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Old 05-12-2014, 03:23 PM   #166
Bendernz
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Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
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"the toastie was fu*kin' brutal in the extreme, i couldn't ate it and i was very very hungry..................but the porter was nectar, divine, fulfilling, delicious........it lasted but a moment but its legacy was pure genius"

Utter briliance, don't ever stop you mad Irish bugger.
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Old 05-16-2014, 07:39 AM   #167
mka OP
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Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 205
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hey dude (sham) from the inverted ireland.................i sometimes think your mega country in some tiny ways mirrors ours but you got so much much more...........!! hope you and your new zealander countrymen and ladies are doin' all right !
most of the time Bendernz i do think i'm just talking to myself, actually i am talking to myself most of the time, but most of the time i don't think anyone else hears me talking to myself (!?) you know what i mean ?!
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sham is local for 'mate/friend/chap/old boy' etc
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flick the switch in da head.................................aaaaaaaaaaaaa ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........!!!
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sooooooooooo
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me humour is a bit up today....................cos it's...........................dry................ .......!!! wooohhoooooo............!!! a dry day today !!
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a rare beast is the dry day here, a rare day indeed !
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spaking of rare....................what about this for confusion..........saw it a while back...............hmmmmmmmmm
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a nice picture of 'da harses in da field' if ya get ma drift...........but on closer inspection it looks as if there is an imposter, a hoor in drag so to spake.................an undercover fbi or 'g' man in a funny suit of sorts....................hmmmmmmmmmm..........or are me eyes as fu*ked up as the rest of me ?
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beee da hokey, dat's no fookin' harse, no sir tis not, not one bit, no !
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just cos this buck has a big harn on his head, he thinks he's the cat's pajamas..............'look at me big harn' he's saying.......'look !'
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being ris and all...............i showed him mine..............he explained he had two harns on his head and that just aboot ended the chat.
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if he is a 'g' man..............well, he's doin' a great job.............pretending to be riding the simple ould oirish mares and the lady harses too !!
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right then..............where was i before this, oh yeah, i took another (obviously) trip out for a day in the environs within reach of a couple of hours.
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i thought why not head to 'rossbeg'.....................so i did.........................wee place never was there before and the sun was out and spring was rising in the loins..............and every other miserable fu*ker was at mass, this being a sunday and all, and so the roads would be relatively quiet until just after the communion (the part where the mad ones at mass queue up to ate a bit of what they think is meat, human meat, but made is to taste a bit like..........bread !............genius idea that one, really spot on.............lets pray to this good kind charitable decent honourable innocent man...........and then.....................lets eat him..................wooohoooo...........!!)
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rossbeg is on western reaches of the big squiggly county of donegal/dun na ngall/tir conaill in the north whest of this wee island.
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after a good wee bit o'roidin' i eventually popped up near ardara/ard an ratha and slowed down for a rest.
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all kinds a midgies/flies/wasps/moths etc were making themselves available to me helmet and as i was getting hungry i would just open the visor...............it's a pit of a pot luck thing, but absolutely full of protein....................the furry bits are not the best though !
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i had to stop for the breakfast 'of champions' as you bucks call it
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i was still a bit'een thirsty as it was warming up................mass was in full swing..............singin' and alleluia and wooohoooo..........!!!
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so i made my way (again) to where the divil's own be hangin' oot..............just for a wee sip of the black, just one.
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short while later i fetch up here but the shaggin' tide is out..................woulda been nice for it to have been waitin on me for a good photo and all that.
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this looked to be a grand spot right enough, but no pubs or shops, not even a church, was nearby so i moved on a bit further
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and of course in this septic isle you are never too far from the holy stuff, it's under every bush, if only you could get at the bush, but that's a whole other chapter.............hmmmmmmmmmmm
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so now for some pictures of a clear day ! drum roll.................................!!!
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a bit about the bike.....................it's grand and the colour is not so bad ! and there's loads of buttons !
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so i was in and about rossbeg...............mission accomplished...................no one much about for such a great day !
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i was tooling along the back roads and all of a sudden i could hear a ferocious argument going on.............it was terrible loud altogether.
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i pulled over to the hard shoulder (hah !) and killed the engine.
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total silence ! hmmmmmmmmmmmmm !
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and then it started up again.................mother of god.................roaring and bellowing it was !
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so i looks around and sure enough, up on top of a hill i sees two of them and them all shouting and swearing at each other...wtf is going on here
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i roared up at them to quieten down or i'd call the guards and not to be using profanities in case children would hear...well, that just drove the female about stupid................she fu*ked me out of it.........her in her fancy ponytail and him just standing there looking as pissed off as i was getting, so i gave her the universal single finger salute and go back on me bike............jesus but i felt sorry for him but then again she was very cute looking with her hair all done up
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so i head on towards a wee village called portnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo !
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nice wee place with a pier and beach and all
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i think the mobbed out beach is called nairn/narin/n'w'arin or such.........................packed out it was !
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of course by now the righteous would be spilling forth from the high pitched places of worship.............all would be well in their worlds...............kindness and decency would have seeped into their minds with having being praying and all...............good christian thoughts towards their fellow man and such..............a calm mellowness you get only from the meditation and burning of incense and listening to the words of the good book...............................!!
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this calm feeling and general empathy towards our fellow man usually lasts and lasts, usually until at least they get from the church to the car park, until the queue starts to build to get out of the car park.............by the time our holy rollers get to the road they have lost already thrown in the towel, just like last week, they push/shove to get outta there first.............push through to get their newspapers and by the time they get home for the sunday dinner all traces of common decency have once again retreated and disappeared, for another week at least. and so it goes................... lordy lordy lordy.............................wooohooooooooooo ooo..............!!!
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as mister rawlings says to the gas monkeys...........................let her rip, tate chip.........................!!!!
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well, as you can probably see from some of the pictures, it is voting time again.......................give me your number one !
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i tell them all they get my number one, every single one.......................it makes everyone happy...............personally i would shoot every damn one of them........................scum is the polite term i am looking for here...................they are like those 'cicada' thing you got there in the old US.................come up from under ground every so many years, shouting and hollering and generally getting in the way and eventually they disappear again until you forget they ever were.......................and then it all starts over !
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but.................there is one i would vote for...................i very near fell off when i saw this poster of this candidate..............!
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i know nothing about her......................but she will be getting it for sure
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it is indeed, time for change !
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so, soon i pitched up in donegal town and stopped for a while...................spotted some old grey bikers trying to pick up some nubile young things right there in the middle of town for all to see !
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having witnessed the above i decided to forget women and concentrate on some history so i moved off down by the water to see and old friend i had known from long ago...............he used always be green with envy at most everything....................but now he's just green
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meet mr o'donnell, mr aodh rua o'donnell (that's red hugh as sasanach)
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near by himself is an old monastery where some old books were partly written.......400 or so years ago..........called the annals of the four masters...................these were holy bucks from the long ago who were entrusted to transcribe stories to paper and as most of the paddies couldn't write, it was left to these 4 bucks to put it all on paper...................now, if it were up to me and i was one of the four and i was writing the stories for posterity and as a record of genuine history.....................well, as the paddies couldn't write and the paddies couldn't read.................who the fu*k knows where reality starts and ends..............................hmmmmmmmmmm !
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the monastery is in ruins now thanks to our friends over in that pagan country of picts/normans/tories/anglo saxons..............!!
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as you can see from the last photo their is a big black cloud heading my way so it is time to move on outta here.
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i thank you for your time, patience and indulgence..............as always !
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Old 05-16-2014, 02:32 PM   #168
Frey Bentos
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Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Fermanagh. Ireland
Oddometer: 639
Did I meet you the other morning with the boxes on? Anyway, I saw the mighty boosh parked up today and went for a mooch around. Beautiful machine. You may have wondered about the greasy fingerprints and small bouquet of Dandy Lions fixed to the front beak with a clothes peg. All for good luck Mr.
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Old 05-16-2014, 11:52 PM   #169
windmills
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Location: London
Oddometer: 226
Yay! New posts from Mr. mka!

