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Old 09-06-2013, 05:22 AM   #19
mka OP
Gnarly Adventurer
 
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Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 264
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well spotted sherlock windmills holmes................well spotted indeed..........i owe you some kind of explanation now don't i..............hmmmmm
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it goes like this
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as part of my reintegration back into society after having done some daft and dangerous and stupid things in the past and having run foul of the law on a few previous occasions i undertook to do some hours of work for various farmers in lieu of time to be served etc etc etc
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so i guess this started me on my ruinous road to infatuation with bovines and such..........this didn't happen overnight..........it was very gradual..........a glance..........a shove............and then the smell...........i know ladies like the smell of horses and even horse manure..........it pleases them (try some horse scent next time with your lady friends............you will be surprised at the interest you will receive).............well the bovine smell started to please me...............i had been on maybe 10 to 12 farms and my hours of service were complete, but..........i wanted more time on the farm..............so the farmers let me do extras in return for hearty breakfasts and rolls in the hay with their daughters............a very suitable arrangment was in place.......
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then when rubbing some of the cows ears just a tickle really...........one of these tags fell out on the ground...........i could see the way they were speared into the poor things ears and thought why not take them all off...........of course the idea grew and filled over a few pints of the black stuff..........till i was laughing to myself in the corner of the bar......i know..........i can fuck with the whole system.............as i had access to 12 farms i cut off the tags of some cows and moved them to other cows in other farms.............it was a bit daft but i had fun and one day reading the local farmers journal........i knew the shit had hit the fan........front page at local mart a ferocious row erupted between two farmers who were selling and it came to blows...............mother of god it got hot and heavy as neither liked the other anyways............so i eased off on this fun practice...............all i had needed was a tagging gun and a few plastic bones to make the whole thing kick off..........!!
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and that, dear windmills is why the number is on both cows......................!! but well spotted none the less...............smart guy.......!! but don't you think the young fresian (black and white) is a real hunny ?
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and i have since stopped this practice and will deny all
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but as your name is windmills and you do like the tigger i went and put this pic together
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i know they are not strictly windmills but it is as close as you get round these parts...........and they make a massive racket......very noisy....!!
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Scooby.................i sincerely thank you for being on the lookout re. my infernal itch and for recommending this treatment
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.......actually i was recommended this by my local curate quite some time ago when we both were a shade under the weather............but i have to tell you Scooby................it tastes like shit............i couldn't keep it down (the genitrex that is) and i had terrible bad breath for nearly a month after swigging it........!!
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so the itch continues.............and it is getting redder and scabbier...........i've been using other potions but frankly none of them taste much good.
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Gham...............it is good to make your acquaintance............i appreciate your candid comments, suggestions and such anytime.............it seems to me a lonely furrow to mow here in the arsehole of the world but ADV makes it all worthwhile.........in case you haven't realised, most of this is thread is just the ravings of a ex depressive bipolar numpty with not much between the ears................but great to think someone reads this nonsense..........!!
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i have to go now - one of my friends has called over and he wants us to go out to play................bye for now
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