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Old 07-15-2008, 12:13 AM   #1
vermin OP
unrepentant thinner
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Joined: Jan 2007
Oddometer: 542
San Diego to Anchorage: The Grapes of Rat

The Grapes of Rat

“A good plan executed violently today is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” -General George S. Patton Jr.

“A vague plan executed on the internet while your wife is hollerin at the dumb ass cute boy on Survivor is the best of all.”-Vermin

So there I sat in my cubicle, the American dream appeared to be well on the way into taking one of its periodic majestic swan dives into a barrel of shit and I was contemplating myself into a grade A Midwest rust bowl funk. It seemed no matter how many belligerent 400lb misdirected youths got tazed on Cops my attitude did not improve. It was time to do something ludicrous and poorly planned.

I did the only rational thing a person concerned about global warming could do, I got on the internet and signed up to burn up liquefied dinosaurs like a frat boy at 10 cent beer night.

Plan number A (leg 2)

San Diego to Anchorage

The Players

Left to right:

Vermin - cube dwelling geek, paws feverishly at his keyboard for 40 hours a week trying to exceed his internal and external customers increasing expectations (so that the occasional food pellet will fall on his cedar chips in a sick experiment in behavioral psychology that has B.F. Skinner smiling behind gods one way mirror). Notice original Cack has a minked out gas tank circa 1995 predating the stunt boyz furred out stunt bikes by at least 5 years.

Drifter - innocent victim of last summers adventure. (

Dollbaby - saw the light of day for the first time 9 minutes after drifter in 1994. 3.5 lbs of high class lady. The first time I met her she grabbed my thumb like a throttle. Her little translucent fingers were so small they didn't make it all the way around. I was informed last winter that she wanted to go on an excellent adventure. With my adventurin bike stuffed in Unks garage in San Diego near the border of Mexico that left only one logical choice, Anchorage.
I thought the county family services agency would take her away from me for doing such a brutal trip so I tried to talk her down to a leasurely putt to Seattle or Missoula but she was having none of it. Game on.

Cohorts of sorts

Ant - A good woman in trying circumstances. Her sister married this clown that keeps showing up and messing up her routine.

Unk - Nice guy, big shooter, no doubt filled in his vacation request online without printing it out and scribbling all over it. The world needs people like this. He can pay attention to stuff for hours and he has been well rewarded. Needless to say my entire scenario makes him kweezy (sp)*

*my daygum computer tells me when a word is spelled wrong with those cute skwiggly underlines and then doesn't tell me how to fix it so let this be the big spelling disclaimer. Nearly every word from here on out will be misspelled at my leasure.

Stay Tuned

vermin screwed with this post 10-07-2008 at 04:45 AM Reason: disoriented
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