A Plea For Assistance -- And A Potential Opportunity

Many of you know that the venerable Twinkie, that sign of all that is wrong with the modern diet here in the states has suffered an untimely demise. On this news, US shelves have been stripped bare of the gooey snack cake, and a US-made Twinkie is commanding a princely sum on the black market.

Indications are that the Twinkie is still being manufactured under license in Montreal. Help your brothers and sisters across the border! The Berlin Airlift will have nothing on the Twinkie Pipeline.

We're done with being your crutch, the ones who bail your asses out all the time.

Go home yankee, we don't want your kind around here.

Hey, if they want that stuff down south let them have it. It'll mean less consumption of said substance up here which will result in less strain on our health care system. Let ObamaCare deal with the consequences of Twinkie consumption.
A chance for someone to make a buck or three: Twinkie export.

Don't slap me, eh? I voted for the Canada Party this election, and I feel really bad about the whole Avro (Canada) Arrow business.

I'm a Canadian stuck in an American body.

I prefer Timmy's Glazed Sour Cream or the French Cruller, thanks.

We Western Cdns try to avoid any business dealings Quebecuois. Sorry, can't help.

By Jingus, we appear to have unearthed a mult-national conspiracy here. It's certain that the long claws of Ottawa are reaching into our simon-pure American snack food industry. What's next? Will the all-dressed chip supplant Honey Barbecue? Will we be offered poutine at our local McDonalds? I do not like it, Sam-I-Am. We'll be forced to eat smoked meat and pay HST next, and they'll take away our guns.

Montreal is no more part of Canada than New York City is part of the US. They both exist in a different reality. Most of Quebec is pretty mellow. I love the Townships. They'll send us Twinkies.

That's a comment that will get this booted to CSM for sure. Sorry, but at at least I was here before the move.

The French ones taste even better.
Stay away.

You'll be wanting us to smuggle in Coffee Crisp and Ketchup Chips.

Naah, we can get those here. There's even a little diner that smuggles St. Hubert gravy for their poutine not too far away. I'm on the border of Orleans County, VT, aka "little Quebec." Before 9/11, no one really thought of the border as an impediment.

We'll trade you cheap gasoline and Marlboros for Twinkies, however.

Twinkies, meh. You haven't lived until you've had a Jos. Louis (aka Mad Dog Vachon Cake) with a Pepsi for breakfast.

You guys need to step up a notch in your gourmet tastes. Butter tarts and nanaimo bars! Twinkies are for tw ... well lemme just say that even the black bears up here won't eat 'em out of the garbage, and they'll eat just about anything. Even Y&S licorice cigars with real 'fire' on the end are better.

The best breakfast in Quebec.

Jos Louis ...altough I am more of a Demi Lune type of guy, sure ate lots of them Jos Louis, fresh off the Patisseries Vachon delivery truck. That was only 30 miles or so from my home town. And then once in a while we'd drive through Sainte Marie de Beauce and stop at the Patisseries Vachon store to buy "seconds" by the box.

Wal Mart sells some of that stuff in BC....always stale.

There was a patisserie in Magog called "Gaby" years ago. We'd cross the border just to visit it. The mille feuilles were worth the drive. Darn place burned to the ground.

However, we're not discussing flavor in regards to Twinkies. I haven't eaten one since the 1970s, and frankly haven't missed them at all. They are a matter of national security. What other food will sustain us through the Zombie Apocalypse as noted previously? They require no particular special storage. There is no such thing as a "stale Twinkie." Cockroaches shy away from them. When you needed an instant burst of energy to decapitate a Zombie, though, Hostess had your back. No more.

It's a sad age we live in, indeed.

What store can I ride up to and grab a box? (just for the ride of course).

I'm thinkin' just become of them, and eat brains. They're not half bad with lots of mayo and onions.

High in cholesterol and leads to Mad Cow Disease. Almost as bad as Twinkies.

I should have just kept my childhood memory of Twinkies.

When I heard the news, I bought some at the corner store to share with my wife. When I bit into it, I was truly disappointed. The cake did not have that sweet, trans-fat flavor that I remember, and the frosting inside was literally the diameter of a pencil. My first thought was "no wonder they are going out of business".

I started to go buy some Zingers, then decided to keep that memory intact...

You can have all the Twinkies but keepa you hands off my butter tarts!