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Old 07-15-2008, 12:13 AM   #1
vermin OP
unrepentant thinner
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Joined: Jan 2007
Oddometer: 542
San Diego to Anchorage: The Grapes of Rat

The Grapes of Rat

“A good plan executed violently today is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” -General George S. Patton Jr.

“A vague plan executed on the internet while your wife is hollerin at the dumb ass cute boy on Survivor is the best of all.”-Vermin

So there I sat in my cubicle, the American dream appeared to be well on the way into taking one of its periodic majestic swan dives into a barrel of shit and I was contemplating myself into a grade A Midwest rust bowl funk. It seemed no matter how many belligerent 400lb misdirected youths got tazed on Cops my attitude did not improve. It was time to do something ludicrous and poorly planned.

I did the only rational thing a person concerned about global warming could do, I got on the internet and signed up to burn up liquefied dinosaurs like a frat boy at 10 cent beer night.

Plan number A (leg 2)

San Diego to Anchorage

The Players

Left to right:

Vermin - cube dwelling geek, paws feverishly at his keyboard for 40 hours a week trying to exceed his internal and external customers increasing expectations (so that the occasional food pellet will fall on his cedar chips in a sick experiment in behavioral psychology that has B.F. Skinner smiling behind gods one way mirror). Notice original Cack has a minked out gas tank circa 1995 predating the stunt boyz furred out stunt bikes by at least 5 years.

Drifter - innocent victim of last summers adventure. (

Dollbaby - saw the light of day for the first time 9 minutes after drifter in 1994. 3.5 lbs of high class lady. The first time I met her she grabbed my thumb like a throttle. Her little translucent fingers were so small they didn't make it all the way around. I was informed last winter that she wanted to go on an excellent adventure. With my adventurin bike stuffed in Unks garage in San Diego near the border of Mexico that left only one logical choice, Anchorage.
I thought the county family services agency would take her away from me for doing such a brutal trip so I tried to talk her down to a leasurely putt to Seattle or Missoula but she was having none of it. Game on.

Cohorts of sorts

Ant - A good woman in trying circumstances. Her sister married this clown that keeps showing up and messing up her routine.

Unk - Nice guy, big shooter, no doubt filled in his vacation request online without printing it out and scribbling all over it. The world needs people like this. He can pay attention to stuff for hours and he has been well rewarded. Needless to say my entire scenario makes him kweezy (sp)*

*my daygum computer tells me when a word is spelled wrong with those cute skwiggly underlines and then doesn't tell me how to fix it so let this be the big spelling disclaimer. Nearly every word from here on out will be misspelled at my leasure.

Stay Tuned

vermin screwed with this post 10-07-2008 at 04:45 AM Reason: disoriented
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Old 07-15-2008, 02:55 AM   #2
Gnarly Adventurer
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Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
Oddometer: 379
Talking Oh Boy! Here we go.....

Been waiting for this one for a while...

I'll just hang onto the back and you can take me for another brilliant ADV ride

"Enough Robert Pirsig-esque philosophizing. My bike didn’t need maintanenece and my Zen was around the next corner. Time to ride." Sly-on-2
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Old 07-15-2008, 04:06 AM   #3
Beastly Adventurer
Joined: May 2004
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This is gonna be good......
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Old 07-15-2008, 04:57 AM   #4
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Southern Sweden
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Im in

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Old 07-15-2008, 05:52 AM   #5
out rider
You Go First
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Somebody get the lights...
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Old 07-15-2008, 12:21 PM   #6
Trapped in the Sandbox!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Crawfordville, FL
Oddometer: 843
Well there goes this weeks productivity. Again I've been sucked into the swirling vortex known as "Another Excellent Ride Report!"

Can't wait for this to get going.

pirahna - If any of us put a dollar value on the time we spend on our hobbies we would all look like idiots.
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Old 07-15-2008, 02:04 PM   #7
Is it cold in here?
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Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Eagle River, Alaska
Oddometer: 1,045
I'm glued to the monitor...

And thanks for the hand crafted hats Vermin, they'll be put to good use.
It’s easier to have a strong opinion with less information.

Check out forum.
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Old 07-15-2008, 02:38 PM   #8
Studly Adventurer
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Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Port Kennedy, Western Australia
Oddometer: 992
Love the high tech map! Have a good one.
Marty F
'13 Triumph Sprint GT; '14 BMW G 650 GS
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Old 07-15-2008, 03:23 PM   #9
Beastly Adventurer
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Joined: Jan 2008
Location: new london,wizconzin
Oddometer: 1,414
ageless ineptitude

vermin,it gets worse after it all RIGHT FREEKING NOW.good luck with youre trip.looking forward to RIDING along in the armchair!!!!!!!!!!!
In every moment of life,youre CREATOR is revealing beauty and love to the heart of Man.-WHITE EAGLE
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Old 07-15-2008, 03:30 PM   #10
. . . gravity sucks
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Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Beervanastan, Duwamps Pacific NorWet
Oddometer: 1,615
Here we goooooooooo ! ! !

This is going to be GREAT ! ! ! ! !

In !

Get your motor runin' . . . . . "Seek an erection for medical help lasting longer than four hours"

" . . . discovery channel has been shit for over a decade . . . this (ADVrider) is actually good." - OldAndBusted

Expect the unexpected! - Skunked & DfunkD

2006 Husky TE 610
2005 Big Strom
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Old 07-15-2008, 03:38 PM   #11
Motorcyclist and Dog Walk
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Alabama
Oddometer: 13,907
I thought it was something like...

A good plan executed violently now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.
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Old 07-15-2008, 03:41 PM   #12
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Great Lake State
Oddometer: 2
In preparation for our first cickle trip, I cued up your report from last year for my wife to read. After she stopped giggling, wiping away the tears and catching her breath, she told me that if I try any of that s*** with her this trip, I'll wake up singing saprano.

I'm riding along vicariously.

Write-on bro.
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Old 07-15-2008, 03:52 PM   #13
Bigger Al
Still a stupid tire guy
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Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Auburn, CA
Oddometer: 7,980
I can see now that my ribs will be sore for the next few installments. Again.

Bring it on, Vermin!! Your public awaits................
"I'd rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on Earth."

Steve McQueen

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Old 07-15-2008, 07:35 PM   #14
Yeah! I want Cheesy Poofs
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Joined: Feb 2003
Location: SoCal
Oddometer: 20,244
Count me in!
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Old 07-15-2008, 08:06 PM   #15
ruh roh
hey Yall
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Joined: May 2008
Location: Central Ark
Oddometer: 296

(whatd your bro in law ever do with that ugly thing you left on his doorstep?)
If the world didnt suck , we d all fall off.
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