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Old 09-12-2007, 06:01 AM   #31
Thumper Girl
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Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Mid-Mich
Oddometer: 777
Originally Posted by ahendepe
I have been informed that I confuse the words where and were using them inappropriately. I apologize. I have calcified arteries in the region of the brain that remembers that and I can't relearn it. Please forgive me.
I just thought you picked that little drawl up on one of yur suthern trips.

Great write-up!

I laughed (at the bike), I cried (badger) and I laughed some more (anniversary.)

My guys went out that way in their Michigan cubicle escape. I got as far as Nebraska in the sag wagon rescue mission. (I'm not proficient enough for the long haul ... yet.) I know EXACTLY what you mean about them big rivers!

Here's their RR if you are interested.
Roll Me Away To 100K

Welcome to ADV!
Red hair & black leather, my favorite color scheme.

'06 Ninja 650r
'93 Honda XR100
'93 Honda 250XR
'83 Kawasaki GPz 550
'71 Triumph Bonneville - Restored, but parts keep falling off!
'73 Honda 350cl that I intend to ride around Lake Huron when we get her running well

Go out for adventure. Come home for love.

sas screwed with this post 09-13-2007 at 05:42 AM
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Old 09-12-2007, 11:25 AM   #32
Semi-feral Pappy
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Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Houston
Oddometer: 1,796
I'm lovin' this report!

The real beauty of your bike is that you blend in with construction zones thereby preventing you from getting those nasty speeding tickets!
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Old 09-12-2007, 05:23 PM   #33
vermin OP
unrepentant thinner
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cockpit tours

Thank you for flying Vermin Pacific Coast Airlines we have reached cruising altitude of 9,200 feet in the city of Leadville Colorado. Feel free to unbuckle your safety belts and mill about the cabin. For those interested the captain will be giving tours of the cockpit.

“Hello my name is Vermin thank you for being our guest on Vermin Pacific Coast Airlines. I am about to show you some advanced instrummmaaa. Never mind. I forgot this is a charter it is a bare bones operation.

I am as good a graphic artist as I am a husband. This paint program worked like a crappy digital etch-a-sketch ( my daughter now tells me if you hit the A button in paint you can type in the letters. Where was she a hour ago?

A) Cable tied on mirror/turn signal assembly. The advantages of ABS plastic bikes is that you can gore holes in it with any number of sharp objects contained in G. The reason the mirror was dangling is due to “The Incident” that won’t actually happen until the 29th. Either I have a crummy continuity editor in this film shoot or I have stumbled into another pesky anomaly in the space/time continuum. Either way my mirror was dangling and I didn’t have the right allen wrench to access the really cool Honda (put the mirror back on with no damage) clips.

B) Who in the hell made handlebar grips the size of a roll of Certs I came back from one trip absolutely convinced I had Lou Gehrigs disease. Sweet Thang pointed out that I had just done a round trip to the bayou of suthern Leweezeanna (2400m +/-) on a early seventies shovel head superglide.borrowed from a 5’2”tall woman. Ever since then my hands give me hell on trips so I took some pipe insulation and wrapped it in electrical tape to give me relief.

C) Cupholder from some Nissan that I bolted clean through the fake gas tank. This is handy I put change for tolls in one of the holes and my Ernest Tubb coffee cup in the other one. Don’t get me wrong “Bob Wills is still the King”

D) My GPS, a compass I got at Murrys auto parts with a digital something else that failed within the first week. The compass only points to the W (due to some high energy electro magnetic fields, emanating from the coil probably). This suits me just fine as I only like to go west. When I head E toward work and I look down and see the W it makes me happy because W is where I like be and it brings back sweet memories..

E) Sunglass holder drywall screwed to the dash. Picture yourself pulling into Sturgis with your real cool prescription sunglasses on. Picture the sinking feeling you get when you realize the vest pocket that held your $350 prescription regular glasses is flapping empty in the breeze. Ah it is only a coupla hundred miles to our last stop in Pierre we can find them. NOT! I could only ride in the day the rest of the trip. That is the trip where the Harley Fat Bastard Blew Up .Which turned out pretty cool as it forced me to stop in my tracks at dark, all alone. I met a lot more people on that trip because of that. But I don't recommend loosing glasses or blowing up motorcycles to meet people.

F) We have stumbled upon one of my nuclear rants, the one thing America has done right and it has remained unchanged since its introduction and it has never been improved upon THE SWING-AWAY-CAN OPENER. This is still a privately run business out of St Louis MO they don’t have corporate jets or jaw clenching CEO’s (buy high sell low) and they manufacture the damn things here in the USA. Wall Street would have you believe that such a thing is out of the question. My grandma had one bolted to the wall in the farm house and it opened cans when my dad was a kid, when I was a kid, and when my kids where kids and it still worked fine when we buried them, rest their souls. The only reason electric can openers took off in the first place is because the wretched cheap imported can openers wouldn’t open cans. Unfortunately this one fell on US-23. at rush hour and I found it a coupla months later on the shoulder and retrieved it. No it was not good as new. The only other product made in the USA is J.B.Weld without which I could not survive.

G) Gerber Brand multi tool with the slide in pliers that don’t pinch the crap out of your tender palm meat the moment it spins off a rusted on nut in which you have invested all of your strength. I had a old leatherman that is a flippin biohazard with hunks of vermins paw sheared off and wedged in the little cracks. I created a unique leatherman dance that included chanting obscenities while my biting bottom lip all squinch eyed. (I will admit to tearing up time and again).

