ADVrider

Go Back   ADVrider > Riding > Ride reports
User Name
Password
Register Inmates Photos Site Rules Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-01-2004, 10:08 AM   #151
mutineer
Raoul Duke Lives
 
mutineer's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Eastern Chaingolia
Oddometer: 18,906
a bump for all the new guys who came for "Original Advrider" pix and have yet to discover the ride reports of the pink mohawked wonder. Start the new year off with a good read.

all hail Javarilla and fuck anybody who doesn't think this is one of the best ride reports ever, anywhere.


mutineer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2004, 10:11 AM   #152
Drif10
Accredited Jackass
 
Drif10's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Gates of Moscow
Oddometer: 45,329
__________________
I guess your get up and go needs a coffee. - Drif5
Drif10 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2004, 02:35 PM   #153
Javarilla OP
Escapee
 
Joined: Mar 2002
Location: 1...
Oddometer: 23,456
Whoa! Back in the limelight!

Thanks guys. Humble bow. Queen's wave. Queen's wave.

Hey, planning an assault again in 04!

Why? Sorta hard to explain. Already scored Rabia's :rabia, which is, frankly, more than any feces flingin' ape should really aspire to. But, if you really must know, it's because I harbor a deep and abiding hatred. I admit it...

I fuckin' HATE gravity! SOMEBODY has GOT to teach that asshole a lesson!

Come on. Admit it. You're with me on this, right? Don't you just wanna run a shiv through his ribs in the towel room? I mean, just this once, to get back for all the shit he's done to you, or to draw first blood for that nasty hip surgery headed your way in 30 years? I thought so!

The ribs have healed. The wrist is workin. Da 'rilla has planed off 40lbs and is gunnin' for more. Liftin', runnin', sweatin'. Boostin' the protein shakes, grinding out the core work, and therapizin' the knackered knees. The mohawked 'rilla killa is down 30+ lbs, pumpin' more ponies, and sportin' a new clutch and MUCH lower gearing. We been eatin' dirt and ridin' roosts so we float like a 750lb butterfly. And we're both sportin' armor and our secret weapon - a handwinch - for those "special" off road moments that we share, off the trail, down the mountainside, and upside down amongst the trees. :):

Oh, that music you hear running through my head in the background - that's Eminem's "Don't Fuck with Shady." Gonna overdub "Shady" with "Rilla" and blast that shit throughout the fucking Capitol Forest for weeks ahead of time to give those poor mountains some warning. So it's a fair fight, you understand! The 'rilla's really all about giving the 'appearance' of righteous chivalry - then cheatin' like a carny when nobody's lookin'!

So, stay tuned! An 1150 should be scorin' national enduro points THIS year. After that, one sweet kiss with just a touch of tongue from the Curliebird, my favorite (and only) ((and possibly non-existent)) groupie, and I can lay down and die right there with a shiteatin' grin so broad they'll have to saw my helmet off. (That's how you tell the winners from the losers, right? The winners have those shiteatin' grins on their corpses.)

Little Bear must die!

Alright, so my ego's gonna kill me. Hey, quixotic quests and abominable failure are the BEST ingredients for a really good ride report. Besides, what's a little blood for the sake of entertainment?
Javarilla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2004, 02:49 PM   #154
kbasa
Colnago!
 
kbasa's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: Marin County, California
Oddometer: 65,656
Coincidence?

__________________
IMHO.

Fuck Cancer. Ride bikes. - dave + tina
kbasa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2004, 04:03 PM   #155
Drif10
Accredited Jackass
 
Drif10's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Gates of Moscow
Oddometer: 45,329
Go Super Monkey! You have large cojones and no common sense, that's why you're our hero!

I'm gonna be a wimp and do a couple of enduros on my LC4 Adventure. Not in the same league as our Mighty Flesh Eating Ape, but we aspire to live up to the standard you have set.


Fuck, now I've gotta get in shape...
__________________
I guess your get up and go needs a coffee. - Drif5
Drif10 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2004, 04:36 PM   #156
Javarilla OP
Escapee
 
Joined: Mar 2002
Location: 1...
Oddometer: 23,456
Re: Javanilla...
Rilla. Rilla. Roll the tongue. That's right - 'rilla, not 'nilla. Although, alas, I am a white boy, and, while I tan up real good, and my cojones may clank, (clip-on's, ya know,) the size of my favorite banana is the constant reminder of my 'nillaness. Damn you basaman - I was almost over that!

Re: No common sense...
It all Rabia's fault. She got it all started again. She's a bad influence. ALL of us has-beens should stay far, far away from her. She'll flash that smile, sparkle those dark eyes, and flip that botticelli hair, and *poof*, suddenly yer thinkin' about what you used to be, and that'll remind you of how much fun you used to have, and it's just a quick hop, skip and a jump from there to the ER.

