Little Bear 1, Javarilla 0

[wxwax]

Said nachtflug:
where your mileage shoud be at what time.

if your behind you know to crank it up a notch.

Thanks.

[johnjen]

I just knew we were going to be in for a treat when I heard about the MOHAWK,,, My mind ran wild with the possibilities let alone the implications...

Just remember boys and girls DON'T TRY DOING ANY OF WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO READ AT HOME... do it miles and miles from nowhere..

JJ

[jclark]

Said komet:
Why not orange and blue? Combination is rather popular down in your parts I hear!

True, true, but while I consider myself pretty crazy I am not nearly as crazy as that indigenous beastie we refer to (usually in a drunken state) as the AUBURN FOOTBALL FAN!



Jim

[Pengaleng]

Said jclark:
True, true, but while I consider myself pretty crazy I am not nearly as crazy as that indigenous beastie we refer to (usually in a drunken state) as the AUBURN FOOTBALL FAN!



Jim

WAR EAGLE!!!

[FatChance]

Hey Monkey Man, you're ONLY 42? Damn, here I thought you were some kinda silverback or something, but yer just a young chimp. I do look forward to your story! Will this end with the classic "I'm getting older faster than I'm getting smarter" sort of lesson? I love stories like that!

[Javarilla]

Said jclark:
I could even "pierce" one of the turn indicators and put a ring in to complete the look.

[Javarilla]

Said FatChance:
"I'm getting older faster than I'm getting smarter"

[Javarilla]

S'alright...

So up here, they hold enduros in the foothills. Which means trees, and roots, and rocks, and blackberries, and sasquatch chicks, and mushroom gangsters, and, well, you get the picture. So, you're not gonna ride your GS in an enduro in street form. Oh no! Not unless you're made outta money, and even then, you break enough stuff and your spousal unit will never let you out on Saturday again.

So you gotta figure out how to strip the bike.

No biggie - except! - you wanna strip on site! You don't wanna be one of the pansy-asses that motorhomes their purpose built machine to the event, spends the night, and wakes up rested and ready, do ya? No! Shit! ANYONE can do that...

Real studs:
1) Get up at the crack of dawn
2) Pack
3) Ride 2 hours TO the enduro
4) Strip the bike in the staging area
5) Ride the enduro
6) Rebuild the bike in the staging area
7) RIDE 2 hours home
Where they pass out from pain...

But stripping the bike in the staging area means you can't take the full warchest - you gotta pare down to the lightest set of tools that'll get you through a stripdown and rebuild! And besides, you wanna make it look like you do this all the time. Am I right?

So you gotta run through a dry strip and take only the essentials...

First, those 520's you're so proud of because they piss Chopperman off in conspicuity arguements - they gotta go...


Those mirrors that you're so fond of staring into at stoplights because you just love to look deep into your dark brown eyes - they gotta go...


Those passenger pegs - don't wanna be a GS amputee because you gotta foot caught in a root bed in a bad chunk of footdown slop - so they gotta go...


Leave the zega bag framework on - it stiffens your rear - and chix digs a stiff rear!


But loose that rear hugger - because even at max preload, it's just a chunk of shred ready plastic...


Oh, and the karma bell, it's gotta go - that fuckin' thing is gonna drive you batty on the trail! And besides, you're gonna have your hands full dodging automatic weapons fire from psilo 'shroom freaks, you don't want a buncha little kids runnin' into your path cuz they think you're the ice cream truck...


But leave on the deer whistles. Fuckin' deer'll just as soon kill ya as look at ya...

[Javarilla]

So you pare the kit down to, say...


(I was lookin' at Diz's winter rally wishlist. Sheeeeit. I'd pay money to see him strip for next year's advrider rally.)

And you need a few other essentials. Like every Ziptie you own...


And tape! Everyone who travels with Javarilla knows that Javarilla is packin' stickum. Even the great and impressively prepared JohnJen has found himself begging the 'rilla for a little piece. It's my secret weapon. It's how I keep my riding partners in line...


And toilet paper! Can't speak for bears, but own critters near and dear to my heart do shit in the woods. And, because of the lutefisk consumption in Washington, it's one of the reason the trails around here are so slick.


And, well, you could take this...


But, truth be told, your sight lines are only good for maybe 25 to 30 feet, and the trail is too uneven to use it on the roll, so you'd have to stop to shoot - and that'll loose you time, so you can't really use it on other riders. Plus, even with magnum loads, it's not gonna bring down a 'Squatch in heat, and, as every Northwesterner has been taught since preschool - it's better to just roll over and take a little lovin' from a horny bigfoot, than make a fuss and get him all sadistic.

And, even though taking your handgun to the forest would do wonders for the home handgun fatality stats, I'm kinda old fashion and think it's best to leave things like this at home, where, along with your alcohol, porn and pot, the kids have a chance for a little hands-on home based learning, at their own undisturbed pace...

[Javarilla]

Finally you need some new togs. In this way, Rabia and I are two of a kind... We love any occasion that allows us to buy new outfits!

Because you can't ride in the forest in your leathers like some burnout harley freak...


And you don't wanna ride in your firefighter-lookin' 'stich - it'll get you chix at the checkpoints, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING sets off the black helicopter backwoodsmen faster than an official looking getup...


And, even though it's hot, SoCal style don't seem right...


NoCal offers a bit more foot protection, but...


But, what you really want, is a spiffy little getup like this...


Note the complete lack of torso protection - this'll be a factor later in our story...

[Javarilla]

Tomorrow - how hard it is to get someone at an enduro to take your money after they've seen you ride up to the registration table on a loaded GS...

[VespaFitz]

MORE, MORE!! Type faster you big gorilla!!

What, am I running in this thing?

[Pengaleng]

Thinkin' maybe you should have kept the Karma Bell...
...just seems to be heading down that road...


Hope you were not seriously hurt.
Is this going to be a 45+ page ride report like Natchflug's?:oogle

[FatChance]

Good stuff, Monkey Man! Are those Alpinestars Tech 6 or Tech 8?

[Snail-Darter]

Great wite up so far keep it flowing - I had to up the rating on this thread.