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Old 08-10-2014, 12:48 AM   #1
Mark_S OP
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Location: Kapiti NZ
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And the ultimate twat of the day award goes to....

So I'm riding through Shannon this evening (dark and raining) following a car that's sitting at the 50k speed limit and some numpty in an old rav4 pulls directly out in front of the car I was following without indicating and proceeds down the road at 30k/hr.

The main road swings hard left in the main street and as soon as he gets around the corner mr numpty stop dead in the middle of our lane hard against the white line.

We wait 5 seconds or so and I get annoyed so I pull out to the right and ride slowly passed the car that I was following.

As I reach mr numpty he decides to turn right into the pub carpark (without indicating or checking) - right in front of me.

I give the sv a big rev which snaps him back into this universe and pull up along side his open window and loudly use lots of words that start with the letter f.

Round about now God looks down and says 'Mark I've warned you about being an impatient self-righteous twat - you need a lesson....'

I gun the sv and let the clutch half out intending to demonstrate how pissed off I am by roaring off into the distance.

It sort of works except somehow the sv finds enough traction on the wet road to stand on its tail catching me completely off guard

My foot comes off the right peg and as the bike starts to tip to the right I pull the clutch and cut the throttle send the sv plummeting back to terra firma

The impact bottoms the forks and rips my right hand off the throttle and my chest lands hard on the tank. I am convinced I am completely fooked.

At this point God smirks and decides the lesson has gone far enough.....

Somehow the bike stays upright and despite wobbling all over the place is still heading vaguely in the right direction.

I get my right hand back on the throttle and my right leg back on the peg. My right wrist and right knee are both hurting like hell but there is no way I am stopping to check for damage.

I rode the rest of the way home being a shining example of the patient considerate rider

Sometimes I really really disappoint myself.......
These are the best days
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Old 08-10-2014, 01:12 AM   #2
AKA Woodman
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Old 08-10-2014, 02:45 AM   #3
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[QUOTE=Mark_S;24812217I give the sv a big rev which snaps him back into this universe and pull up along side his open window [/QUOTE]

I'm told this doesn't work...although the people telling me ride nice quiet bikes. I've always found open pipes scare the shit out of them.
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Old 08-10-2014, 12:51 PM   #4
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Old 08-10-2014, 03:48 PM   #5
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"Sometimes I really really disappoint myself......."

We've all been there
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Old 08-10-2014, 04:13 PM   #6
Doing secret stuff
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Amusing story Mark, put a smile on my face!
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Old 08-10-2014, 04:48 PM   #7
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ha ha class act!
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Old 08-10-2014, 04:52 PM   #8
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''... I didn't have my hearing aid in so I couldn't hear what he was on about, but after abusing the hell out of me he gunned his bike and wheelied off. I don't think these hot heads should be allowed out on weekends.''
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Old 08-10-2014, 04:57 PM   #9
want to be riding
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good story !
I think We have all been there ? I know I have

I think a Dirt track racer who let his temper get the better of him didn't get the "Smirk from God" and the lesson went all the way
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Old 08-10-2014, 05:00 PM   #10
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Old 08-10-2014, 06:15 PM   #11
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I usually just miss a gear.
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Old 08-10-2014, 11:21 PM   #12
Night Falcon
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Sharing this will definitely assist your body and mind in their recovery....its already helped me with mine

if slow numpty drivers frustrate you Mark don't ever move to Hawkes Bay!
My KTM 390 Adventure - we live in hope!
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Old 08-11-2014, 12:34 AM   #13
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Love it Mark - sounds like you were fortunate - could well have ended in tears - cheers S
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:09 AM   #14
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Yelling F words at a numpty through his/her open window does give one a great deal of satisfaction Reminds me of a tourist on the Haast bridge who decided he didn't need to worry about the bike already on the bridge, he even stopped and wound down his window so I could really let rip
It's a shame the wheelie didn't come off, maybe you need to practice
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:17 AM   #15
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Just another day on the bike then...
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