ADVrider

Go Back   ADVrider > Riding > Ride reports
User Name
Password
Register Inmates Photos Site Rules Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 07-29-2013, 02:01 PM   #91
h2oboy
Gnarly Adventurer
 
h2oboy's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Pacific NW
Oddometer: 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hondarider View Post
Thanks Man! I had no idea that F5 does that.
Welcome. I tend to wear out the refresh button on good RR's. Yours may not have a lot of pics but your writing makes up for it.
h2oboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2013, 02:32 PM   #92
GypsyWriter
Sarah
 
GypsyWriter's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Hanford CA
Oddometer: 1,408
Oh, this is fantastic!

__________________
2012 R1200GS Rallye - Gypsy
2003 R1150GSA with DMC sidecar
Ask A Self-Publisher
Quote:
Originally Posted by FotoTEX View Post
Life is dangerous. Not doing what you love makes life even more dangerous...
GypsyWriter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2013, 05:42 PM   #93
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
When I tell you that I exerted every bit of concentration I could muster, I mean I was concentrating harder than buckling your helmet while wearing gloves and motoring down the highway at 75. I pulled my shit together, lifted the bike from the kickstand, and gingerly...ever so gingerly...inched it out the parking spot. I had my hip pressed against the left pannier, one hand on the left grip, and one hand on the left rear grab rail. I acutely focused on one thing...don't fall over...don't fall over...don't fall over...there are people watching...don't fall over...don't fall over.

I made it about 8 feet before I had to stop to rest, regroup, and sweat. Mike was already sitting on his bike...trying to figure out how to start it. We had agreed to take our chances and make a break for it...willing ourselves into sobriety...Herculean effort being put forth to stimulate brain cells starved for oxygen...it wasn't working...I was quite plainly snookered.

Despite my self-induced handicap, I pressed on...surely the alcohol had to wear off shortly...it was 2 beers for goodness sake. I climbed aboard, hit the starter, and looked over at Mike

"We really gonna do this?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Just be sober"

"OK, sure...be sober...I can do that"

We laughed and motored off into the darkness...be sober...be sober...be sober...be sober

Moments later I was laughing like a fool...I couldn't find my way out of the parking lot. Mike was still following me and most likely still wondering why he should be following me. We eventually found our way out onto Colfax and headed for the hotel. We stopped at a red light...still laughing like fools...

"How are you doing?"

"Good. I remembered to put my feet down when we stopped. I'm pretty happy about that...and my clutch works again so I've got that going for me"

"Cool. Now if we can avoid the police, we'll be golden"

At that point, I looked across the intersection and saw 2 police cruisers sitting side by side...facing us. "Be sober...be sober...be sober...be sober...be sober...be sober...why the hell am I wearing sunglasses in the dark? I'm not Corey Hart and its not 1983. Why am I so stupid? I have a mortgage." The light turned green and we set off without incident. I missed the hotel again and had to make another u-turn. We pulled into the parking lot, covered the bikes, went upstairs, and went to bed. End of story.

Wildly disappointing I know. I felt the same way. We were so close to an actual adventure and then...nothing. This trip blows. We get so close to epic disaster...raging rainstorms...flammable clothing...would-be motorcycle thieves...sinister meth-addicts...gale force winds...break downs...drunk driving...scorching heat...bed bugs...under-cooked chicken...expired milk...and yet, despite all of the ingredients being present, we keep skating by without real incident. How am I going to write an epic travelogue if nothing bad ever happens? It's truly infuriating. I might be driven to do something rash if our luck doesn't change soon. I can't go back to work next week without a harrowing tale of death and dismemberment. If I have to get Mike killed for a good story, I'm willing to make that sacrifice.

Maybe tomorrow will be better...err...worse...

Hondarider screwed with this post 07-29-2013 at 05:47 PM
Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2013, 06:15 PM   #94
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
So here's the thing with a GoPro camera...awesome technology...terrific picture...decent sound...water proof...shock proof...and with a 32G SD card, you get 5 and a half hours of footage. The problem is that absolutely nobody will watch your video unless there is some sort of vehicular mayhem or someone gets hit in the nuts. I've logged dozens of hours of footage over the past years without capturing a single Tosh.0 moment. It's usually 30 seconds after turning off the camera or the battery dying when I crash into a bear, lose my front wheel, or arrive at the naked Playmate carwash. It's truly frustrating.

