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View Results: I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...
Nice? 29 13.18%
Nasty? 30 13.64%
Nasty but nice? 161 73.18%
Voters: 220. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-25-2009, 08:13 PM   #1
planktonnn OP
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Insert clever airhead based title here ....

So, this has arrived from glorious Essex, and will be ripped apart & rebuilt as a standard non-modded 80k mile 1985 R80RT with a 1k top end, stainless pipes, panniers & top box etc. Gone thru top to tail but left as an 'honest example' as we say over here in the grand old county of Fuckshire. Which is here, which is not over there, which is where most of you are, there.

We've never tried to build  'The Standard One' before, as most of the airheads produced by Martha Farquar Motorcycles* have benfited from lavish application of hacksaws & grinders & battery repositionings & a wonderful patina of use & abuse & the liberal application of hammers, sometimes intentionally. Not oily & grit spattered from neglect, sort of ratty but not survival**, certainly not brochure restoration*** - What's the least it needs to run?

So, The Standard One presents a different challenge. I've not previously enjoyed the idea of being restricted by what Helmut thought best. When free to mod I find most bits from most years fit across most production variations, or can mostly be made to easily. While we won't be sticking exactly to brochure spec for that exact frame number*** we will aim to present our lucky buyer with a '85 BMW for which they will give us reasonably many of their English Pounds.

Toodle pip!?!

* A loose comedy assemblage of people who failed metalwork/shop, and generally accept the outcome of a fabrication for what it turned out to be, rather than being concerned with how far it was from that which was intended :-D Except Dan Dan the Dan Dan Man, who can actually use tools and machines to a (generally) successful outcome. We point at him in wonder, and ask to see his certificates (again), though he is verging on OCD when it comes to polishing, I think it's because he didn't have a pony as a child :-D
** Gas mask headlight surrounds no thankyou***
***No dis to those who do, but we don't :-D
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Old 08-25-2009, 08:37 PM   #2
tenderfoot
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:22 PM   #3
datchew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by planktonnn
as we say over here in the grand old county of Fuckshire. Which is here, which is not over there, which is where most of you are, there.
Ok, first things first, just where the hell am I and where are you? You're either too drunk, or I'm too sober, but it sure sounds nice.


Quote:
Originally Posted by planktonnn
Toodle pip!?!
Secondly, are you allowed to write such things on the interwebs?
Nevermind the bollocks, what is Toodle Pip!?! ?




Other than needing a bit of spoon feeding on those 2 things, please carry on.
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:37 PM   #4
johno
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You Americans need to get out more

Hes a Too and From From the mother country, good old England

They say all sorts of weird things over there. A bit like us Aussies

But then we are only a bunch of naughty Poms anyway
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:17 AM   #5
Dirtyboydeadly
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Number two

I am doing a deal with planktonnn with regards to starting a number two bmw airhead project as he has a 1977 frame begging to be sawed up and modded.

Any way i'm late for work so I'll be off now
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Old 08-26-2009, 07:11 AM   #6
datchew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johno
You Americans need to get out more

Hes a Too and From From the mother country, good old England

They say all sorts of weird things over there. A bit like us Aussies

But then we are only a bunch of naughty Poms anyway

I've probably traveled more than most on here. I've been to 6 places in Oz plus Tazzie-land on 2 different trips.

I have drunk the green slime, had the meatpies at Rottsnest Island off the coast of Perth/Freemantle, dove the barrier reef near Green Island in the NE, walked the old prison near Hobart, and driven all over the UK and Ireland, had a pint at the guinness factory, walked the giant's causeway and the beaches where they filmed Saving Private Ryan, and had too much to drink on Wine St in Swansea, Wales.

but I still didn't understand what the hell he said. We yanks are just hopeless I guess. I think if I drink more and re-read it, I'll understand.
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Old 08-26-2009, 07:52 AM   #7
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Datchew:

I too am waiting for the translation. Or at least the "I was drunk when I wrote that". I've had Haggis pizza in Scotland (never again) but not been to Oz. If given a choice I'd love to move to Brisbane for a year or two.

T.
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:16 AM   #8
planktonnn OP
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Quote:
Originally Posted by datchew
Ok, first things first, just where the hell am I and where are you? You're either too drunk, or I'm too sober, but it sure sounds nice.

Secondly, are you allowed to write such things on the interwebs?
Nevermind the bollocks, what is Toodle Pip!?! ?

Other than needing a bit of spoon feeding on those 2 things, please carry on.
I am here, you are there, if you were here you wouldn't be there. Unless I went there, in which case I'd be there & you'd be here. I hope that clears that up. Toodle pip = Ta Ta.
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:45 AM   #9
planktonnn OP
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Pissed

Now, here's a little quiz - Which one of us has a sump full of metal cornflakes & glitter? That's right. ME!?!

Because I've been pointing my affections at the new project in the top pic, my regular airhead ride has decided to blow up. It's nothing to do with me running it on full throttle for 50 miles straight on a hot day, or the slightly low oil level, or the lean mixture & short pipes causing it to run hot. No, it's nothing to do with any of those things.

It's jealous. They always get jealous when you switch attention to another machine, and immediately throw a big end or main in revenge just to re-focus your attention. Being parked in the front yard it didn't know that I was already ratting up a K75 in the back yard. But wheeling the new one & boxes of spares directly past was asking for trouble.
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:45 AM   #10
datchew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by planktonnn
I am here, you are there, if you were here you wouldn't be there. Unless I went there, in which case I'd be there & you'd be here. I hope that clears that up. Toodle pip = Ta Ta.


Ahhhh. Yes, it's all clear now. Thanks!
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:50 AM   #11
bpeckm
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Ooooh... this is going to be jolly good.........



















And whilst we are on the subject of proper language, wtf are No-Toes.....??
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:56 AM   #12
planktonnn OP
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bpeckm
And whilst we are on the subject of proper language, wtf are No-Toes.....??
In some counties hereabouts they have more than the requisite number of toes, whereas round here they have less. In our particular case it's not a genetic throwback due to sibling sex, but because our Health & Safety policy strictly requires that we wear sandals in the workshop (my shed). So far we've been lucky & not trapped our tootsies under a centre stand, but it's only a matter of time...
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:57 AM   #13
planktonnn OP
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Quote:
Originally Posted by datchew
Ahhhh. Yes, it's all clear now. Thanks!
Good, good, keep up there chap, eh, what!?!
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Old 08-26-2009, 09:00 AM   #14
Stagehand
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Jerry tossing cabbage crates over the briney, what what?

Stiff upper lip and think of england!
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Old 08-26-2009, 09:03 AM   #15
Airhead Wrangler
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You've made it into my top three Britishisms with that one:

1) Snog
2) Bimble (thanks, E-Kev)
3) Toodle Pip
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