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Old 04-26-2007, 05:56 PM   #46
Autostream
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Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Belgrave, Victoria, Australia
Oddometer: 5,833
Elma Fudd and Chinese are very similar when written
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:41 AM   #47
XTC
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Joined: May 2005
Location: Waiuku New Zealand
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Hope I don't get banned for this...



Whats brown and sticky??























































A Stick.
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Old 04-27-2007, 02:09 AM   #48
MaverickAus
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Location: Heaven on Earth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XTC
Hope I don't get banned for this...
Whats brown and sticky??
A Stick.
Do we laugh yet?
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Old 04-27-2007, 06:32 AM   #49
Dr_beat
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Newcastle, Australia
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Whats big, yellow, heavy and can't swim?













.....A Bulldozer

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Old 04-27-2007, 04:35 PM   #50
XTC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaverickAus
Do we laugh yet?
Well my kids think it's funny.....
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Old 04-27-2007, 05:46 PM   #51
Pickled Amnesiac OP
ex Fishbulb....
 
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Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Oberon.... home of the.... pinetree?
Oddometer: 1,251
Talking a horse walks into a bar.....

and the bartender says 'why the long face?'

my fave all time joke.
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Old 04-28-2007, 05:19 PM   #52
ktmgeoff
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Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Norf East Tasmania,Australia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XTC
Well my kids think it's funny.....
Have pity on him folks, he does seem to come from the land of the wrong white crowd
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Old 04-28-2007, 09:56 PM   #53
XTC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freddogm
Have pity on him folks, he does seem to come from the land of the wrong white crowd
Hey now that's funny.
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Old 04-29-2007, 02:43 AM   #54
tripodtiger
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Location: you dont call wagga wagga wagga
Oddometer: 4,601
A pirate is on the lookout for some intimate action. Walking along the street, he sees a beautiful lady. Approaching her, he says, "How much to bite your breasts?" (he's a PC pirate, arrr).
The lady, of course, tells him to "piss off" and continues along the street.

The pirate, undeterred, follows he and offers "I'll give you a $100 if you let me bit your breasts." The lady ignores him and continues walking.

The pirate follows after her and says, "A thousand dollars. I'll give you a thousand dollars if you let me bite your breasts." The lady stops and rebuffs him again before walking away.

The pirate chases after her and says "Ten thousand dollars to let me bite your breasts. Ten grand." The lady stops and pauses. After a moment, she agrees.

The lady and the pirate find a quiet location where she removes her top & frees her .............. breasts (you can add whatever adjectives suit). The pirate carefully takes her breasts in his hands and fondles them, before kissing and licking and doing the 'nummmmm' bit in her cleavage.

The lady steps back for a moment and says
"Well, aren't you going to bite them?"
The pirate replies, "No. Too expensive."
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Old 04-29-2007, 05:43 AM   #55
Dr_beat
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Location: Newcastle, Australia
Oddometer: 159
I like that one above




What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?






.....RRRAAAAAA

Dr_beat screwed with this post 04-29-2007 at 06:09 AM
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Old 04-29-2007, 05:44 PM   #56
woafa
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personal favourite.

A duck walks into a video shop.
He looks around at the ‘New Releases’ then walks up to the counter and asks the guy “Got any grapes?”
The counter guy shakes his head and replies,
“umm, no. This is a video shop. If you want grapes, go to the fruit shop.”
The duck nods and walks out.


The next day, the duck walks into the video shop.
He looks at the ‘Westerns’ and glances at the ‘Comedy’ section then walks up to the counter and asks the guy
“Got any grapes?”
The counter guy blinks twice and says,
“No,,, I told you yesterday, this is a video shop. If you want grapes, go to the fruit shop 2 doors down. Go away.”
The duck nods and walks out.


The next day, the duck walks into the video shop.
He looks at the ‘Chick Flicks’ and then the ‘War movies’ then walks up to the counter and asks the guy
“Got any grapes?”
The counter guy is p*&&ssed off and tells him,
“Look, go away. This is a video shop. If you want grapes, go to the fruit shop. Now bugger off.”
The duck nods and walks out.


The next day, the duck walks into the video shop.
He looks at the ‘Cartoons’ and has a glance at the X-Box games before he walks up to the counter and asks the guy,
“Got any grapes?”
The counter guy has really had it by now. He tells the duck,
“Look, I’m warning you. This is a video shop. If you come back again asking for grapes, I’m going to nail your f^%$#kking beak to the desk”
The duck nods and walks out.


The next day, the duck walks into the video shop.
He looks at the ‘Foreign Movies’ and eventually comes out of the ‘Adult’ section…before he walks up to the counter.
The counter guys is waiting for him with a filthy look on his face and looks ready to kills something.
The duck says to him,
“Got a hammer?”
The counter guy shakes his head and says:
“Ummm,, no actually”
“Got any grapes?”
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Old 04-29-2007, 05:45 PM   #57
woafa
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sorry, PIRATE jokes...

A Pirate walks into a video shop...
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Old 04-29-2007, 05:57 PM   #58
Autostream
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Location: Belgrave, Victoria, Australia
Oddometer: 5,833
Quote:
Originally Posted by woafa
sorry, PIRATE jokes...

A Pirate walks into a video shop...
Needs a Beak, so it must have been a Pirates Duck
(there are only so many parrots and lots of Pirates)
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If it doesn't move and should use the WD-40, if it moves and shouldn't, use the Duct Tape.

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Old 04-29-2007, 06:11 PM   #59
woafa
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Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Sydney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Autostream
Needs a Beak, so it must have been a Pirates Duck
(there are only so many parrots and lots of Pirates)
could have been a pirate with a big nose...

cue Monty Python's Life of Brian Big-nose sktech...
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Old 04-29-2007, 06:40 PM   #60
4Skins
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Location: Wellington, New Zealand
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A guy goes to a zoo, there's only one animal, a dog - it's a Shih Tzu.

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