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Old 07-15-2008, 01:13 AM   #1
vermin OP
unrepentant thinner
 
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Joined: Jan 2007
Oddometer: 541
San Diego to Anchorage: The Grapes of Rat

The Grapes of Rat

“A good plan executed violently today is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” -General George S. Patton Jr.

“A vague plan executed on the internet while your wife is hollerin at the dumb ass cute boy on Survivor is the best of all.”-Vermin

So there I sat in my cubicle, the American dream appeared to be well on the way into taking one of its periodic majestic swan dives into a barrel of shit and I was contemplating myself into a grade A Midwest rust bowl funk. It seemed no matter how many belligerent 400lb misdirected youths got tazed on Cops my attitude did not improve. It was time to do something ludicrous and poorly planned.

I did the only rational thing a person concerned about global warming could do, I got on the internet and signed up to burn up liquefied dinosaurs like a frat boy at 10 cent beer night.

Plan number A (leg 2)

San Diego to Anchorage



The Players



Left to right:

Vermin - cube dwelling geek, paws feverishly at his keyboard for 40 hours a week trying to exceed his internal and external customers increasing expectations (so that the occasional food pellet will fall on his cedar chips in a sick experiment in behavioral psychology that has B.F. Skinner smiling behind gods one way mirror). Notice original Cack has a minked out gas tank circa 1995 predating the stunt boyz furred out stunt bikes by at least 5 years.

Drifter - innocent victim of last summers adventure. (http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=265019)

Dollbaby - saw the light of day for the first time 9 minutes after drifter in 1994. 3.5 lbs of high class lady. The first time I met her she grabbed my thumb like a throttle. Her little translucent fingers were so small they didn't make it all the way around. I was informed last winter that she wanted to go on an excellent adventure. With my adventurin bike stuffed in Unks garage in San Diego near the border of Mexico that left only one logical choice, Anchorage.
I thought the county family services agency would take her away from me for doing such a brutal trip so I tried to talk her down to a leasurely putt to Seattle or Missoula but she was having none of it. Game on.


Cohorts of sorts


Ant - A good woman in trying circumstances. Her sister married this clown that keeps showing up and messing up her routine.

Unk - Nice guy, big shooter, no doubt filled in his vacation request online without printing it out and scribbling all over it. The world needs people like this. He can pay attention to stuff for hours and he has been well rewarded. Needless to say my entire scenario makes him kweezy (sp)*

*my daygum computer tells me when a word is spelled wrong with those cute skwiggly underlines and then doesn't tell me how to fix it so let this be the big spelling disclaimer. Nearly every word from here on out will be misspelled at my leasure.

Stay Tuned

vermin screwed with this post 10-07-2008 at 05:45 AM Reason: disoriented
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Old 07-15-2008, 03:55 AM   #2
Mileater
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Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
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Talking Oh Boy! Here we go.....

Been waiting for this one for a while...

I'll just hang onto the back and you can take me for another brilliant ADV ride

Cheers
Allan
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Old 07-15-2008, 05:06 AM   #3
KHVol
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This is gonna be good......
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Old 07-15-2008, 05:57 AM   #4
Thylex
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Location: Southern Sweden
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Im in

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Old 07-15-2008, 06:52 AM   #5
out rider
Nearing the end
 
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Location: IN PROTECTIVE CUSTODY
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Somebody get the lights...
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Old 07-15-2008, 01:21 PM   #6
F16Viper68
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Location: Crawfordville, FL
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Well there goes this weeks productivity. Again I've been sucked into the swirling vortex known as "Another Excellent Ride Report!"

Can't wait for this to get going.

Dave...
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Old 07-15-2008, 03:04 PM   #7
Frostbit
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Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Eagle River, Alaska
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I'm glued to the monitor...


And thanks for the hand crafted hats Vermin, they'll be put to good use.
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Old 07-15-2008, 03:38 PM   #8
zadok
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Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Port Kennedy, Western Australia
Oddometer: 988
Love the high tech map! Have a good one.
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Old 07-15-2008, 04:23 PM   #9
longrider999
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Location: new london,wizconzin
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ageless ineptitude

vermin,it gets worse after 50.do it all RIGHT FREEKING NOW.good luck with youre trip.looking forward to RIDING along in the armchair!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 07-15-2008, 04:30 PM   #10
Watercat
. . . gravity sucks
 
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Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Garlic Gulch, Duwamps Pacific NorWet
Oddometer: 1,543
Here we goooooooooo ! ! !

This is going to be GREAT ! ! ! ! !

In !





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Old 07-15-2008, 04:38 PM   #11
DELTATANGO
Motorcyclist and Dog Walk
 
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Location: Alabama
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I thought it was something like...

A good plan executed violently now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.
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Old 07-15-2008, 04:41 PM   #12
Flash9677
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Location: Great Lake State
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In preparation for our first cickle trip, I cued up your report from last year for my wife to read. After she stopped giggling, wiping away the tears and catching her breath, she told me that if I try any of that s*** with her this trip, I'll wake up singing saprano.

I'm riding along vicariously.

Write-on bro.
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Old 07-15-2008, 04:52 PM   #13
Bigger Al
Still a stupid tire guy
 
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Location: Auburn, CA
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I can see now that my ribs will be sore for the next few installments. Again.

Bring it on, Vermin!! Your public awaits................
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Old 07-15-2008, 08:35 PM   #14
RedRocket
Yeah! I want Cheesy Poofs
 
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Location: SoCal
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Count me in!
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Old 07-15-2008, 09:06 PM   #15
ruh roh
hey Yall
 
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Location: Central Ark
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yeeha!

(whatd your bro in law ever do with that ugly thing you left on his doorstep?)
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