Made myself TWO cups of tea this fine morning, to sit down and enjoy fine writing and beoootiful photography.
Love your work man, keep it up fella!
__________________
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Old 05-19-2014, 09:51 AM   #170
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 205
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tanks fur da nice tings yuse be sayin abut me writin n de drawin's n picturs.
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luv's de tea me.............nuttin' like de tea for settlin' u duwn ndat right dere wundymillls....de tea tis quare n good tack, tis, tis !
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wan a dem dandy lyon atin' muggerfuggers must've made off wif' the luvlyluvly flours.............the bassterrd.............but tanks for da kinda thoughts anyways
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. dandy lyons...............don't ya just love 'em..........!!!..............i like dem
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piss de beds we useta call dem in da owl days.....................aahhhhh da owl days................i missta owl days, i does.
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twas a good ting i got done dere a while back a positive note sorta, i got the harsie blissed by da buck in da black dress cos ah was oot toolin aboot da place...........figured just go in an talk to da man n'all
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ah was parked outside a da church..............anna went in to da church to see da man.............ah didn' notice da angels wif one a ma balls and da udder wan wavin' aboot like a mad ting cos she dropped da udder wan an it got broke............whadoidonow..ha ?
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ah turns round like an dere's loads o da angels all over da place..............ere, dere an everiwheir.............but one o ma balls was all burstid an broke..............
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ah wint back inta da priwst ta complain about ma broke ball anna he sint me to do a bitofa pilgrimage.........to prey like to git ma ball fixed like
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i wint on da pilgrimige upda hill follawed signs an all
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was ours n ours preyin' n'all to da god n'all................but no good like no good t'all
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no bawls here eitther...........nare a wan, no
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well, i was near dun in with preyin' dry oul throat from a repeatin' o da rasoaries..............but no gud twas...........only de wan ball now
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i wint dis place n dat..............here n dere.................dis well............dat sign..............nare a fec*kin good t'all....no
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ah wint up da calvary like........like da babie jesus himself like............but no good, no
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ah was gettin' nowhere..........ah wud just be a havin' de wun ball i wus tinkin'..........
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wat du i till da wif aboot it..............she'll fu*kin' have me udder ball for saisages fur sure now............i'm rigt crocked now iamsoiam.
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now ivea blissed harsie..............an only wan ball..............whatafu*kindayout dat was
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i sup'ose dat trip all n'all was a bitofa balls really.............but sur' twas goodtobeoutanyways...........tis allways gooodtobeoutindeedntis.
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Old 05-20-2014, 02:01 AM   #171
mka OP
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Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 205
de luvly dandy lyons...

