Ride Apart: Ten Dumbest Things You can do on a bike... ADD some more

Come to a complete stop at a red light, go to put foot out. Discover too late that Shoelace is looped around shift lever. Fall over.

Casually flick kickstand out like 1000 times before and in one swift and fluid move dismount bike and lean it away on to stand, which has retracted and just . watch . bike . slowly . fall . out . of . your . flailing . grasp .

Start and idle your new to you DR350 in the driveway while it's in neutral and on the side stand. Have a brain fade and decide to depress the rear brake lever while standing next to the bike. Note that the owner had just removed the side stand safety switch. Depress the brake lever, only realize you are ON THE WRONG SIDE AND YOU'VE JUST CLICKED IT INTO FIRST GEAR. Watch said bike take off across the driveway and run into the side of the house.....

Riding a recent trade in home for lunch. A 1971 Triumph TR6C. (right handed shift) Go for the rear brake and shift down a gear then proceed to lift on the actual rear brake peddle and wonder why the hell it wont shift to the next gear.

Coming home from a very long day at work and my fuel light went on. I had to get up early for another long day the next day so decided to get fuel before heading home. Got home (apartment complex) and all the good spots where taken and I had to park on a hill. Went to park, put my foot down and realized I was a foot short. Bike went over.

Lucky no one was watching. No damage no worries :)

In my stupid twenties, got pretty drunk after work. But it's a little 50cc scooter so what's the worst that could happen. It was a horrible snowy and icy night.

It's like 2 am, slicker than snot & COLD. And I'm drunk so being SUPER careful and diligent. Make it 10 miles and right before my house come to a stop sign, and just "forgot" to put foot out. SLOWLY fall over wondering what is happeni n g....



In My stupid(er) 30's decide I need a video. Also pretty drunk, but decide it's only like 3 blocks so decide to risk it. Get off bike & lose balance & Bike falls over in parking lot of video store.

Takes pretty much all the strength I have to pick it up, but forgot to put down kickstand lose balance again and drop bike other way.

booze and bikes don't mix

We had club member arrive at a BMW rally, dismount his bike right at registration, and start yelling "I need a mechanic, I need a mechanic!" He got everyone's attention, because he was frantic about how poorly his bike had been running for the last 200 some miles. He felt something was terribly wrong and needed help,...NOW!

Someone, not a mechanic, walked up to his bike, gave it a quick glance and said, "you always ride with the choke fully on?"

About done after a long day and while doing the pocket check panic because your moto key is nowhere to be found. Slowly realize that you probably left it in the bike. Have another panic attack because some one probably stole your bike since you were kind enough to leave the key in it for them. Get out to the bike relieved that it is still there only to realize you left the key on and your battery is dead. It's cold out and it takes a good 4 tries to push start the damned thing, usually with an audience.

This happened a couple of times until I got one the "Remove Before Flight" lanyards. Who am I kidding it still happens occasionaly. :huh

A buddy did that to his R90/6 on a ride once, right at the gas station where we met for the ride. His bike started bucking and smoking and somehow he made it to his cousins a couple of miles down the road. As soon as he opened his gas cap he knew what he did from the smell. He borrowed some tools from his cousin, removed the tank, dumped the diesel and drained the fuel lines and float bowls. Borrowed a gallon of gas, back to the gas station for a proper fill, and we were on our way with no ill effects.

I still tease him about that. Of course I have done many other stupid things on a bike so he teases me right back.

Rick G

In the late sixties I had a BSA Goldstar that had belonged to a nationally ranked flat tracker (Don Kiger); it had 13 to 1 compression. Parked it on my parent's car-port and forgot to retard the spark before kicking it. Luckily I was wearing a helmet, but the helmet still put a sizeable dent in the low ceiling of the carport.

I had just spooned new knobbies on the Husky. Gas it down the wet blacktop driveway. Zero traction, can't stop, pumping the brake lever and pedal skidding and sliding heading for the street. My neighbor is coming down the street and stops to watch the whole thing. I manage to get on the grass where traction is better and I circle around back to the garage like the whole display was intentional.

