Why are most men so emasculated?

[windmill]

Originally Posted by Kommando

I keep my daily copy tucked safely inside my man-bag.

Ooooh,
Is yours a hand bag, or a shoulder bag?
Were you able to find one that matched your riding gear?
Did you get it on sale?

[Tom48]

I have 4 motorcycles. The last one pissed off the wife of 41 years, I don't care about her view. The money came from my motorcycle fund.
If one allows someone else to run their lives and passions, there is no advice for that condition.

[Terrytori]

Originally Posted by opmike

I'd never marry into a "let" relationship. I'm not going to "let" them doing anything and they aren't going to "let" me do anything either. We're both goddamned adults, and a relationship isn't the place to put all your pre-existing passions and interests on hold or to have their continuation or cessation dependent entirely upon someone's irrational little biases. Should there be compromises? Sure. But things like, "Well, guns are bad. They scare me!" isn't the same kind of argument as, "Well, we can't really afford that LaRue upper or Nightforce right now because of X, Y, and Z." Objective financial issues can be a clear and present problem. Something like fear is often borne out of misconceptions and can often be cured with a few trips to the range. Why would I yield a passion of mine so quickly to something so potentially transient?

I have interest in science (including evolutionary biology), motorcycles, guns, cars, airplanes, and motorsports. I don't expect to hear any complaining from anyone else regarding these interests unless they are somehow becoming overly intrusive upon the relationship, financially, etc...

Luckily, I've been able to find women with similar views. She buys her shit, watches her shit, reads her shit, and goes to her shit...I do the same on my end. Most often there's some overlap, sometimes not, and it's never turned into an issue. I respect a person who will make a real effort to become interested or otherwise supportive of someone else's interests, and I always make an effort to do the same. I see a relationship as being a place for growth, not a prison.

Life's too short to start changing and molding who you as a person just to keep someone else happy. Maybe I'm a selfish bastard, but for me, if it came down to the wire and I HAD to choose, a happy life means more than a happy spouse if said spouse will only be appeased if I change who I am. It ain't gonna happen and I wouldn't dare ask her to do the same. So far, I've been able to keep both the life and spouse at comparable levels of happiness. YMMV.

I was going to respond to this thread but this pretty much articulates all that I would have said... and perhaps, more succinctly.

[Mat]

Originally Posted by DoWorkSon

My best friend sold his so he could pay for "his wife's kitchen". He sold his motorcycle, something he was passionate about, loved, and which allowed us to spend hours wrenching and being guys, because his wife wanted a new kitchen.

Tosser can't even cook or uses the kitchen himself? Talk about being emasculated...

[JimVonBaden]

Originally Posted by Philander

So, to be manly, I have to be slovenly, unkempt, watch mindless TV, and drink bad coffee?

I think that you need to broaden your definition of what 'manly' is. Either that or not care about whether other men are meeting your definition. After all, if the rest of us are pansies, then there will be more women for you, right?

You also, apparently, need to put the $ sign on the wrong side of the number!

Jim

[manfromthestix]

Originally Posted by JimVonBaden

This should be in Jo momma.

However, I think most men who are emasculated are that way because they prefer to avoid confrontation. It starts before they get married with the woman using sex to keep a man in his place. Later it is because they hate the fight.

On the other hand, many just use that as an excuse to not do something that scares them a bit too much. Basically they are actually afraid, but do not want to show it in front of their men friends.

Jim

I've read through most of this thread, see myself at various points in my life and relationships in some of the stories, and could add a few horror stories of my own. I think I'll save some electrons, though, and just note that Jim absolutely NAILED IT on post #2 above. So Jim, how many marriages have you been through to gain so much wisdom? I'm on my third, so I've learned a few things about the ways of women and relationships (#3 tells me the lessons have paid off). Thank you, Dear, you're right of course.

BTW, after two failed marriages, living alone for years, and dating a number of ladies I have found a woman who celebrates me being myself and I celebrate her being herself and it works GREAT! We talk and compromise and things work out very nicely for both of us. We're both very independent but recognize we're stronger together than separately. She's a keeper and she says I am too. We enjoy each others' company but are happy when apart as well. Finally, the partnership we've always wanted and knew we should have.

Doug

[JimVonBaden]

Originally Posted by manfromthestix

I've read through most of this thread, see myself at various points in my life and relationships in some of the stories, and could add a few horror stories of my own. I think I'll save some electrons, though, and just note that Jim absolutely NAILED IT on post #2 above. So Jim, how many marriages have you been through to gain so much wisdom? I'm on my third, so I've learned a few things about the ways of women and relationships (#3 tells me the lessons have paid off). Thank you, Dear, you're right of course.

BTW, after two failed marriages, living alone for years, and dating a number of ladies I have found a woman who celebrates me being myself and I celebrate her being herself and it works GREAT! We talk and compromise and things work out very nicely for both of us. We're both very independent but recognize we're stronger together than separately. She's a keeper and she says I am too. We enjoy each others' company but are happy when apart as well. Finally, the partnership we've always wanted and knew we should have.

Doug

Hi Doug,

More than one, and more than a couple LTRs. It is the LTRs before marriage that really showed me the right from wrong in a relationship.

Fortunately, like you, I now have a wife that is very complimentary with me. We do our own things, and we do a lot together. We do not tell each other what to do, but we discuss a lot. She or I go shopping when we like and buy what we like, but both of us are mature enough to keep it reasonable, and discuss the big purchasses.

Jim