1st Ironhead Rally 10-27-07, VT

[elmoreman]

There is nothing sweeter than a hard-won victory. Olympians get the feeling after countless hours of practice—running until extreme exhaustion sets in, kicking and gliding with a rifle across your back until its just you and the moonlight, or throwing a stone and sweeping like your life depended on it, the freshly scrubbed ice flashing through the air and blinding you, the smell of a Curling gold driving you on.

I have tasted victory my friends, and it is sweet. I AM IRONMAN!

I know what you’re thinking—
"Hey Elmoreman…weren’t you the only one there?"

Well, that’s true, but really a moot point. YOU weren’t there. All you "adventure riders" scared of a little rain, slick rocks and mud, and two inches of wet leaves on top of everything. Or perhaps it was Crankshft’s avatar that kept you away, the Jolly Roger mocking your lameness. I AM IRONMAN!

The day dawned cloudy. Mr. Weatherman had changed his prediction from 50’s and 90% probability of rain to 50’s and 100% chance of rain (note: as an English teacher, I must point out that there is no such thing as a 100% "chance." If it is going to happen (100%), any "chance" has been eliminated…but I digress). I left my friends house in Charlotte, headed south for less than ten miles, and pulled into Crankshafts driveway. No bikes in the yard. Immediately, I could taste the podium…


Crankshaft came out, surprised I think that anyone actually showed up. We unloaded the trusty, bought from Mercury, soon to be buried underneath a trailer and sold to RJP, XR250r, plated and stickered in good old Vermont. He had a glint of envy in his eye, that Cranky, upon seeing my trusty, aircooled, uncomputerized steed, so he turned, entered his barn, and got out the X.


I roll-charted, relieved myself in the rain, engaged the GPS, and then another bike came up the hill. Seth had ridden up from Rutland in the rain.
"Too late! Victory is MINE!" You see…I was on time.

Crankshaft and Seth inspect the 950.

[elmoreman]

So we departed. The numbers of the Ironhead Rally had dwindled to three riders, one of them the organizer, and the wife/cousin chase vehicle.

A brief note here. Right before Seth showed up, Crankshafts lovely wife came out, stood beside him (making her not a few feet away from me) and said "Sorry NOBODY showed up, honey."

NOBODY? She meets me, and then less than an hour later refers to me as nobody…that hurts, baby, that really hurts.

Gas and go. I left the beginning, following the route sheet, cruising through some beautiful backroads, headed for some familiar territory. Plenty of dirt road riding, some of it pretty greasy from the rain and a recent grading, and then up and over a foggy Lincoln Gap (non DOT knobbies are not real confidence inspiring on these mountain passes). I continued on, until just a few miles before the end of the transit and the beginning of the special section.

As they say, there are two types of riders. Those who have gone down, and those who will. This was my turn to go from the latter to the former.

I pulled up behind a truck pulling a trailer with a bobcat on it. He was going slow…no problem. I can wait. He puts on his left indicator, I see where he is going to turn. I wait some more. Then he pulls a little to the right side of the road, starts his swing to the left, and pauses. I assume he has seen me and decided to let me pass before he turns in. So I give it some gas…

…and at the same time, so does he. Now the truck is swinging left in front of me. I brake, hit the side of the truck, dump the bike and crawl out of the way, fast. Luckily, he heard/felt something, stopped, and got out apologizing to me! Quickly, I do a body check (I’m fine, ATGATT), and correct him.

"No worries, man. That was totally my fault," I said. He continued to show concern for me, apologized again, then backed up the bobcat on the trailer to unweight the front of it so I could get out the bike. He apologized again, after I hit him! God, I love Vermont…

[elmoreman]

On to the special section. I took off my rain-soaked gloves, explain the saga of my first road get-off to the assembled gang (they skipped a section to get to the special before me), switched into my Maine coast Clamming gloves, and we headed into the woods.

It was slippery! Wet leaves on wet rocks. Sounds like some kind of low-friction physics experiment, and I dumped the XR twice. Once when I caught a wet log on the way up, and again on some other obstacle on the way down.


Seth up (950, balding tires...)

[elmoreman]

Crankshaft does the same.

[elmoreman]

At the top, we paused for a break, and I found a wonderful broken chair to use as a kickstand (Mercury broke it off the XR before I bought it).

[elmoreman]

Seth and Aaron came up without a hitch on their 950ADV and X respectively, and then we headed down. I stopped, took this shot of Seth going through the mud, and then proceeded to fall for the second time.

[elmoreman]

Upon falling, I realized that aside from jamming my leg (it was completely straight when I came off the bike) I had done something to my pinky. I took off my glove, and it looked bad. Like I’d really broken it. Upon inspection though, when I went to give it the touch-test, it didn’t really hurt. A little more pressure, and it popped right back in place—then wiggled out again—then popped back.

Regretfully, no picture here. I was focused on something else .

I caught up to the other guys, got some tape from Seth’s first aid kit, immobilized the finger, and carried on to the bottom.

After a while waiting at the bottom with the chase vehicle, Aaron came down in stealth mode—no engine—but not by choice. The X had died (note to potential buyers, its under warranty still). At this point, the rally officially ended. It was raining hard, Aaron had no bike, and we decided to call it a day. Seth headed home, Cranky hopped in the Toaster, and I followed them back home to collect my prize and eat some good home cookin’.

[elmoreman]

Caddyshack and warm food....

Many thanks to the host and the chef!

[elmoreman]

So I’m here writing, got my leg up because there is something weird going on with my knee, my left pinky has grown a subtle shade of purple, and every once in a while I get a shooting pain in my chest muscle on my left side. I spoke to my wife on the phone a little while ago, and she asked, "So…was it worth it?"



You know the answer.

[PackMule]

[GB]

What a mess!! Nice report though!!

[Boatman]

Glad your "okay".

Now I'm sorry I stayed home and worked...... yeah, right!!!!!!

[crankshaft]

The weather was shit, but the company and food was excellent! If this was an Ebay seller feedback forum I would give an A++++++++

[Mercury264]

Fooking pussy. Ice it up and get out there tomorrow

Yesterday I thought to myself, ya know, my ribs don't feel too bad mebbe I could give it a go. Not being able to (still) lie on my left side in bed last night dissuaded me of that thought.

Really sorry I missed this - even if I would have had to contend with the emotional distress of seeing my bike under a trailer (once you own a bike, it never truly leaves you).

Don't let this put you off Crankshaft, shitty set of cirumstances led to only Elmoreman turning up (he HAD to turn up, he's won fuck-all since a grade 2 sack race) so please do it again in the spring.

Great report.

Now buy my DRZ already

[siamesesilk]

Well, NOBODY showed up!!!...yeah, it hurts doesn't it? Good times! Congratulations!