I) Homer Simpson (thanks Andy)

J) Homer Simpson bottle opener

K) I was unable to find a replacement Swing-Away so I am temporarily stuck with this Chinese hunk of junk.

L) My Sweet Thang distress come get me transponder. (cell phone)

vermin screwed with this post 01-24-2008 at 01:29 PM
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Old 09-12-2007, 06:56 PM   #34
Simple. Fast. Paid for.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Mid-Michigan
Oddometer: 1,007
it's got it all, except one thing


• atgatt flannel on killboy
• a dead badger
• a man, his friends, his son
• the open road
• the big rivers

except one thing:

• No FD failure, ala BMW

Must be the obsessive preventative maintenance schedule?

The boots stay on.
'08 Buell Ulysses
'97 BMW R1100RT
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Old 09-13-2007, 03:14 AM   #35
vermin OP
unrepentant thinner
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heading to the heat

The next day

We bid our teary fair wells to the rels. Fine people. We headed south from Copper Mountain through Leadville. Thanks to you guys I was looking for a cool gravel road to take me west to Aspen but I had one of those small atlases that didn't rally show back roads so I played it safe and went south of Leadville to the main highway. Bikes running great, the sun is out and the weather is perfect. Real life is a vague memory we are day forgetin, mile eatin, heart breakin, scenery seein, bug eatin drifters fo sho now. We head northwest on Colorado highway number I don't care. Up a beautiful pass that leads up the back side of Aspen.

Drifter tries to scare his mom.

Drifter scares himself


Why do they call this town Aspen?

Ski Hill

This is a town of richass people, drifters are looked on with confusion and mild discomfort. I try to explain to the drifter that this lifestyle is the reward for a life well lived, attention to your grades and
exemplary moral fortitude and well worth striving for. I don't know if he bought it. To bad I am making vagrancy look like an attractive option.
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Old 09-13-2007, 05:00 AM   #36
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Detroit-ish
Oddometer: 96
Nice Aspen shots, but...

I feel like I have to butt in here. Sorry buddy.


It may not make for fine reading, but I don't want to let Phil mislead his children or anyone else into thinking for a second that he is a vagrant. Phil is a fine man with a beautiful family, a rock-solid marriage, and a gift for self-effacement. He is gainfully employed and excels at his job, thereby insulating himself from the overseas outsourcing to which many of his peers have fallen.

Heck, just to put some icing on the cake I'll include one final bit of information about our friend here: He is the Vice-President of his neighborhood association. Yep, believe it. This self-proclaimed High Plains Drifter who answers to no one but the open road spends the other 50 weekends a year dispensing wisdom to his well-heeled neighbors across manicured hedges with a plush, fresh-cut lawn under his feet.

I know he's not the only one on ADV with some contradictions in their life, but I would bet my bottom dollar that not one of us glides through life on so true a path as my friend here. The man simply does not compromise himself or his beliefs. You had better believe that his kids will turn out just fine!


And now, back to our story!

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Old 09-13-2007, 05:50 AM   #37
Thumper Girl
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Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Mid-Mich
Oddometer: 777
Dang it.

Quit ruining the storyline with that fat-filled Twinkie commercial stuff, Mr. Late Apexer.

Red hair & black leather, my favorite color scheme.

'06 Ninja 650r
'93 Honda XR100
'93 Honda 250XR
'83 Kawasaki GPz 550
'71 Triumph Bonneville - Restored, but parts keep falling off!
'73 Honda 350cl that I intend to ride around Lake Huron when we get her running well

Go out for adventure. Come home for love.

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Old 09-13-2007, 06:04 AM   #38
Metal Doc
Duc addicted
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Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Northeastern, TN
Oddometer: 1,446

"A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over. " - Benjamin Franklin
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Old 09-13-2007, 06:30 AM   #39
elitist BMW snob
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Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Fairfax VA
Oddometer: 1,182
Best. Ride report. Ever.

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Old 09-13-2007, 06:56 AM   #40
Sr. nOOb
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Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Oddometer: 2,173

I'm going to say it, that is " Farkle-licious"( new word)
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Old 09-13-2007, 07:43 AM   #41
Joined: May 2007
Location: Germansville, PA
Oddometer: 32
This is friggin' fantastic, and much more enjoyable than work.

As an aside, I bought an old run-down farmhouse a few years ago, complete with a Swing-Away opener bolted to the pantry. That sucker sealed the deal.

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Old 09-13-2007, 08:35 AM   #42
Hershey bar & a brick
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Joined: Sep 2003
Location: 8 miles from Graceland
Oddometer: 1,357
The other cube people around me are reading this over my shoulder. You are our hero, a dim glimmerin Bevis bulb of light.

Pray continue...
Practice sensless acts of random carelessness.
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Old 09-13-2007, 09:42 AM   #43
Gypsy diver
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Location: BOAF Caves, NC
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Reading this sure beats working. Great report!
Some random stuff for sale
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Old 09-13-2007, 10:54 AM   #44
Ritalin Boy
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I'm wondering if I should find a PC800 and set it up for the next Iron Butt Rally.

Great stuff.
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Old 09-13-2007, 11:34 AM   #45
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Location: In my natural state
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The thread is great, the title is sublime. Want to abandon the bike in my yard?
"Do or do not. There is no 'try.'"
— Yoda

Man Ball Rolls Through Coloutahrado 2014!
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