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de befor dandy lyon
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an de after dandy lyon
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and for the botany class, de daisy
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editors note insert.

mka now going offline and back into rehab for short while to, well to, to just get it together. it's been going a big off kilter these last few days. i know you will be concerned and wish mka well while recuperating and getting the benefit of mild electric sensations.
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Old 07-25-2014, 09:09 AM   #172
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 205
electric massage

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"are you a feckin' man or a basterdin' mouse ??" she roared at me for the umteenth fu*kin' time.
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i could barely squeak the reply..............."squeak squeak" dribblin' "....mouse" says i
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"im a feckin mouse, a Mouse..........M O U S E.............!!!..................ye haverin ould bitch"
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and again ..............zzzzzzzzzzzttt.......... another massage of voltage
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out like a light....or lit up inside like a light...........the shocks were receding again and then the muscle spasms ease sloowly
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speaking of mice, i nearly went over this little buck today but he was toast anyway..................hmmmmm roadkill !
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as mouseys go this one was on the large side, see how small the bike is in comparison
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the poor wee hoor hadn't a chance on this five lane freeway, i gathered him up and gave him a decent burial as befits one of natures least offensive creatures......................it took a while for him to sink..................hahahahahaha........!!!
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well, i'm kinda back, not in the rudest of health but the brain is definitely on a better spinning cycle for now.
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a few carefully chosen drugs................a little zap here and there.............a promise to avoid alcohol and lumps of coal (!)
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and the doctor thinks i will sail quietly into the sunset, at least he hopes so !
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been reading all your shit in the meantime...............some of you could be best described as 'holy' and the rest of you well, 'holey' is the more accurate term i'd use
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by the way who the f*ck is 'obadaiah' or 'zebediah' or whatever, he seems to writ large in the state of the union these fermenting days of summer ?
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my dreams are occupied by all sorts of old testament types since the onset of my weekly massages, bucks that would scare the bollox off any one of you macho, bike riding, hedonistic boyos !..............like this feller
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or even this foul mouthed devil worshippin' slime bucket
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i better put in a picture of a bike or two here or my ass will be grass with the admin dudes (we salute you guys !)
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i took a couple of short trips in this wee country and will relate some of the utter nonsense that unravelled itself over the duration of said trips, but until then 'good luck' as we say here !
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Old 07-25-2014, 02:01 PM   #173
Frey Bentos
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Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Fermanagh. Ireland
Oddometer: 639
Cough...That's a shrew. And a pretty tame one, I'd say.
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Old 07-25-2014, 02:05 PM   #174
Bendernz
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Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Oddometer: 521
And here was I thinking just yesterday that it was about time we heard from mka again. Good to see yerself was listening.

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Old 07-27-2014, 06:42 AM   #175
Chris K
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Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Northumberland, UK.
Oddometer: 670
Nice to see you back.

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