Are you Prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse?

note to self-wear boots during ZA.

world war Z (the book) had a part about that in the chapter about Yonkers

What he's holding is called a "naginata". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naginata

Gotta like a government with a sense of humour

note to self- In the future just refer to hand-held very sharp slicey-cutty things!

further note to self- supersede promoting all non-power operated hand-held very sharp slicey-cutty things with the less tiring motor-driven extra-long reach hand-held powered long-reach rippey-cutty things.



illustration of 43cc hand-held powered long-reach rippey-cutty thing

You get tree-climbing (or over moat) zombie hordes making trouble and my hand-held powered long-reach rippey-cutty thing will be superior to your naginata any day.




Now, take this double-ended chainsaw-pole thing (above) - one can take out a zombie infront & behind with no effort.


Now, as to all you gun fans. What do you do when your favorite ballistic toy jams, or runs out of ammo?



If you lack a good zombie-slicing chainsaw bayonet attachment, you're likely plain zombie fodder.

I need one of those!

Zombies or Hostile Flying Objects (HFOs), this cigar-chomping chap has the answer:




A good ole Triple-Gatling hand-portable weapon.




If in doubt just over-compensate.


When plain cordite isn't lighting your wick any longer, its time to upgrade . . . electrically . . .



18 Shot Repeat Coilgun

Somewhat different from Railguns are what are termed Coilguns.
Coilguns

On my Christmas List

Yet another Chainsaw Bayonet.

A Chainsaw Bayonet Strapped to an AR-15 Rifle is the Ultimate Zombie Killing Weapon


(note: Do not open the next link if someone easily offended is nearby and can view YOUR screen . . . . particularly if that person is your boss! You have been warned)
"Do You see what THAT is?"


Discussion: Is chainsaw a practical weapon?


(from Zombie Survival wiki)

But, says you, "I want a really BIG chainsaw!"



"No - no - no," says you. "A really BIG chainsaw!"

Well?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f1/Ditch_Witch_HT330_Track_Trencher_Stationary.jpg
(1500 x 996 pixel image)

"Now you're talking!"

I see a future business opportunity when the SHTF... ZBG! Zombie be gone.

wait a minute....NO CAB? forget it!

yes i am, thanks for asking

good. you're not too far by boat from my location. zombies don't swim. we can work together.

That problem is not hard to remedy-



Just retro-fit one Operator Cab for Heavy Machinery, preferably with the optional Anti-Zombie Intrusion Cage.

. . . . . .

Side note- I did look into the concept of attaching a layer of Zombie Paper, but concluded that just ripping off the skin from a zombie may not really slow it down.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!

Just looking further-

Top 5 Pros & Cons Regarding an Underwater Site as a Zombie Defense

Liked the responses on that site. Scariest thing in the sea? Zombie "SHARKS! or worse, BLUE WHALES! or worse, GIANT ZOMBIE SQUID!"

http://roberthood.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Sea_Monsters_by_LDN_RDNT.jpg
(1134 x 799 pixel image)

What is not so funny for males:



Zombie Street Walker

...she may give you a whore-able fright when she suggests oral-genital contamination . . . for a small fee.

AND Air conditioning! !

I reached some intermediate conclusion as to protection and fighting zombies.

• Wearing a good sharkproof suit (with built-in temperature management), and topped with good fullface helmet with reinforced visor & rearview mirrors (possessing some nightvision capability) with enhanced neck-protection (covers that gap). . . for starters. Food, Drink and Sleep Carapace Backpack to keep healthy. Back-up batteries for power-weapons also packed in this.

• A variety of offensive weaponry - main contender: Telescopic Quarterstaff with pop-out chainsaw tip (with backup machete tip for when the fuel is depleted).
• Backup weaponry for close combat - a good Capt America type shield with pop-out centrespike, power cutters & hackers, plain machete & long bowie knife. Most of this stuff slung over shoulder or on belt.
• A telescopic baton with pop-out blade tips is the final hand-held weapon (carried on belt), but the hands & wrists have folding (wrist-mounted) wrap-around bash-blade (Right Hand) and Telescopic Over-fist Cookie Cutter (Left Hand). These wrist-mounted weapons are the non-discardable final Close Fight & Escape items. They also protect one from being immobilized, through handcuffing, by Zombie-sympathetic Police & Security Staff.

• Secondary weaponry - to slow or incapacitate hordes of zombies to facilitate escape: including slippery foam aerosol dispensers, vision & sound blocking cloud aerosol dispensers, and plain old flash grenades.

Now have I omitted anything?

• Hmmm! Those Kangaroo Spring Leg-things for enhanced speed on foot, height, and mobility. Need to be quick-discard (velcro?) for when one's knocked down. Oh, yes - Some Padding for impact protection.

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So that's the initial version of vortexau- Zombie Fighter. (Worthy of a comic-book?)
(Late inclusion - that pop-out centrespike on the shield does a spring-open Scissors-effect .. hard to explain .. but capable of splattering the impaled head of a zombie- sort of self-cleaning!)