Happy New Year, y'all. Thanks for the memories.
Javarilla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2004, 03:47 PM   #157
johnjen
Mod-U-Later
 
johnjen's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2001
Location: Seattle
Oddometer: 15,333
Quote:
Said Javarilla:
Re: Javanilla...
Rilla. Rilla. Roll the tongue. That's right - 'rilla, not 'nilla. Although, alas, I am a white boy, and, while I tan up real good, and my cojones may clank, (clip-on's, ya know,) the size of my favorite banana is the constant reminder of my 'nillaness. Damn you basaman - I was almost over that!

Re: No common sense...
It all Rabia's fault. She got it all started again. She's a bad influence. ALL of us has-beens should stay far, far away from her. She'll flash that smile, sparkle those dark eyes, and flip that botticelli hair, and *poof*, suddenly yer thinkin' about what you used to be, and that'll remind you of how much fun you used to have, and it's just a quick hop, skip and a jump from there to the ER.

Happy New Year, y'all. Thanks for the memories.


Ya mean like drif10 said "Last thought as you're locking it all up is: this is gonna hurt. To quote a wise man: earth, sky, earth, sky, ambulance."

JJ
__________________
The hidden harmony is found with joy, while the obvious brings indifference.
The farther you enter into the Truth the deeper your conviction for truth must be.
There is understanding of the world precisely to the degree that there is understanding of the Self.

WingMakers.com
Collected Works of the WingMakers Volume 1 pg. 590
johnjen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2004, 08:54 PM   #158
johnjen
Mod-U-Later
 
johnjen's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2001
Location: Seattle
Oddometer: 15,333
Quote:
Said kbasa:
Coincidence?

Or is it seperated at birth?
JJ
__________________
The hidden harmony is found with joy, while the obvious brings indifference.
The farther you enter into the Truth the deeper your conviction for truth must be.
There is understanding of the world precisely to the degree that there is understanding of the Self.

WingMakers.com
Collected Works of the WingMakers Volume 1 pg. 590
johnjen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2004, 09:07 PM   #159
Wayne Weber
why are we stopping?
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Golden CO
Oddometer: 3,854
Quote:
Said Javarilla:
Besides, what's a little blood for the sake of entertainment?
Exactly! pain is pretty temporary (less so as I get older, dammit) but life is to live, not to hide from.

woo hooo! good luck with the new and improved Javarilla Especial!
__________________
Wayne

04 KTM 950 S
93 KTM 550
93 XT225 Adventure Serow!
00 Weber Rally Twin (www.rallytwin.com)
Gas Gas 270
2 Waterbuffalo's (Sold!)
Wayne Weber is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2004, 01:31 AM   #160
Peachmaan
Boneless chicken
 
Peachmaan's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Encinitas, CA
Oddometer: 429
I know I am way to late.... but I just read your nice storry!!! BRAVE`RILLA!!
Just had to give you my "props"...
Looking 4ward to your next tour, contest entry..

Live long and prosper
Peachmaan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2004, 03:31 AM   #161
edfetz
Studly Adventurer
 
edfetz's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Hudson Valley, NY
Oddometer: 991
Roll Chart

Starting fromthe left-Distance in miles and tenths from the start in that section, Then Time in minutes from "key time" in the middle, small number at the far right is average speed for the section. Key Time- say an Enduro starts at 8:00 your are riding Row or minute 15 (4-5 guys start every minute) you set your watch 15min fast and go. Trying to stay on the pace. Got it ?? There is more to it than that but thats the main idea. Ill try to find some links that explain it better if you guys want.

Ed
edfetz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2004, 11:15 AM   #162
Pawk
.
 
Pawk's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Pittsburgh
Oddometer: 598
After reading this thread again.
Thought I would bring it back to the top.

Simply too cool.
__________________
Pawk.Smugmug

Pawk screwed with this post 05-20-2004 at 07:14 PM
Pawk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2004, 01:24 AM   #163
curtisn
n00b
 
Joined: May 2004
Oddometer: 1
OK - my first post here on advrider, but I think the GS in the Enduro class is funny as hell. The story could not have been recanted more brilliantly. I have run enduros and hare scrambles in the past on an XR 250 and used to laugh at the guys running 400+. Especially when dump time came to kick time. I applaud your even attemtpting to run the GS and would have hated to be the guys in front of you before the first checkpoint

Cheerio mr. 'zilla. I hope to see you one the trail one day...well...maybe not
curtisn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2004, 10:06 AM   #164
apeirce
So I was following Andrew
 
apeirce's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: CT USA
Oddometer: 2,722
This is great.

Awesome adventure, great telling of the story.
apeirce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2004, 07:19 AM   #165
Ostrich
Jaded and Happy
 
Ostrich's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: Fresneck or Bust Baby!
Oddometer: 8,731
Still cracks me up.
__________________
If you use Geico watch out. The buyout for my car was way below any objective figure (KBB, NADA, etc.). Also, I could not get in touch with anyone on the first try during a claim resolution.

Just because it's a zoo out there doesn't mean you have to view it from a cage!

Don't be an impulse buyer... afterall you have time..
Ostrich is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Share

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

.
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


Times are GMT -7.   It's 05:51 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ADVrider 2011-2014