When I was younger me and a mate used to build rat bikes,( really bad survival bikes) we would look about for bikes that where either free or came with much cheapness, one day we picked up an xs250 that needed pretty much everything but could be made to look whole with an exhaust/handlebars and a tank. We got a tank from the scrappies and but a set of old bars from the parts bin but we did,nt have an exhaust, the exhaust that was on the bike was shredded and really only the core was intact, whilst having a lengthy 30 second think about it I came apon the idea that a Heinz baked bean can was really just the same as a silencer, and that with my fabulous fabricating skills I could make a new silencer out of the can, this was done and fitted to the bike in under 1 hour,(we had to have beans on toast to get rid of the evidence) one of the things we had not realised though was that the exhaust was VERY loud, another brain storming session and it was agreed that some form of packing was needed, as packing is really just steel wool:eek1 I instructed my mate to just whip it off and put some in, some hours later sitting having a relaxing evening with the GF the door go's and low and behold its the mate looking quite upset and smelling like a chemical fire, it seems that he had but Brilo pads in the exhaust,(these are those steel wool pads that are impregnated with soap and used for cleaning dirty pots n pans), he had taken the bike out for a test ride when a guy on a beemer passed him pointing at his head and making the universal nutcase sign then pointing at the rear of the bike, when the mate looked behind him he said there was a 10 foot flame coming from the exhaust, he stopped and tried to put the flames out with his quality bike gloves,(cheap and nasty ski gloves) these having a burning napalm like substance went up as well, now that was 25 years ago and he still has the gloves as a reminder that there is no substitute for good quality bike gloves.
P.S. his hands where fine and we got the bike quicky style into a van and down to his parents garage, so if your where riding a K series up laurestan place in Edinburgh all those years ago....it wisnae me.

Start bike in parking lot at work at the end of the day. As you pull out of your parking spot you pull in the clutch to pause and speak with a co-worker. Regional Director (the Big Boss) walks by and you give him a casual wave........with your left hand. Bike lurches forward and stalls, RD looks at you like you're a moron. Re-start bike and sheepishly ride away.

Whoever wrote the article worries way too much about people looking at him.

+1

1. everyone is suddenly looking at you
2. stop admiring yourself
6. Some of the drivers are checking out you and your bike...looking like a chump
7. knowing your neighbors may be watching you
9. Everyone is still watching you


nlp

So my boy is riding his little PW50, around my place, while his sisters are playing with the little neighbor girls. As he's riding past them, he glances over to see if the girls are "checking him out". Naturally, he drifts(left) and runs right up under our trampoline. The chin-bar on his helmet catches the trampoline bar and he's drug off his motorcycle, while the PW50 continues rolling for a few more yards. oser

I watched it unfold but couldn't stop it. Best lesson he's ever learned, while riding. Almost as good as when he rode his XR70 into the pond. When he stood up and water came pouring out of his helmet.

As for me, my first ride was a moped(with pedals) that had a sticky throttle, that worked like a cruise control. I was taking a short cut down a gravel sidestreet, when a lady backed out in front of me. I grabbed a handful of front brakes and went right over the top of that moped. I wasn't laughing that day.

Same moped, my brother was riding it in a grassy field and lows-sided. He was wearing shorts and by the time I got the moped off of him, he had a 2nd degree burn. I've never heard a person scream in such agony. :eek1

Took my boy moto camping, 2-up, just after he turned 5. The little varmint got sleepy about 60 miles from home and it took us about 3 hours to get home, for all the starting and stopping. Took a couple trips before I realized I needed a camping van and trailer. Now he can sleep all he wants and ride his own ride, when we get to where we're going.

nlp

Done that. Guy I was riding with pulled up to a stop and said, loudly, "DUMB ASS". Then realized he was in the same boat, and did the same thing.

Was coming home a few weeks ago from a trip and got a little tickle in the back of my throat. So, I turned my head an coughed at bit. In my FF helmet. At 75mph...

I do this all the time. Do you usually hack up phlegm or something, because otherwise I'm not really seeing the problem.