With the camera mounted on my helmet, I was hoping my luck would change on this trip. I hope Mike falls down and gets humped by a rutting elk.
Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 05:04 AM   #95
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
DAY 4 – Monday
I woke bright and early to a perfect Colorado day…sun shining…birds singing…twisty mountain roads beckoning. I was energized and eager to hit the road immediately. Mike was hiding under a mountain of pillows and, I suspect, hoping for a couple more hours of sleep. Sucker! I was up, showered, and packing my bags inside of 15 minutes. Then, as was our daily ritual, I woke Mike in the gentlest way I could think of…the delicate melody of the Braun Model 5610 XP Electric Shaver/Alarm Clock with a full charge…a sound that Mike may have later described as a 2-stroke weed whacker against a chain link fence…it’s important for one to look his best before heading to breakfast; no?

Mike was up and moving…begrudgingly, but moving nonetheless. I suspect that he was excited to finally see the Rockies today so he didn’t complain nearly as much as I was expecting. It was probably 6:00AM at this point. I consulted the map while he got ready. I’d really like to ride up Pike’s Peak today, but I-25 to Colorado Springs blows and the route through the mountains to the west is fairly time consuming so we’d probably end the day somewhere south or west of Denver. That’s OK, but I had promised Mike we would take a full day off from riding on Day 5 and I didn’t see an ideal spot for that to the south; not without going way down to the southwest corner of the state to Ouray or Pagosa Springs. I love those places as base camps, but we didn’t have enough time for that on this trip. Instead, I thought we might ride up Mt. Evans this morning instead and then head north to Rocky Mountain National Park and the mountain town of Estes Park; one of my favorite places for the past 20+ years and a good spot to take the day off from riding.

We cruised down to our complimentary breakfast and watched the weather forecast. Record high temperatures slated for the Front Range today, 100 degrees, but we’re heading west and up to higher elevations. Perfect!

We packed the bikes and prepared to hit the road. My clutch was still suspect, but there was feel in the lever once again and I had convinced myself that it was most likely a heat issue related to our long charge on the super slab. Maybe it would be better in the mountains with cooler temps and much more frequent shifting. I topped off my oil, having burned about ¼ quart on the ride out. Mike decided to check his oil level for the first time of the trip, noting that the bike was sounding a little “clunky” when we pulled into Denver the afternoon before. He pulled the dipstick to find that there was no oil – at least none detectable by the dipstick – bone dry.
Now here’s the part where I get a little irritated. Back when we were still sitting in an office somewhere, I told Mike that he needed to bring a quart of oil on the trip. This was a lesson that I learned on a previous trip when I found myself in Tennessee with an empty sight glass, no spare oil, and no place to buy it. ON that trip, I hadn’t even checked for oil consumption up to that point as most bikes I’ve owned never lost a drop between oil changes. When I did finally look, it was already a little late and I was down at least a quart. Now I always carry a quart on a long trip and I check my level daily. I had insisted that Mike bring a quart – especially since his dealer had convinced him that Victories only run on a magic blend of synthetic oil, ground unicorn eyelashes, and leprechaun sweat – bottled and certified by Victory Motorcycles Inc. Anything else would certainly mean catastrophic failure.

Guess what? He didn’t bring any.

Clearly, while he was taking time out of each day prior to the trip to make fun of my packing list and ridicule my obsessive over packing, he missed the quart of oil in the left pannier. He was probably giggling about the word “pannier”. Slacker!

So, here we were at 7:00AM…sun shining…birds chirping…mountains beckoning…temperature rising quickly…and we can’t go anywhere. There’s a dealer in Lakewood, but they don’t open until 9:00. We could be sitting here for a while.

Perhaps sensing my irritation at the notion of standing around for 2 hours to address an issue that he could have easily prevented, we opted to do what all Americans do when they need something, we went to WalMArt. There was one a mile or so down the road. I suspect this may be the case no matter where you find yourself in America. I’d like to despise WalMart for their crappy Chinese products and Borg-like domination of the marketplace, but when I need something, I always end up back there. Curse your extended business hours and total disregard for your employees – you’ve seduced me with convenience!

Anyhow, we find some motorcycle-specific oil with an appropriate viscosity. It’s not officially authorized and it doesn’t contain any magic pixie dust, but I’m pretty sure it will do the trick and we’ll be able to get back on the road. I suggest Mike buy 2 quarts…one to put in the bike now and one for the ride home…he resists the idea and opts to buy only 1 quart…I’m confident that I’ll be annoyed by this decision later in the trip.



