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Old 04-26-2013, 07:31 PM   #16
swamp OP
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Originally Posted by woodly1069 View Post
Hey swamp, forgot to ask, why not the little yammer hammer?
you mean the chupacabra! lol. that bike has been retired from touring. its up on a cenderblock with no chain, 8 broken spokes and a clapped out motor (second motor) and snaggle tooth sprockets. every now and then i will look at it and remember the past. its like a friggin crystal ball man!
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:46 PM   #17
swamp OP
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Wink mexistan and central bunghole

April 10th 2013-progreso

I get up early to go for a walk around the city. I tell myself that if I cant leave by 12:00 ill just stay another day here in progreso. there are not very many people out in the mornings here, or after 17:00

I like watching things wake up. people just wandering around, enjoying the morning. getting ready.

this old man had this old woman in the front of his bicycle push cart. she was sitting in an old lawn chair. i found it interesting. these pushcarts are everywhere here.

hmmm... communism giving hope ? is this suggesting that communism gives hope

....because when i think of communism i think of this:

At 9:00 im waiting in front of the office as the first employee gets there.
I give him 10 minutes before i start hassling him. I get all my paper work out to show him what im here to do. he gets another lady that can speak really good english. she tells me i must first go to Banjercitos (or however its spelled), its the government bank here in mexico that deals with this sort of thing. I have to go get my permit which costs $400 dollars. I have to show them all of the proper import documents. I walk across town to the bank with my pile of red tape. I can tell this is going to take a while.

It takes me a good hour setting at the bank to get my permit papers. I then walk back across town to the shipping office to confirm i have all the correct papers.

Outside I get a taxi to bring me to the pier/ port authority/ checkpoint station. unlike on the American side (point of origin, shipping point) the mexicans have military personnel with full body armor and automatic weapons. The taxi driver helps me communicate with the guards. I have to go over to a window. leave my drivers license with a guy who then gives me a piece of plastic with yarn attached to it (my pier pass).

i get back in the cab, wave it at the guard, he asks to see my bike permit and passport i show him both, he raises the gate. taxi driver tells me this is one of the largest piers in the world. the reason it is so long is because the water is so shallow here. they had to build a road (he tells me its 12KM long and i believe him) out to deeper waters so that the freight liners can dock. its pretty cool. there are huge concrete blocks that flank the road all the way to the end. seriously pretty cool.

He drops me off at where im supposed to go. I have to show my pass again to another guard who points "that way". i wander around until another guy points at a door that has a sign on it. the sign is in spanish and i can tell it says "authorized personnel only". I open it and stick my head in, the people inside give me a what the fuck look so i pull my head out and close the door.

a guy in a red hard hat points at the door like: "yea thats the right door just go in". so i walk in and give the first person i see a big pile of shipping documents and my passport. i suppose im in the right spot because they begin doing and typing ... stuff.

i set there for an hour.
they tell me to go to a different room and talk to a guy at a table.
i have to pay some more money, i cant remember how much it was but it was anywhere from $15-$50 dollars.
i wait for 15 minutes.

they unload my bike outside, its like seeing my dog after ive been away. makes me super happy:

my bike shipped over the gulf of mexico on this:

of course this calls for a celebration of food and beer!
ride around town, settle on a place next to the beach because one of the waiters runs out in front of my bike and demands that i eat there. ok. easy enough.

Tecate is my favorite beer. I love them; they goes down so easy. i could drink them all day long.

this was awesome.

At this point it was past 12:00.
figured i would just get drunk, eat nachos then leave early in the morning. no rush.

kapooyah kapooyah, well thats fucking wonderful, los llantera messiah, .. not again and trepidation
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:57 PM   #18
Comrade Art
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Enjoyed your Cambodia trip and looking forward to this report
Vietnam Adventure Oregon BDR Arizona BDR
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Old 04-27-2013, 05:30 AM   #19
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Location: Louisville, KY...really too far from the hills!
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Oh yeah we're almost on the road
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem!
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Old 04-27-2013, 08:18 AM   #20
team ftb
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Swamp are ya gonna be slinging dirt on this trip a majority of the way? Or will it be lots of pavement, 50/50?
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Old 04-27-2013, 08:26 AM   #21
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We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are encouraged to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics.
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:41 AM   #22
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Another swamp RR

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Old 04-27-2013, 12:16 PM   #23
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That has to be the baddest Sertao on the planet!
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Old 04-27-2013, 01:46 PM   #24
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I did not need to see those Fajitas...... Now I have to get me some!

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Old 04-28-2013, 12:53 PM   #25
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Old 04-28-2013, 02:02 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by swamp View Post

big bikes in small elevators

solo jungle madness

That is one bad-ass bike build and some really cool photos.
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:30 PM   #27
swamp OP
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Location: lower appalachia, Alabama
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riding south: mexico and central bunghole

April 11, 2013 Thursday
Progreso to Oxkutzcab Yucatan Mexico

So what’s on the menu for the first day of riding?

The original plan that had taken me a few months to draw out on my GPS unit and hard maps of Central America would soon be trashed after this first day of riding. Now that I’m home, on my soft orange couch I can laugh about it but this first day on the road pushed my frustrato-meter past the glass and the problems would not let up for the next three days! I had literally lost my mind (I’m not feeding you shit here) and I wouldn’t find it again until Panama.

