|09-01-2011, 06:58 AM||#11|
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: NE Ohio
Shelby, MT to Seeley Lake, MT
It was a relief to wake up this morning knowing that the multi-day SLABtacular was behind me. It was really quite fun to actually steer my bike today, instead of just droning along in a straight line! But I needed to make a quick visit to Canada to make the ride official. I headed north to the nearest border crossing. I slowed as I approached the entry point, and stopped face to face with a Canadian border guard.
Guard: Hello sir, and welcome to Canada.
Me: Thank you. May I proceed?
Perhaps. Before you may access our country, you need to correctly recite the lyrics to fellow Canadian Bryan Adam's classic rock hit, "Cuts Like a Knife."
What? You are kidding me, right?
Kidding? I don't know what you are talking a boot.
A boot? What does my footwear have to do with anything?
Please begin the lyrics sir, or turn your machine around and return the the USA.
I don't know the lyrics. But I can air drum Rush's "Tom Sawyer" to like 98% accuracy. Does that count?
Everyone in Canada can do that sir. It's part of the 6th grade proficiency exam.
Dammit. Well f*ck you and your stupid metric system then!
Canada. What kind of backwards country uses the metric system anyway? Dividing by 10? How ridiculous. Why can't they just add 1/8 to 35/64 like a real country. Idiots. I bet they are the only dumbwads that use metric anyway.
All of this is to say that I didn't bother going up to the border. But while I was bored on the highway, I thought of the above wierd dialogue and decided to add it here for flavor. See, I can't be trusted. I told you.
So it was time to head west to and through Glacier National Park. After about an hours ride that morning, America revealed her delicious mounds to me:
I felt a presence behind me, and turned around. I think the adventure is starting to come together now:
After entering the park, the Going-to-the-Sun road climbs and winds it's way up and over the pass. (The road never reaches the sun, f*cking liars.) The scenery totally sucks nuts all the way:
At the top, there is a busy visitor center. I took a picture of the informational sign up there, but the photo did not come out. I can remember verbatim what it said though:
Welcome to historic Glacier National Park. The road you are on was created in 1956 as a safe passage upon which to travel over the pass. However, in 1989 the United States government uncovered evidence of universal healthcare, Molson, and hockey sticks being illegally transferred into the US via the large glacier descending from Canada into the parks boundaries. The best and brightest minds were gathered to assess the problem, and the only solution that was considered valid was an attempt to raise the temperature of the earth's atmosphere enough to begin melting the glacier, and stopping it's progress. Large trucks and SUV's were then manufactured, sold, and deployed all over the country in order to put the plan in motion. It was coined Operation Global Warming, and it's effects can still be felt worldwide, as the plan was a enormous success - altogether halting the horrid influx.
As the glacier melts and releases it's cargo, you can actually hear Celine Dion's voice echoing throughout the canyon walls. It's eerie:
Exiting GNP. Like I said, the scenery sucks nuts:
So, after 1920.4 miles, my front tire finally hits dirt/gravel on the actual CDR route south of Kalispell. It's clearly happy about that. (Don't mind the herp derp one on the bottom. There is at least one of those guys on every tire. It's best to just ignore him:
It takes a few miles to get your gravel "legs" back after all the pavement, but before you know it, you're hangin' your ass end out through the corners, and all is well:
May I suggest you camp on the west side of Seeley Lake, in Seeley Lake Campground. Quiet, scenic, and bears didn't eat me. Those were my main camping concerns. Maybe not in that order.
Disclaimer: You may have noticed some anti-Canada sentiment in the preceding text. I'm sorry Canada. I'm just joking around. I met many of your residents on my trip, and they were all very nice. And I personally prefer the metric system. Please don't get revenge on me when I do the Trans-Lab someday.
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