Here's Mike dumping in the first quart of oil for this trip. He looks confident that this should be the last time. Doesn't he? It looks top me like that tank bag can easily hold a spare quart or two, but he must be trying to save $10.

That's a good shot of the windshield he finally went with. Its from Memphis Shades and it seemed to work pretty good. Certainly a lot more coverage than the "visor" he originally purchased.

Hondarider screwed with this post 07-30-2013 at 05:43 AM
Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 06:01 AM   #96
JACIII
Gnarly Adventurer
 
JACIII's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Mercer County, Ky
Oddometer: 359
__________________
JACIII
(Terminal Case)
2001 R1150gs 2007 KLX250s
"You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality." - Ayn Rand
JACIII is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 06:11 AM   #97
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
With a crankcase full of oil…maybe…I’m not so sure that Mike even knows how the dipstick on that thing works…I think he just dumped in a quart and put the stick back in without checking…I told you he’s casual. Anyhow, with a crankcase full of oil, and proper riding gear donned, we FINALLY hit the road and headed for the hills.

First stop…Lookout Mountain Road…a twisty little slice of heaven with views of the Front Range, a 20mph speed limit, and countless memories of young girls I lured up here in my Jeep 20 years ago. It was a damn shame that I’d have no one but Mike to make out with today. Oh well…any port in a storm.


Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 07:56 AM   #98
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve driven this road over the years. I take the tour every time I’m in town. It reminds me of being 19 all over again. I was in the Army and attending AIT at Fitzsimons Army Med Center in Aurora…not a care in the world beyond chasing tail, seeing as much of Colorado as possible from the seat of my Jeep, and potentially popping off to Desert Storm. Fortunately, AIT outlasted my assigned unit’s tour in the Middle East and they were on their way home just as I was finishing school. I remember being disappointed at the time…I thought I had missed out on an adventure…man, kids are stupid.

We cruised the twisty turns and enjoyed the views…ran into a police cruiser almost immediately and slowed it way down to a legal velocity. I wondered what Mike must be thinking…seeing this for the first time…he’s really going to be shocked when we get up into the real mountains. We stopped for a few photo ops…


Typical tourists




Hondarider screwed with this post 07-31-2013 at 10:49 AM
Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 07:57 AM   #99
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
LOOK! The Coors factory...

Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 07:58 AM   #100
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
That's Denver in the center of the pic...almost to the horizon. It's always surprising to people to see that it's not actually in the mountains.

Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 08:07 AM   #101
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
Golden, CO

Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 08:08 AM   #102
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
Your humble tour guide...dead sexy!

Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 08:10 AM   #103
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
Looking out at the edge of the world.

If you go beyond the horizon, you'll fall right off the world...and land in Kansas

Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 08:14 AM   #104
selkins
No hay banda!
 
selkins's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: The Frozen North
Oddometer: 1,487
Fess up: You ARE Bill Bryson writing under an assumed identity (and fake self-portrait), aren't you?

Triple-gold-star for comedic writing style. I'm entirely hooked.
__________________
“How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It's simple. I drink the blood of young runaways.” - Shatner

Mid-America -- Ozarks (Darkrider) -- Lake Superior Circle Tour -- NW US -- Labrador -- Big Bend (Darkrider) -- Yukon/Dempster Hwy -- WTX/NNM/SCO
selkins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 08:34 AM   #105
Hondarider OP
Hero of the Stupid
 
Hondarider's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Oddometer: 613
Quote:
Originally Posted by selkins View Post
Fess up: You ARE Bill Bryson writing under an assumed identity (and fake self-portrait), aren't you?

Triple-gold-star for comedic writing style. I'm entirely hooked.
That's funny. My mother picked up A Walk In the Woods years ago because she saw it was about the Appalachian Trail and she's an avid hiker/outdoorsman (woman) and a serious bookworm. She read part way through it and was completely turned off by his writing and sense of humor. I had never heard of her not finishing a book before - even terrible ones were read to completion on the off chance of redemption late in the story. She gave me the book and I loved it. I guess I get my sense of humor from my father...and I guess that's why they've been divorced for 25 years.
Hondarider is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Share

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

.
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


Times are GMT -7.   It's 06:00 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ADVrider 2011-2014