4:00 Thursday April 11

I did the pre-ride ritual dance step of: underwear, sox, knee guards, pants, boots, elbow guards, jersey, gloves, watch, helmet, goggles, load up the god damn bike then realize you gotta’ take one last shit before you leave and finally forget to put the earplugs in. After “the prophecy” was fulfilled I tracked down the night manager to have him open the gate for me. I bring up the waypoint for the Mexico/Belize border on my GPS unit then hit the big, green, GO button.

The Sun hasn’t come up yet and I’m doing 75mph down the highway South through Merida. By 7:00 I’m approximately 8 miles past the little town of Telchaquillo when I feel a very strong disturbance in The Force. At first I think “oh, flat tire, slow down”; immediately after that thought came “that’s not a flat” followed by the bike’s rear end violently bucking and tracking .. well, “wrong”.

I pull over onto my handlebar width allotment of shoulder space, put the bike on the center stand then look down at the rear tire. Just as I look down the tube bulges out from between the tire bead and the rim like its some kind of living blob then POW! Tube pieces go everywhere. “what the crap?” I think to myself “never had that happen before hmmm..”

Tools out, I get down to business removing the rear wheel while cars and huge 18 wheel trucks see how close they can come to me without actually hitting me. “Well at least its not 13:00 and hotter than Hell”. Upon closer inspection of the tire I realize what had happened; the steel belts (cables) that are inside of the bead had been broken. I remember seeing at least three broken cables and thinking “son of a bitch, now what? I cant believe this is happening ALREADY!” The brand new Dunlop 606 and ultra-heavy duty tube that I had installed before I shipped the bike were totally thrashed within the first 100 and something miles of the ride.

As much fun as it sounds, I really didn’t want to be stuck on this road which is a known Los Zetas drug trafficking route. Lets just say that Mr. Gravlee was in a little bit of a hurry to get his white ass down the god damn road to someplace with witnesses (and a new tire).

Spare rear tube comes out of my bag and I install it into the tube with broken belts. The tire is so easy to get on the rim with the broken belts.. no bueno gringo. I use the electric compressor that I keep in the tail section to air up the tube. The whole time that I’m doing this I know that the fix is not going to hold up for very long, but MAYBE I can make it to a house or a cross road or what would have been a big, one man high-five; a gas station.

I make it maybe two minutes creeping down the road sweating bullets before the tire comes off the rim and the tube is flat again (arrrrgghh). Same process starts over: center stand, tools out, remove wheel, remove tube, wheel on straight ? I only have a front tube left so I stuff the 21” in the rear and air it up, “must go forward”. Surprisingly, I get further down the road on the front tube being in the rear than the rear tube being in the rear before the tire comes off the rim and the tube is torn.

I get off the bike and scream “fuuuuck!” as loud as I can until I start coughing. A few seconds of just looking at the sides of the road (filled with nothing but thick, grey thorn bushes and rock) tells me that people don’t usually slow down to enjoy the scenery around here which means I better get my ass in gear flagging down trucks before it gets hot. So that is what I do.

out comes one of the yellow dry bags out of from luggage. I begin the process of waving the yellow bag at every passing vehicle that I think can haul my bike. A truck going the opposite direction as I was going passes me, slows down, turns around and parks right in the middle of the road next to my bike. He turns his flashers on, exits the Ford F-150 and walks quickly towards me. He is about my height, a little heavier, age around 43, wearing a blue button down cowboy shirt with the sleeves rolled up and some silver necklaces.

He looks at my tire and at first he thinks it’s a flat. I point at the tire where it has come off the rim and keep repeating “numero tres”. I point to the bike then to the back of his truck. He nods yes as we get passed by an 18 wheeler from Hell. We get the front end into the truck easy enough but as we go to lift the ass end into the truck my homie’s shoulder blows out and we drop the bike. He points at his shoulder and waives no and points at the bike then points at me, then walks to the right side of the bike to steady the front end which is still in the truck. OK then; I summon the Power of Castle Greyskull and let loose a crackling guttural, torture-scream that’s laced in spit and the boogery, yellow saliva deposits that form in the corners of a motorcyclists bearded mouth. Somehow, just before blacking out, I had lifted the rear into the back of his truck.

He tells me to get in the back and hold onto it. OK. So I put it in gear stand next to it and hold the front brake. He keeps pointing at himself and saying “paseo paseo” and giving the universal hand signal for “I’m going to drive slow”. Cool . I guess “paseo “ means slow. My Spanish is improving already.

Not exactly what I wanted for Christmas but I guess it will do

Perfect place to change a few tubes and deal with a tire with broken belts. An absolutely IDEAL situation

tube go bang

Next Time:
"stupid mfff, blurrr gaaad ..ffff!"
Enduro Earth

off the grid and deep in the woods

swamp screwed with this post 04-28-2013 at 03:40 PM
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:01 PM   #28
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I'm in. Can't wait to read the rest of the RR
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Old 04-28-2013, 10:10 PM   #29
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Old 04-29-2013, 02:05 AM   #30
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I'm in, love the photography!
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