was great!

We watched Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Old School, and The Hangover.
Wow, they give you all the highlights in those trailers.
If you watch all 3 of them (instead of watching the movies), you can keep from wasting 4 hrs and 29 minutes of your life.
Youíre welcome!



I have to admit, we own the unrated versions of all three of those movies (jealous? I thought so. ), so I wasnít fully paying attention while they were on.

I do love the ridiculous censored-for-tv fake swearing. Itís hilarious.
This one is my absolute favorite (donít worry - very Safe for work)



ďIíve had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!Ē


In Old School, Vince Vaughnís character uses an interesting device to protect his children from hearing inappropriate language or references.
He says, ďearmuffs!Ē and the kids cover their own ears.




Iím thinking that such a technique might be useful in this ride report, so as to shield our more easily disturbed readers from things that might offend his or her delicate sensibilities.

So, from now on, if something questionable is about to come up, I will make a note:

{{ earmuffs! }}


What you do with the warning is up to you. Iím not sure how that will work, exactly.
I guess you can close your eyes. Look away and scroll down? I dunno.
I trust you will figure it out.

Iíll also be using one of my new favorite words, courtesy of the TV censors:

Motherbrother!

That one got a lot of use on this ride.


And, finally, instead of ďfreaking,Ē which played heavily in the Summer of Stupid, I will be using ďmucking.Ē
Iím lazy. One less letter to type.
It doesnít work great for Muck You, You Mucking Muck, but. whatever.

So, letís continue with this mucking motherbrother!


After rotting our tiny brains with hours of mucking trash, we decided to head over to the coffeeshop and have dinner.


Thereís a collection of spurs just outside the coffeeshop entrance (inside the casino).
Hereís one of the several display cases.
Most of the spurs seemed to be from Spain and Mexico.




We both had the teriyaki top sirloin. I think. Teriyaki something.
The meat was cooked perfectly - very rare. Almost squishy. It was really good.
I wasnít wild about the sauce and would skip it next time, but still a tasty dinner.




After dinner we went to the bar for our complementary drinks.



Gin and tonics. Yum.
They were a little watery and made with cheap gin.
Just like the G&Ts we make in Mexico.
Oso Negro anyone?




The casino was a trippy way back machine with a fun oldies soundtrack.
I hadnít heard this song since I was a kid...

Catchy.
Maybe not as catchy as ďLetís Drink BeerĒ (hi bigdon! ), but catchy just the same...


Okay, you guys have been good.
Dirt tomorrow. I promise!


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Old 03-22-2012, 09:27 PM   #9
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Very entertaining. And we haven't even gotten to the dirt yet. Anticipation.
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http://advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=725976
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Old 03-22-2012, 10:07 PM   #10
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My sincerest apologies for being LATE to the party!
I love the start, BW roaring across the silver screen, food, drink and scenery.
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Old 03-22-2012, 10:34 PM   #11
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Yay!
Hi Bob

Hi RedRockRider! Yes, dirt will be coming up soon

I got distracted, looking at cute dog photos - http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=775154
Sigh.
I just uploaded 50+ un-cute, non-dog photos for Day 2...

see you guys in the morning!


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Old 03-23-2012, 03:43 AM   #12
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Glad im not to late
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Old 03-23-2012, 08:27 AM   #13
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Yay! Questor! Just in time - we're having Glorp for dinner

Hi DIESELWRENCH


Okay, I gotta get everyone into the dirt...



Day 2: 3/12/12 Topaz Lake to Homestake Campground 279 miles

Our room came with a coupon good for a free continental breakfast, or $3 off a breakfast entree. We chose the $3 off.
2 eggs, homefries and toast (not pictured). Also, some of the worst coffee I've ever had. Is Sanka back? "We're the third largest coffee in America..."



Our waitress was really nice. She said things were unusually slow in the coffeeshop that morning, but we chalked it up to the time change.
I'm sure the place was hopping an hour later.

Everyone who was there was talking about the impending storm.
Apparently, they were expecting some 50-60 mph winds in Topaz Lake and Tahoe was supposed to get at least a foot of snow. Yikes.

Ugh. How are we going to get all of our crap back on the bike??




Hereís a partial map for today. Topaz Lake to Big Pine




Back on the road (Hwy 395)














We pulled over to check out the overlook and take a couple photos.
It was windy and cold, but at least it wasnít snowing.










Hereís a pic that Matt took when he stopped here in January (2012). He actually got off the bike for his photos.
It was a winter wonderland back then. Wonder how it looks now...



Another one from January




Soon, my friends. Soon.




Back on the road




We pretty much blew past Mono Lake...



Until I spied a bathroom. Stop!
Hereís a quick shot of the lake, as good as I could get from the parking area.



We took a gravel road down to the bathroom, and then back up to the highway.
It was pretty loose and our overloaded schoolbus felt like
shit. crap.
Wow. How the hell did we ride Black Bear Pass with all our camping gear?
This did not bode well for Death Valley.


I liked these clouds.




Not sure what this thing is...




But it looks just like a giant juicer



We blew through Bishop. Our intercoms werenít working well for some reason, but we didnít feel like stopping to fix them.
I noticed that Bishop had a beautiful new Vons (SoCal supermarket), and tons of places to eat.
Instead, we stopped in Big Pine.

There were a couple small markets and one place to eat (Country Kitchen). Díoh.
Oh well. The guy at Carrollís Market was super nice and I felt good about giving them our business.



We got food for dinner and a couple gallons of spring water.
Once we got gas, we were in full water buffalo mode. About 1,100 lbs.


Saw some bikes at the gas station



It was Billy and his wife. Theyíre from Bend, OR.


We asked if he knew Wachs. He did!
Billy and Stacie came out to get more gas and then were heading back to DV.
They were going to Saline Valley Hot Springs for a quick visit, before heading back to Oregon.
We told them about the impending storm (they were hoping to get home via Quincy) and they told us that the washboard on the way to the Racetrack was brutal.

We didnít have any problems with the washboard, hope they didnít have any problems with the storm!


Had a quick bite at the Country Kitchen



And then weíre heading into the park via 168.




Starting to see Joshua trees...












Death Valley Road was kinda washboardy. Not bad, but it felt best at 60+ mph.
I mean, 25 mph.



Heading to Eureka Dunes
(that episode is kind of scary. weíre going to die riding the schoolbus)




It was pretty windy (25-30 mph)









A little gloomy looking the other direction



We had talked about camping here, at the dunes.
But these guys werenít selling it...




The first of many jets (F-18?). I was surprised at how many zoom around in Death Valley. It gets pretty loud!








Okay, I'll be back with more...don't forget - Glorp for dinner!

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Old 03-21-2012, 07:10 PM   #14
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Uh.....

I'm ready.............
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Old 03-21-2012, 07:13 PM   #15
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Awesome idea Kelly! Thanks for tagging onto the original, this should be interesting.....
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